In this article we will see what the resistance to change, because it is so frequent and 3 practical tips to leave it behind.
I'd like to start by telling you one history.
The protagonist of this story is a elderly gentleman from the Marches who frequented (and I hope still frequent) the Bar near the bus station of Yes, the town where I spent my high school years.
What was special about this gentleman, whom for greater convenience we will call Franco?
Franco was the emblem of the fidelity.
Every morning, at 7:45 sharp, when my bus arrived from Filottrano, Franco was there at the bar, always in the same place.
In high school, every day was something new: an unexpected question, a near-adolescent tragedy, a note from your beloved. In short, at the time we had few certainties... except one: we knew that we would find Franco sitting there, at the table in the right corner of the bar, when we got off the bus.
… Until one day the club didn't changed management.
It was then that Franco began to become the protagonist of foreign episodes.
During the works, when the bar was closed, it continued to go for weeks on pilgrimage to the bus station, pausing for a while in front of the lowered shutters, dumbfounded and suspicious, as if to check if it were true that one could not actually enter.
But the best was yet to come.
When the place reopened, with different furnishings and managers, the matter became even more unusual.
Franco went as far as the sidewalk, stopped in front of the Bar, a few steps from the new, polished sign, looked inside, craning his neck and squinting his eyes, then came back, with a very sad expression on his face.
Even today I have no idea if Franco has ever decided to set foot in the new Bar and order that bianchino who invariably kept him company at 7:45 in the morning.
The "Franco" that is inside each of us
"It is not the strongest or the most intelligent species that survive, but the one that adapts best to change."
I wanted to start this article dedicated to resistance to change with the sad story of Franco because, after all, there is a bit of the old “Franco” in each of us.
By nature, in many contexts of our life, while outside the world is constantly changing "management", we often remain on the sidewalk, undecided about what to do.
We remain halfway between a situation that has now ended and a new one that raises a thousand doubts.
Sometimes we are ourselves the "owners of the Bar" and we feel that the time has come to change "management" (to change work / city / relationships / habits), yet, like old Franco, we prefer to hole up in the table in the right corner of our life.
Have you ever wondered why change is so difficult? All the more so when we are perfectly aware that it is the right thing to do?
If we do not adapt and adopt new behaviors, we will hardly be able to achieve our most ambitious goals.
La resistance to change it is therefore obstacle # 1 in the path to life that we have always wanted.
Time to understand why change is so difficult for us humans and how we can learn to do it… GetPersonalGrowth.
The 3 most common resistances to change
"The only constant in life is change."
To face our enemy, the resistance to change, we must first get to know him.
So let's see what they are 3 main types of resistance to change.
1. The logical-rational resistance
Whenever we decide to change the way we do something there will always be an initial phase in which the new approach will bring us less results than the old method.
I'll give you an example related to the study.
Students who follow GetPersonalGrowth and decide to apply the study method explained in detail in "Study Less, Study Better (Sm2 2.0)"In the first 2-3 weeks they find it harder than usual to study.
This happens because the strategies explained in Sm2 2.0 are different from anything they have tried in their years of study and in the face of this completely new approach their mind requires an inevitable adaptation period.
After this initial phase, however, their university results explode and applying the Sm2 method becomes a second skin.
This often happens in our personal growth path and in general whenever we have to face a change.
Our innate laziness leads us to give much more weight to what is the cost (and the fatigue) of the initial commitment, discounting instead i benefits that we will collect thanks to the new approach in the near future.
In the final part of the article we will see how to overcome this logical-rational resistance, which is not so rational!
2. Emotional resistance
Let's say you manage to overcome the logical-rational resistance, finally realizing that the future benefits are actually worth some immediate sacrifice… yet you continue to get stuck!
Whenever you start thinking about that change you almost feel a physical discomfort, malaise that subsides only after hours of Netflix marathon.
In this case, your resistance to change is natural emotional.
- Maybe you are scared of news and changes.
- Maybe you are a perfectionist and the idea of getting involved makes you anxious.
- Maybe you are a control freak and having to lose it early on in change is out of the question for you.
Also in this case we will see how we can calm the emotional resistance and make those changes we have always wanted.
3. Social resistance
Finally we have what is defined social resistance.
In this case, it is not ours to put a spoke in the wheel mind, nor ours heart, but the others people.
Every change in our life is like a stone falling into a pond and causing interference on the water surface.
In short, when we decide to change something, the "fish" in our pond (family, friends, colleagues, etc.) become agitated and if we are particularly sensitive to judgment of others we tend to block and stifle change in the bud.
The strategies at the end of the article will allow you to deal with this last type of resistance as well.
Before seeing them, however, let's try to better understand why, by nature, we are so allergic to change!
Because resistance to change is written in our genes
The fault, once again, lies with our ancestors and our physiology.
Evolution has always led us to find the most suitable solutions:
- to the survival,
- al as little energy waste as possible.
Scientifically we speak of homeostasis.
Omeoche?!? No, no Andre ', we are not there: Prof. Burioni said that homeopathy is useless!
Homeostasis (which should not be confused with homeopathy :-D) is the technical term that indicates the condition of internal stability of a system, which tends to keep even in the event of external disturbances.
In order to return to its precious point of balance and not waste further energy, the system will implement a whole series of precautions.
"All the vital mechanisms, however varied, have nothing but a constant aim: that of maintaining the unity of the living conditions of the internal environment."
Homeostasis in our body
It is thanks tohomeostasis if our body temperature remains (generally) in a very stable range, regardless of the external climatic conditions.
The same goes for other chemical-physical factors related to our body such as the Ph of the blood or volume of internal liquids.
In short, if our body did not continually regulate itself looking for balance we would all be dead dead.
And our mind also tends to respect this principle of "rebalancing" ...
Homeostasis in our mind
As you well know, the separation between mind and body is purely fictitious, the truth is that they are one that continually influences and conditions each other.
And so when our body continually tries to restore the initial conditions to each environmental change, inevitably our mind also tends to follow its example.
It is therefore no coincidence that we shy away from change and love stability.
In fact, each hypothesis of change corresponds to one equal and opposite thrust by our psycho-physical system to bring us back to the equilibrium of what is known.
And the greater the transformation we meditate, the greater our internal resistance will be, resistance that will manifest itself mentally and emotionally in the form of:
- difficulty concentrating,
- lack of energy and so on and so forth!
So Andre 'are you telling me that change is against nature ?! Ah ... okay then: I don't even try!
Understanding the origin of our natural resistance to change does not mean giving in to the fact that change has to be tiring or even impossible.
Now that we know our "enemy", we can draw the most suitable weapons to counter him.
Here are 3 strategies to overcome resistance to change.
3 practical tips to overcome resistance to change
Let's look at 3 unorthodox techniques to trigger change in our life and beat our resistance to change.
1. The "Franco" technique
Do you remember our friend Franco? The old man from the Marches who went to the bar at the bus station every morning?
Here, even if it may seem counter-intuitive, imitating it will help you beat your allergy to change.
Let me explain ...
Try to repeat exactly the same IDENTICAL shares for at least a week.
And when I say identical, I mean exactly identical ...
- If you go out for one on Monday jog in the park listening to a certain playlist, repeat the same path also on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, etc. listening to the same playlist.
- If you eat there for lunch pasta with tomato sauce, eat the same pasta with the same seasoning every single day.
- If in the evening before bedtime read a novel, reread the same pages every evening of the "French" week.
In short, you have caught the hint.
The first secret to overcoming your natural resistance to change is to take it to the extreme.
I can assure you that after a few days of this obsessive repetition there will be no cell in your body that will not beg to change something in your life.
... and it will be in that precise moment that you you will introduce positive change in your life and not only will you introduce it, but you will savor every moment of this newfound freedom.
2. The "Poe" Method
At school or for personal pleasure you will surely have read a few pages of that extraordinary talent of the horror narrative wich was Edgar Allan Poe.
The Poe Method is so named in his honor, as it will immerse you in one ... scenario horror!
Are you ready?
As soon as you finish this article, write down, in great detail, what yours will be like life (nightmare) in 5 years, if you were to continue living your days as you are living them in this exact moment, without abandoning those bad habits you know well and without introducing those good habits that you know well.
Please, abound with details, dramatizing this future vision of yours where necessary.
Unlike what the para-gurus of cosmic vibrations tell you, sometimes negative views are far more effective than positive ones.
In fact, our mind tends to confuse views and reality, and if the positive ones tend to make us sit on our laurels, the negative ones give us just enough spice to the c * lo necessary to initiate that change that we have been putting off for too long.
3. The "keystone" habit
Thanks to the previous techniques we have seen how to make the change desirable e irresistible; at this point, however, a question may have crept into your mind:
"But where the heck do I start this change ?!"
Changing for the sake of change makes no sense, but it could actually be counterproductive.
For the change to be effective it must respect two key elements:
- It has to be about a habit. Only by changing something that we repeat every day will something in our life really change.
- It must be about a habit ... "special". Not all habits have the same weight, there are habits that once acquired move us little or nothing and others instead that trigger a domino effect capable of revolutionizing our entire life.
... among the latter there is an even more "special" one: the "keystone" habit.
Like that cornerstone that alone makes a bow solid and resistant, the “keystone” habit is able to sustain and fuel our personal revolution.
The key habit is a very specific and personal action: each of us in fact has an extremely peculiar "keystone" habit of his.
To be clear, a "keystone" habit is not a generic one: "get up early in the morning", "eat healthy", etc .. These are all excellent habits, but too vague to motivate and support us in the change.
No, the "keystone" habit is something that each of us must identify for ourselves and it could be as specific as… "listening to Al Pacino's motivational speech in the locker room of the football team as soon as I finish brushing my teeth in the morning ”(It's just a nice example ;-)).