The couple crisis and its alarm bells

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Robert Maurer
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The couple crisis and its alarm bells

That of a couple is a relationship that must stimulate and enrich those who are part of it. When it doesn't, there are clear signs of a potential relationship crisis.

Last update: October 11, 2022

Having a partner is one of the most important relationships of our life. For this reason it is vital that the bond remains healthy, so that both of them feel enriched. However, very often we ignore important signs that indicate that something is not going as it should and that, therefore, are an indication of a couple crisis.



Each stage of the relationship has unique characteristics, but shares certain traits with the others. When we form an emotional bond with another human being, we take on certain responsibilities towards ourselves and our partner. Precisely for this reason we must commit ourselves and work on the reasons for friction, so that they do not wear down the relationship and do not end up generating suffering.

The following are some of the most common situations that harm the couple. Paying attention to these red flags will be helpful to understand the health of the relationship and to act accordingly.

Alarm bells that indicate a couple crisis

Get away from others

It usually happens at the beginning of the relationship, due to the strong desire of both to be together all the time, or it can occur later due to the inertia of the couple's life. But this situation could be due to excessive jealousy of the partner and her being possessive, or we could be the ones who chose to devote most of our time to the relationship.


Either way, it's one of the most important red flags. A relationship in a couple must not lead us to lose contact with the people we love, to abandon our career, our passions or time for ourselves.


All these elements are fundamental for having a healthy and balanced life; neglecting this aspect can fuel a strong dependence on the partner.

Lack of balance and couple crisis

It often happens to notice that in some couples one of the two members invests much more time, strength and energy to safeguard the bond. It is always the same person who gives in, makes plans and provides for the physical and emotional needs, while the other just receives, most of the time without even thanking him for what he is given.

In a healthy and fulfilling relationship there must be reciprocity. If not, sooner or later the burden will be impossible for one of the members to bear, who will start to feel frustrated, sad and lonely. This does not mean that everything must be perfectly fair at all times, but that it is essential to feel that it is a path to be shared.

Disrespect

Respect is fundamental in any interpersonal relationship, and especially in a couple relationship. It is possible to disrespect in different ways: from the most obvious (as in cases of physical or psychological violence) to the most subtle (as when one makes fun of the other or belittles his interests, opinions or feelings).

We must be clear that it is neither acceptable nor tolerable under any circumstances. It does not matter how angry or frustrated we feel: we are adults and we must be able to use tools that do not exceed the established limits.


If the partner humiliates, ridicules, ignores or belittles our feelings, we shouldn't tolerate it. Respect always begins with oneself; we teach others how to treat us.


Inadequate forms of communication

Aggressive, passive or unsuitable communication is a wake-up call that we cannot ignore. All couples have reasons for disagreement, but if they know how to express themselves, they will be able to resolve conflicts without pain and without consequences.


If not, the inability to communicate honestly and assertively will increase the distance between the two.

How to behave in front of the signs of a couple crisis?

Recognizing ourselves in one of these points does not mean that our relationship has come to an end. However, it is important not to overlook themi, otherwise the problems could increase. Acting in time with dialogue, modifying behaviors or even seeking the help of a professional if necessary, will help us to recover the bond.


Human relationships are complex and those of a couple, in particular, act as a mirror in a much more visible way. Exactly for this reason, any investments we make in a relationship will result in greater well-being for both of us.

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