Last update: January 14, 2016
Relationships and love are not just occasions to give boxes of chocolates on Valentine's Day or to give a lot of attention.
A fulfilling and healthy relationship can make you better, happier, and stronger people. To do this, there must be good communication, respect and healthy couple habits.
"The company of another person must add value to your life, and not fill an emotional gap."
When there is no communication, respect and healthy habits, unhappy relationships arise. Even worse is staying in such relationships for convenience, through the following behaviors.
1) Don't follow intuition
Has your inner voice been telling you for some time that your partner isn't really what they seem?
It often happens that, at the beginning of the relationship, everything seems like roses and flowers. The falling in love phase brings you closer to the other person: you tend to minimize his flaws and emphasize his qualities.
I problems begin when certain rather unhealthy behaviors appear, such as lies, oddities and excessive jealousy.
If you find yourself in such a situation, stop meditating, otherwise you will enter one of those unhappy relationships that no one wants.
Analyze the situation and, if you realize that you are indeed witnessing unhealthy behaviors, think about the different options available.
Sometimes it is possible to seek outside help; at other times, however, it is better to end the relationship to avoid more serious problems in the future.
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. "
2) Anxiety due to life as a couple
Perhaps your family is one of those who want to know when you are getting married, they show their concern that you are single, regardless of your age or any other goals you may have. This is a very common behavior that you have to learn to deal with instead of obsessing about it.
Many unhappy relationships arise from this worry. Both men and women can be tempted to start a relationship to avoid the nagging questions of family members.
“The problem is that we live in the culture of 'lived happily ever after', of 'how it should be' instead of 'how it really is'. If they hadn't taught us this fantasy, I think we'd be less neurotic by now ”.
After starting the romance, anxiety about the moment of marriage appears. Eventually she marries us and, at some point, finds herself in a relationship that she didn't want.
The best thing you can do, therefore, is not to worry about external pressures: if you do not feel ready, simply explain it to those who ask you questions. Everyone has their own times and you have to learn to respect them.
3) Accontent / arsi
This behavior can be related to what we have just said, even if it is not always the case. It is about situations where you maintain a relationship with your partner just to avoid questions and not because you really love him.
Maybe you love him / her, but you don't love him / her and there are things about him / her that you just can't stand. However, hold on, as it is easier than putting up with social pressure.
It may also happen that there is no external pressure, but your greatest hope in life is to get married, have children, and form a stable family.
For this reason, look for and find a person who wants more or less the same things. Most likely, she doesn't meet all your expectations, but since she's willing to give you what you want, stick with her.
As you can imagine, in both situations you will find yourself in an unhappy relationship. This may work at first, but too many problems will emerge after a few years.
"Do not be satisfied with being" someone "to one person, when you can be" everything "to another".
How to change these behaviors
We all have the gift of intuition, even if we don't always pay attention to it. Listening to intuition is the best way to avoid unhappy relationships; you just need to listen to what your feelings tell you.
It is normal to try to avoid pain and suffering.
Therefore, you have two options with unhappy relationships: get out of them or self-convince yourself that everything is going well. For the sake of your physical and mental health, it is best to end unhappy relationships.
Sure, it won't be easy, but at least you will take control of your life and be able to look for a relationship that makes you feel good for real.
“Being guided by intuition is not the same as being guided by impulse: intuition sees beyond the eyes. The impulse is dangerously blind. "
Images courtesy of Nicoletta Ceccoli, Claudia Tremblay, Melissacopeland