Last update: January 08, 2017
When you stop blaming the boulder that hinders your path, you will learn to walk, in the words of a Spanish poet, Sara Bueno.
Do you feel identified? Maybe something has happened to you that you can't help but think about and you don't know how to get out of that vicious circle you find yourself in. As if all your forces were concentrated on that huge boulder.
When something in our life is not going our way, the frightening shadow of guilt can appear in two different ways. On the one hand, self-blame: we make the weight of the consequences of that obstacle fall on ourselves. On the other hand, the shift of responsibility towards the outside: towards other people or towards the problem itself.
Today we will talk about this last case, even if it is good to remember that none of the manifestations of guilt allow us to continue walking and, therefore, to advance on our path.
Looking for the culprits won't help you
Life is never as benevolent as we would like it to be: things will always happen that will seem unfair to us, that we believe we do not deserve and that we did not expect. For this reason, it is natural for the sense of guilt to appear frequently.
"Almost all the unhappiness in life is caused by the tendency to blame another person."
In fact, when a boulder makes its appearance along our path, we tend to curse that huge stone that prevents us from moving forward or the person who put it there in the middle. The choice of blame someone it's simpler than looking beyond the boulder, looking for a solution.
We waste time feeling that we are at the mercy of that boulder, instead of looking for a way to move it out of our path. This is what we want to tell you: seeking guilty will not help you. He will not erase the damage that has now occurred, but, on the contrary, he will tighten even more the blindfold that prevents you from seeing.
Focus on the problem and analyze the situation thoroughly
Even if you truly believe there is a culprit, identifying him will not tell you which path you need to walk in order not to get stuck there. To learn from that experience and find a way out, you don't have to focus on the boulder, but on how it got there.
"In my opinion, the important thing is not to blame someone for a mistake, but to find out what caused that mistake."
Try to focus on what is happening to you, be courageous and deeply analyze that wound: only in this way will you be able to discover how to leave it behind. You are stronger than that boulder and your life has the potential to be far more intense than any obstacles that try to limit it.
There is something behind it that you cannot see right now, because there are too many monsters around you that are stalking you and pushing you to go back. Behind the act of blaming, there is a truth that you do not have the courage to recognize. But, if you want to move on, you have no other options.
If you are breathing, you still have time
Let it rain on you, open your eyes, dissolve all emotional ties: if you are breathing, you still have time. It is just one more boulder in the journey of life, one more experience, a new learning opportunity.
The route necessarily involves falls: some have a proper name and others do not. Sometimes we fall because we had to learn something, and maybe that was the only way to learn it. Indeed, not all faces of obstacles are negative! There is often a hidden face, which turns them into excellent teachers.
The important thing is to understand what that boulder means to us and, above all, to avoid loading it on our backs for years and years. It is a completely useless waste of strength. Resisting it will only increase your discomfort, and that's not what you want.
Our feet have traveled many roads and the sole of our shoes bears the marks of the kilometers we have traveled, but in the heart there is no room for all of this. We need a filter that lets through what brings us something and that keeps away what takes up space, wastes energy and only hurts us.