Last update: February 04, 2016
Since the story of Adam and Eve in Eden, the forbidden has always had a certain fascination with men.
In the different interpersonal relationships and according to the different evolutionary phases of man, prohibitions and prohibitions have triggered different reactions. Each of the reactions demonstrates attraction precisely to what is forbidden.
To understand the psychology of attraction and charm in the face of prohibitions, it is advisable to understand the psychological evolution from childhood and, starting from there, to know the most effective strategies to avoid generating attraction or charm around what we want to prohibit.
In childhood: the instinct of curiosity
Since we are children, curiosity always pushes us to discover the world, to take an interest in what surrounds us and to experience new things.. This, without a shadow of a doubt, is part of human learning, from an early childhood.
We could say that it is a basic instinct to learn, grow, mature and therefore survive. For this reason, nothing or no one can prevent us already in the period of childhood from exploring, experimenting with our hands and discovering new things..
In this phase, the ban becomes a very strong curiosity to discover what is beyond what you already know, so it becomes something very fascinating, which you can hardly resist.
Instead of prohibiting, alternatives must be offered
In childhood, what is not named does not exist or at least does not arouse interest.
If we want a child not to come close to a concrete place, the ideal is not to insist that he does not, but to give him alternatives to make him do what we want, making sure to arouse interest and curiosity towards what is not problematic.
Adolescence: a question of self-affirmation
In full adolescence, young people need to affirm themselves and at the same time to know and discover themselves. For this reason, a necessity of the juvenile phase is to distinguish themselves from the models of the parents, affirming their ideas and defining their own path.
In this process, young people develop the character and personality that were still latent in childhood; therefore they need their space and to make their own decisions, to clearly feel different from their parents.
Prohibition in adolescence is one more reason to stand out from the canons instilled by parents, who are no longer needed now. The forbidden is more fascinating and becomes for young people a reason for distinction and self-affirmation as unique people.
Instead of prohibiting, we need to negotiate
When we pretend that a teenager does not do something, it will be useful to explain the reasons and values ​​of that wrong option to him. Always showing respect towards his person, his opinion and his decision. Very often, young people inevitably learn from their mistakes.
In this case, we could try to reach a compromise, a negotiation on both sides, something that turns out to be an advantage for adults and also for young people.
In any case, it is important to keep in mind that if a teenager wants to do something, no matter how much we forbid it, he has many ways and means to do it.. A compromise with respect to the conflict with consequent detachment on a physical and emotional level will therefore always be more convenient.
The freedom to be an adult
Adulthood is the stage of freedom, maturity, responsibility and compromise. It is when the adult freely decides on his life, becomes independent from his parents and makes personal decisions that will mark his life.
From this moment on, no one has the right to decide our path, it is only up to us adults to do it, thus earning the respect of those around us..
In this case, the prohibition generates rejection towards the person who imposes it and, without doubt, also fascination with the prohibition itself, in an attempt to show the world that we are the masters of our life and that nothing or no one can decide for us.
Instead of prohibiting, respect
Every adult has the right to decide his own life, even if he makes mistakes. For this we must show respect towards the decision of those around us, while expressing our opinion on the matter, but without prohibitions, without judgments, without threats or reproaches..
Prohibition: an interesting option
Since prohibitions generate feelings, attitudes or reactions contrary to their intent, it is obvious that we must learn to express ourselves in a different way, respecting the stage of the evolutionary process in which the person we are dealing with is.
