Self-Esteem: Is It Really the Key to Success and Wellbeing?

    Self-Esteem: Is It Really the Key to Success and Wellbeing?

    For decades, psychologists and others
    guru of Psychology
    Positive they spurred people to develop their own esteem stating that without this it is
    impossible to be successful. However, the reality is quite different, because they exist
    people who have enormous self-esteem but never reach their goals e
    others who do not like themselves very much but who are successful. Why it happens
    this?


    A few years ago Joanne Wood,
    psychology professor at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, he decided
    to prove that positive affirmations to boost self-esteem were not
    very effective. Thus, he brought together a group of people, some with low
    self-esteem and others with high self-esteem, asking them to repeat positive phrases
    with respect to their personal worth. Eventually, people with a high
    self-esteem reported feeling more cheerful and willing to deal with
    life problems, but the positive recommendations had an effect
    contrary in those who had low self-esteem; in fact, these reported of
    feeling worse than before. This is probably due to the fact that the
    positive affirmations continually remind you of the distance still to go,
    thus highlighting the failures and being discouraging. Likewise, it has been shown that too
    those who have too high self-esteem are not particularly happy and tend to
    show more racist and violent attitudes than the rest of the people. The basic mechanism So if low self-esteem can't
    eliminate with simple sentences and it does not affect the results, what is it for?
    Jonathan D. Brown, a social psychologist at the University, intervenes to help us
    of Washington, which has pondered the issue for many years. Brown considers that we all have a
    basic level of self-esteem that develops in childhood from interaction
    with parents. So, instead of respect or admiration for ourselves,
    he defines self-esteem as a form of affection. That is, people with a healthy one
    self-esteem they perceive themselves positively and also accept themselves in front of them
    to bankruptcy. Conversely, those with low self-esteem sink even further
    in case of bankruptcy. This researcher considers that self-esteem
    it is protected by a sort of "safety net", which is formed starting from
    family relationships at an early age. This safety net allows us to
    keep us afloat even when we fail, but there are people who fail
    to develop it, given that during their childhood they were constantly denigrated,
    in these cases, low self-esteem develops. Of course, whoever has a healthy one
    self-esteem manages to face unfavorable situations with more serenity than
    cause tension. Do you want to be happy? Forget self-esteem! Roy Baumaister, professor at the University
    State of Florida and one of the pioneers in research into the value of self-esteem,
    he saw himself "forced" to make a radical change in his own theory a
    starting from the 80s. It was around this time that the psychologist made one
    meta-analysis with which we tried to relate self-esteem with i
    external markers of success in school, at work and in social relationships,
    and found that there was no evidence that high self-esteem helped them
    people to be better students, better workers, or healthier people.
    Thus, Baumaister himself recommends: “forget yourselves
    self-esteem and focus more on self-control and self-discipline ”. Obviously, beyond this advice and
    regardless of whether self-esteem helps us more or less to realize ours
    goals, it is certain that not loving ourselves will not allow us to live one
    particularly happy life. For this it is best to learn to deal with these
    feelings of inferiority. Fortunately, many researchers have
    realized that there is a more effective way to manage low self-esteem than
    consists in not playing his game. That is, the majority of people with
    low self-esteem is unable to attribute to himself his own successes and tries
    continually of reasons to justify them. Either way, this is one
    behavior pattern that can be changed simply by learning to be
    goals. Each of us makes mistakes but
    it also collects successes, and both the one and the other are ours
    responsibility. Finally, people with low self-esteem should learn
    to congratulate on one's achievements, this would break the circle
    vicious that they created around them. Another excellent piece of advice is that
    to focus on the really important aspects of life and stop
    worrying about unimportant details, this will reduce the
    areas of action in which you do not have particular aptitudes. Finally, we always remember to treat
    ourselves as we would treat a small child, honestly complaining
    to allow us to grow but at the same time rewarding us for all this
    that we do well.
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