Talking about sex: why is it so difficult?

Talking about sex: why is it so difficult?

Talking about sex can be complicated for many, but have you ever stopped to think about the consequences of not doing it and not being able to express your doubts about it?

Talking about sex: why is it so difficult?

Last update: February 18, 2022

Sex is an important aspect in our life. We are constantly surrounded by elements that remind us of him: advertising, music, series, films, magazines ... However, contrary to what one might expect, talking about sex is still very complicated for most of us.



Despite all the social advances in recent decades, sex still remains a taboo. Whether it is with your partner, with friends or family, opening up to other people and talking about them can make us feel very uncomfortable.

The simplest explanation for this phenomenon is that when we talk about sex many times we share very intimate aspects of our being, elements that are still censored or considered inconvenient by society. And this, logically, generates reluctance.

Reasons why it is difficult to talk about sex

In the following lines, we examine the main reasons why conversing with others on this topic is often difficult. The aim is to be able to talk more openly about sex when you want to.

1- Fear of being considered different

For many people, the main reason why it is difficult to talk about sex is because they have certain irrational ideas about it. The most common is believe that others will judge or reject them.

This idea stems from the belief that there is only one right way to enjoy sexuality; due to certain social pressures, we think we need to have sex in a specific and socially enforced way.


Anything outside of accepted sexual practice is seen as wrong or weird. However, the reality is that there are as many ways to enjoy sex as there are people who do. Therefore, there is really no single way to express our sexuality.

Most of us have at times felt different from others in some areas of sexuality. Although some people perform less common practices, no act involving consensual sex between two adults should be considered negative.

To be able to talk about sex without discomfort, first of all we have to accept what makes us different; in general, if we can open up, we will feel relieved and more satisfied because we will have the opportunity to express our thoughts and feelings.

2- Fear of rejection

This fear is one of the main reasons why we often avoid talking about sex with our partner: having intercourse with another person can make us feel very vulnerable.

In general, we are particularly concerned about being rejected in intimacy. This fear leads to not talking to the partner about what they like or want.

And the problem of acting in this way is obvious: if we don't communicate with the partner, it is practically impossible to be satisfied with sexual intercourse.

If we want to fully enjoy sex, we will have to learn to open up to the sexual partner and be honest about tastes, preferences and expectations.

On the other hand, the level of vulnerability that the sexual situation brings with it can be high for some people. In this regard, practical advice could be proceed in small steps before reaching sexual contact.

For example, you could start by making a wish that has not yet been discussed with your partner, but that you are able to share without hesitation.


If we perceive a positive reaction, we will be able to cultivate the trust necessary to express ourselves more and more openly.

In this sense, talking about sex with the other person can serve as a means to generate more trust within the couple, so that this openness to the sexual question performs a double function.

3- Believe that it is not necessary to talk about the subject

Finally, some people find it pointless to talk about sex. This irrational belief leads us to think that all of us should know by nature what our partner likes.

On that basis, it is feared that asking can be seen as a clue that we were not up to the task.

This way of thinking is as harmful as it is false. The truth is that sexual pleasure is very complex and every person is different. It is impossible to know in advance what each individual likes.

Therefore, communicating with your partner is essential to fully enjoy of relationships. Only in this way can one know what the other person wants and expects.

This, of course, should be a mutual effort: we cannot fully know the other person's tastes without asking nor should he try to guess ours.


Until you are able to talk about sex with your partner, it will be very difficult for you to feel completely comfortable sexually. Each will, in fact, hold an erroneous belief about the other which will lead to acting incorrectly.

Not talking about sex has negative consequences

You are now aware of the negative consequences of closing down on conversations about sex and sharing your doubts about it.

We therefore invite you to get rid of your complexes and share what you feel with others e think about this topic.

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