Last update: 18 September, 2016
Mourning is a feeling that all human beings experience throughout the course of their existence. We are not born yet and we are already beginning to lose something. In turn, every loss implies a suffering to be transmitted and overcome.
Every bereavement involves a loss. Since losses can be of different nature, there are also different types of bereavement. There is talk of "evolutionary deaths" which refer to the losses that accompany the passage from one age to another. Reference is also made to "social duels", such as the loss of a job, retirement, exile, etc.
However, the griefs that bring greater difficulties are those born of the loss of loved ones, especially for their death. This is largely due to the fact that most of the time the bond ends, but not the love from which it was composed, nor the dreams, fantasies and hopes that accompany it. For this reason, the suffering is intense and requires a lot of work to overcome. From the point of view of emotional loss, there are different types of bereavement which we describe below.
Early mourning
This bereavement occurs as much we are aware that we are on the verge of suffering a loss, which, however, has not yet materialized. It occurs when, for example, a divorce is prepared, a long journey, a terminal illness or euthanasia is planned.
The difference with respect to other bereavement is that in the anticipated bereavement the feelings are usually much more ambivalent and unstable. Since the person is still present, the sufferer alternates closeness and distance: you want to feel the person's presence for the last time, but at the same time fear the consequences of this attachment. In these cases, it is best to express feelings directly and openly with the person who is leaving.
Absent mourning
It is a form of grief in which the affected person blocks their feelings. You try to act as if nothing has happened and you are completely hermetic on the subject. If it is mentioned, it is not given a different value to what it would give to any other fact.
In this case, a denial mechanism operates. The impact is so strong that the person does not feel capable of dealing with it. For this reason, it focuses on other aspects of life. The problem is that hidden pain always re-emerges, in the form of irritability, anxiety or a physical illness, for example.
Chronic bereavement
Chronic bereavement occurs when a person fails to process the loss of a loved one. In one way or another, he resists accepting what has happened and obsessively focuses on keeping alive the memory of this someone who is no longer there. He ends up paralyzing his life and always maintaining a posture of pain.
People with depressive tendencies are more likely to experience this type of pain, which also turns into a lifestyle. Anxiety, sadness and guilt first, as well as a feeling of helplessness and disillusionment. This type of bereavement requires professional help.
Delayed mourning
In general it is an effect of absent bereavement. Even if at first the person wants to ignore his pain, after some time, great strength emerges and, perhaps, at the least expected moment. Sometimes it can even take years before bereavement begins.
There are also cases in which a person cannot experience bereavement when the loss occurs due to special conditions, such as an overly urgent work commitment or a pressing family situation. The postponed pain appears later and has some complications, as it usually has to be experienced alone.
Inhibited mourning
This type of grief is experienced by people who have great difficulty expressing their feelings. This is the case with children who are unable to voice their emotions. On many occasions, adults ignore their pain and do not help them to overcome it, because they are convinced that "they do not understand".
Mourning is also inhibited in the case of people with some cognitive impairment or in situations where the father or mother tries to be strong for the sake of the children or when someone is very reserved and does not have the opportunity to talk about what they are. trial. In any case, inhibition results in obsessions, constant depression, anxiety, etc.
Mourning discredited
In discredited mourning occurs a rejection by a third party of the pain experienced by a person. In the long run, others always try to discredit mourning because, for those who do not suffer, one must let go of those who have gone away and go on with their lives.
However, there are specific situations in which bereavement is openly discredited from the very beginning. For example, when a man or woman dies who was in an extra-marital relationship. In this case, the deceased's lover would not "have the right" to express her grief. Sometimes it also applies to the death of a pet, as if it causes a lot of pain, others will be inclined to diminish that suffering.
