I find myself guilty. Sometimes I'm not there for anyone because I need to be with myself. There are those who confuse this choice of mine with selfishness and get angry, the most intelligent understand and respect this because sometimes they too have needed to disconnect from the world.
There are times when we simply cannot keep up with the pace that society tries to impose on us and it is necessary to move away to regenerate or simply take a break. Even if we are not fully aware of it, the obligation to always be connected and available generates a tension that can become the straw that breaks the camel's back. That is why it is sometimes necessary to close the doors to the world and take some time to be alone.
The risks of relegating ourselves to the background
Many times we end up relegating ourselves to the background, setting aside to prioritize other people or activities. As a result, we end up getting lost in the daily hustle and bustle. We postpone the necessary rest and disconnection to resolve small emergencies, respond to messages and maintain relationships.
The problem is that if we keep putting ourselves in the background, we will end up disconnecting from ourselves or, even worse, getting sick. In fact, we must remember that in order to take care of others we must first take care of ourselves. To enjoy the presence of others first of all we must be able to enjoy our company.
Living in such a competitive and hyper-connected society forces us to focus excessively on the small urgencies of life or to satisfy the needs of others, ending up forgetting our own.
At that point we begin to experience some changes, the first warning signs that we are about to reach the limit:
- Constant fatigue. It is an extreme tiredness from which we cannot recover even by resting because it is the product of the tension and stress accumulated over a long period of time.
- Frustration. When we give too much of ourselves, somewhere within us we know that we need to disconnect, but as we fail, we can begin to experience great frustration. It is as if we feel trapped in a chasm from which we do not know how to get out.
- Irritability and impatience. Everything bothers us, even the small stimuli that previously went unnoticed, because our senses are hyper-stimulated and our nervous system is at the limit, so it reacts in an exaggerated way to the environment.
- Loss of meaning. There is a point where we can begin to think that nothing makes sense anymore, the things we used to like lose their attractiveness and we become apathetic and disinterested, as if we were living on autopilot. This is because we have sunk into our responsibilities by neglecting the more hedonistic part of life.
The interesting part is that living in a hyper-demanding and stimulating environment ends up acting like a narcotic that makes us insensitive to our needs. That's why sometimes we just have to stop.
5 good reasons to spend time alone with us genders
1. Recharge the batteries. Time alone helps us release the tension that others place on our shoulders. Basically, it is an opportunity to restore emotional balance and recharge the batteries. It is no coincidence that a study conducted at the University of Illinois found that people who felt comfortable on their own and were concerned about defending these spaces were less likely to suffer from depression, reported fewer physical ailments, and displayed a greater satisfaction in life.
2. Restore self-control. The ability to resist temptation, make good decisions, and control our behavior largely depends on self-control. However, it has been shown that self-regulation is not an infinite capacity but progressively decreases throughout the day as we make use of it. A study conducted at Northwestern University found that our self-control is particularly sensitive to complex and demanding interpersonal relationships. Therefore, being alone helps us regain this ability and the emotional control of our reactions.
3. Allows the brain to recover. Being alone is essential for the brain as we allow it to "disconnect". In fact, a study conducted at the Research Center for Regenerative Therapies in Dresden found that silence helps regenerate neurons. The point is that when we are alone and in silence, what is called the “default neural network” is activated, which facilitates rest for those areas of the brain that we use the most when we are connected. This allows us to clarify our ideas, focus and think more clearly. Away from everyday distractions we can think better.
4. It allows us to connect intimately with our "I". Surrounded by too many stimuli it is difficult to connect to our essence. Time alone allows us to rediscover ourselves and listen to our inner voice. These moments are extremely precious because they represent a pause in life to take care of the "child" within us, to know how he is and what he wants.
5. Improve interpersonal relationships. It may seem like a contradiction, but spending time alone allows us to be more relaxed and focused, this will be positively reflected in interpersonal relationships. We will be able to cope better with everyday problems without getting upset and we will enjoy the presence of others much more.
How to regain control?
When you feel that the world is spinning too fast, it is time to stop. If you feel that the pressure of those around you is excessive and prevents you from being yourself, stop and rearrange your priorities.
Others are likely to need you, but to help them you need to strengthen yourself and that means disconnecting and resting. Reschedule your daily routine and eliminate all those little "urgencies" that take up all your time and energy unnecessarily.
It is important that you pursue your goals, but without stressing yourself too much. And if necessary, take a few hours, or a full day, to be alone with yourself. It is not selfishness, it is a necessity. You don't have to be there for anyone, because in that moment you need yourself.
Disconnect and only worry about your mental health. Learn to put yourself on your priority list.