There are no good lies and no bad lies, but among the different lies the ones we tell ourselves are certainly among the worst.
"If you want to be successful you have to abide by only one rule: never lie to yourself."
Have you ever wondered how many lies they tell us on average in a day? 3, 10, 20? According to social psychologist Jerald Jellison of the University of Southern California, the average individual is telling 200 lies a day. From the most recent studies by Prof. Robert Feldman, of the University of Massachusetts, it emerges instead that approximately 2-3 lies are told in the course of a chat of only 10 minutes.
In a previous post I told you about 10 best clues to expose these licensed liars. Among them, however, there is a particularly sneaky one and none of the strategies seen so far will help you catch it with your hands in the jam. This shady guy is so good he's been fooling you for years now. Who knows, maybe you know him. I'll give you a clue: you meet him every morning in the mirror as soon as you wake up.
Among the lies we tell ourselves, the lies we tell ourselves they have something paradoxical. Almost all of us do it, we do it almost every day. We lie in a thousand different ways, but at the basis of all these self-balks there are two very specific reasons:
- We don't want to face reality. In this first case "we lie knowing we lie", in other words we invent excuses that justify our lack of commitment and the consequent failures. We continue to make promises that we regularly fail, disappointing ourselves and others. Procrastination and a shaky willpower find their favorite humus in this soil.
- We do not know the reality. In this second case "we lie not knowing we lie". We have become so used to the lies that that little voice that buzzes in our heads tells us every day that we can no longer distinguish our limiting beliefs from reality. These kinds of lies are even more dangerous than the first ones, because they undermine our self-esteem.
In today's article I would like to list the 3 lies we tell ourselves most often. I hope that seeing them written in black and white will help you become aware of them. Here are the self-bales that our alter ego “Luigino Siprendeperilculino” tells himself every day.
Lie # 1: about happiness
"If only __________, my life would be great."
We are deeply convinced that our life would be heaven on earth if only ... we had more money, a perfect body, more friends, a great partner, more freedom, a better job, etc. We are so focused on this ideal and idealized future that we forget to live in the present, the journey we are taking, the loving.
Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having goals and ambitions for our future: the desire to progress is deeply rooted in our DNA and underlies our advantage as an animal species. The lie is believing that we will only be happy when these conditions are met. This lie that we repeat to ourselves every day condemns us to a perpetual sense of frustration and, ironically, is of no help to us in realizing that long-awaited future.
“Success is not the key to being happy. Being happy is the key to success ”.
Start enjoying the journey, the taste of the challenge. Who knows, maybe once you get to the top you will look back and understand that the summit itself is not really that important, that what really matters is who have you become to get up there.
Lie # 2: about time
"If I had more time, I could finally ___________."
Do you know what the difference in minutes is between our day and that of a person who has managed to achieve the goals we aspire to? ZEROnisba nada.
On average we spend every day 4 hours and 34 meters in front of the TV (Eurispes data), 1 hour and 22 minutes surfing the internet (Audiweb data) and the rest of the time sending messages on Whatsapp! Keeping telling the lie that we fail to practice our good intentions because we don't have enough time is like blaming gravity if we're out of shape.
Time is not lacking. What we really lack is Finnish sisu, or that unshakable will to carry out what we promised ourselves, whatever the cost.
Hey, no one here says you can't (or shouldn't) relax, but there's a big difference between wasting time before you've completed your schedule and enjoying a well-deserved rest after going through your day like a true warrior. The quality of a rest without remorse is unmatched. Think about it next time you're typing www.Face…
Lie # 3: about procrastination
This bale is spectacular. Try to imagine the scene: you woke up badly (and late), during the day you are listless and carrying out your projects is terribly tiring. You have the impression that everything is in vain and that the day is now "marked". At a certain point a sweet and warm retro-thought creeps into your mind, slowly takes shape, you already begin to feel the guilt melting like frost under the rays of the shy winter sun.
Did you decide! Today is a day to throw away, we might as well surrender toeffect who cares. You already feel lighter and then you pronounce the fateful words: "The world falls, starting tomorrow seriously!"
... the famous "tomorrow" arrives and nothing has changed, except for our nose which has lengthened by a couple of cm ;-)
"If you are not living your dreams today, it is because yesterday you decided to postpone it until tomorrow."
Between the pages of Start! the anti-delay guide, I speak extensively of self-deception and the other "refined" mental mechanisms deployed by serial procrastinators. In this article, however, I would like to ask you a simple question: if you are unable to start right now, what makes you believe that tomorrow will be better?
Are you really so naïve as to think that tomorrow will be a perfect day, that you will finally be motivated and full of energy? The truth is that neither you nor I know how we will wake up tomorrow or what urgencies we will have to face. Stop telling yourself the tale of "starting tomorrow" and instead try to understand what is blocking you today, at this very moment: observe this emotion, look it straight in the eye and then ... take action.
Prove to yourself and the world how much you are worth. Show that you are dictating the rules and not tiredness, demotivation, frustration. You are infinitely more powerful than your thoughts and emotions.
You are stronger than that little voice
"You are infinitely more powerful than your thoughts and emotions."
Do you know what these three lies that we tell each other every day and the other dozens of lies that we repeat to ourselves like a broken record have in common? Our inner dialogue. That little voice that buzzes in our heads and that accompanies us from morning to night is often our worst enemy. An enemy so powerful as to be able to question the trust we have in us.