Sexual wisdom has nothing to do with our ability as lovers. It is linked to generosity, honesty and intelligence that break down prejudices, fears and stereotypes.
Last update: July 21, 2022
We live in a seemingly modern society which, however, treats sex in a distorted way. Just think of the power of the porn industry, which almost serves as the primary and only source of education in this industry for our young people. The same is true of the eternal taboos that exist in many minds. The world needs to develop adequate sexual wisdom.
We refer to that kind of intelligence that starts from respect for the other, from honesty and from knowledge. Because in an area that we label as “natural” and that everyone discovers in his own way, there is still an excess of prejudices, false myths and dangerous concepts.
We forget that the most important organ in any sexual encounter is the brain. We overlook the fact that prejudices and insecurities limit the opportunity to have a fulfilling sex life. And also that without respect for the other this act cannot have a place or meaning.
Being sexually wise takes time and willpower. Above all, it pushes us to go beyond stereotypes, some religious beliefs and even online pages for adults.
In a society that sends us such contradictory messages on this subject, we are obliged to develop adequate skills.
Great lovers are made, not born.
According to a study by the University of Minnesota, much of the population between the ages of 60 and 80 displays what experts call sexual wisdom. This skill goes beyond lover skills; it has more to do with generosity and good communication.
This helps us to become aware of two fundamental aspects. The first is that sexuality in old age is just as fulfilling and rewarding as it can be in youth.
The second concerns the importance of dismantling another myth: you are not born good lovers, you become one over the years thanks to experience.
Sexual wisdom is related to three specific areas: to be objective and sensitive connoisseurs of sexuality, to have a good knowledge of oneself and, finally, to be in tune with the partner.
Finding true satisfaction in this area, therefore, requires a holistic approach. It's about learning, working on yourself, and creating good intimacy with your sexual partner.
Sexual wisdom goes beyond sex education. It is not just about knowing how to avoid sexually transmitted diseases, it means understanding which elements favor pleasant experiences as a couple, knowing how to communicate, demystify false ideas and abandon selfishness.
Objective and demystified knowledge about sexuality
It is perfectly fine for teens to be taught in school what sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are and how to prevent them. It is also good to provide them with information on how to avoid unwanted pregnancy.
These notions, while decisive, have little to do with sexual wisdom. True knowledge in this area depends on the following:
- Know that we have the right to freely enjoy our own sexuality, whatever it is. Without anyone submitting or forcing. We are the owners of our body and each of us decides what we want or not at any given moment.
- We have the right to know our body without shame. Also to live relationships without fear, without feeling limited by insecurities.
- Sexual wisdom it also means acquiring knowledge about sexual practices in order to dispel myths and prejudices. It is not bad to inquire about it as long as you do it in a respectful way.
Sexual wisdom and self-awareness
Each of us has a sexual imprint, so to speak. Discovering it, knowing what you like, what stimulates your own fantasies and needs facilitates the relationship with others.
In light of this, it is important to “discover yourself” in order to enjoy a more enjoyable sex life; likewise, it is important to establish your own red flags. We refer to what you don't like, what annoys you and what is not in tune with your desires.
Many times past experiences come into play, which can be fulfilling or, conversely, traumatic. Learn from what they lived e understanding what you want is essential to achieving adequate sexual wisdom.
Connection, the game of intimacy
We could say that the most powerful ingredient in sexual wisdom is intimacy. It is the bond that brings us closer to the other in an accomplice, free and curious way at the same time. It is the fabric that starts from genuine respect, added to the expressed desire to connect with that person in all possible ways.
It is fostering an emotional, mental and sexual approach, knowing what the other person wants, what they need and what they like. Being sexually wise also implies putting aside selfishness, taking care of the other person's pleasure.
Likewise, and no less important, a pillar that underpins sexual intelligence is communication. Knowing how to communicate without shame and without fear, open up emotionally, reveal desires and thoughts, nourishes the game of sexuality, but also of love.
We should all specialize in this precious art which is not learned in school, which is almost always veiled in our society and which can only be acquired with experience, responsibility and adequate emotional maturity.