“Don't become a pessimist. The pessimist is usually more right than the optimist, but the optimist enjoys more, and in the end none of them can stop the course of events, ”said Robert Anson Heinlein. Of course, it's not about cultivating naive optimism, but normally, seeing only the more negative side of life doesn't help.
Thinking positive, with all its loyal followers and detractors, does not mean repeating a series of positive affirmations to counteract recurring negative thoughts. It is a much deeper transformation of attitude that involves being able to detect our destructive thoughts, the ones that make situations further worse, and being able to take a more constructive attitude that will benefit us.
Positive thinking encourages action, makes us proactive people who take responsibility for their life. On the contrary, a negative attitude based on destructive thoughts blocks us in suffering, enclosing us in a vicious circle. That's why it's important to be alert to thoughts that act like vampires as they suck up our energy and positivity.
The thoughts that block you and keep you from growing
In a sense, these destructive thoughts are a kind of psychological torture that we apply to ourselves.
1. Thought of deprivation
We have all been victims of the thought of deprivation, so it is the first "mental vampire" that we must get rid of if we are to develop a more positive attitude.
Basically, we have this thought whenever we focus on what we have lost, what we may have lost or what we may have had. It is evident that this type of thinking generates only suffering, it is like noticing only that the glass is half empty, without realizing that it is also half full.
The problem with this kind of thinking is that it leads us to focus solely on the loss, so we won't be able to see the new opportunities. If we continue to cry for lost love, we will never be ready to start a new relationship that can give us many beautiful things.
Likewise, if in a relationship we only think that we can lose that person, we end up developing insane jealousy that will eventually suffocate them and drive them away from us.
From whatever perspective we look at it, the thought of deprivation brings us nothing interesting and positive, but condemns us to a circle of grievances and self-pity.
2. Thinking of negation
The second "mental vampire" that we often encounter is the thought of denial, and it is one of the worst because we are not normally aware of its existence. However, this thought convinces us that we cannot achieve a certain goal or have certain experiences. It is a limit that we place on ourselves, condemning us to remain in our comfort zone, where we are not happy but we limit ourselves only to surviving.
The curious aspect is that generally this thought is not ours, but we have introjected it from our parents, teachers or directly from society. For example, if we think that to start a business we need an important initial capital, we will never carry on our idea. The main problem is that this thought blocks us, so we will not even look for alternative solutions to make our dream or project come true.
Likewise, if we subconsciously think that we are not worthy of being loved or esteemed, we will sabotage all our relationships, because it is easier to fixate ourselves in the signals that confirm our beliefs than in those that deny them.
The thought of denial is so strong that it turns into a sort of "psychological disability" that condemns us to remain in what we know and prevents us from growing.
3. Thinking of subtraction
The last and most common "mental vampire" is the thought of subtraction, although it would be more appropriate to call it the terror of subtraction. This thought comes from the belief that we must always have more, because adding is equivalent to being successful while subtracting is synonymous with failure. However, being mature does not mean adding, but learning to subtract.
The thought of subtraction generates the enormous fear of having less and less, of not being able to add continuously. In this way we run the risk of obsessing over having less than others, being less happy, less loved, having fewer opportunities and, of course, earning less.
The problem is that this kind of thinking keeps us anxious and hyperactive, looking for more and more, even if we don't know exactly what that "more" means. This thought generates the illusion that the meaning of life consists in accumulating, and because we need more and more, we are never satisfied. It is as if we are a hamster running in a wheel that does not stop, until our own speed makes us dizzy.
But to find inner peace and be happy we just need to feel grateful for what we have, this does not mean that we do not have to set new goals, but that we give ourselves permission to be happy here and now, as we head towards the goal that we have. we want to achieve.
Change frequency and tune in to new thoughts
Everyone, sooner or later, is the victim of these anxious and negative thoughts that become obstacles to our development. We can consider them as the frequency of a radio. When you listen to a station you don't like, you just have to change the frequency. The same is true for negative thoughts that drain our mental energy.
In their place you can put more realistic thoughts, which will help you reach your goals, set new goals or just be a little happier. In fact, they don't even necessarily have to be "positive thoughts", it would be better to call them "developer thoughts". Of course, it is not enough to repeat positive mantras because we cannot fool the mind in such a gross way.
First of all it is necessary to start a process of self-discovery that allows you to understand what the origin of those thoughts is, what are the misconceptions that underlie and feed them. When you realize that these beliefs aren't adaptive, don't make you happy, and have no reason to be, your new positive thoughts will become your reality.