Last update: January 27, 2017
I don't understand how it happened. I can't believe I'm gone. How can this be over if I feel it was what life gave me? These may be some of your thoughts if you consider the endings as an obstacle that prevents you from imagining a new beginning.
If similar ideas are running through your head, it means that you are still living in the past and that you have not been able to overcome it. It may be a story that is over, but which for you continues to be pending or a city where you have now had all the possible experiences and that you have to leave ... But you don't have the courage to accept it.
Yet, the endings are nothing more than tangible proof that that experience will always remain linked to a part of us. They imply a farewell, of course; but they also mean that we have experienced something that no one can take away from us, because it belongs to us.
The endings are also new beginnings
In this moment you live in an agitated confusion, in a suspended condition between the reality that haunts you and the one that, instead, you would like to live. It is completely natural and you do not have to be ashamed: we have all felt at times the sensation of seeing what we wanted to remain with us slip from our hands.
"It may seem strange that a story begins at the end, but all endings are also beginnings, the problem is that at that moment we don't realize it."
However, when the endings are knocking on our door and we've already been through a period of extreme confusion, it's time to get busy. We need to get our feet on the ground, start healing what's broken, and start over again.
If there is an end, why not start there? We must find the positive aspects of what we have received from what can no longer continue. It is not a question of starting your life from scratch, but of continuing our story with the maturity acquired from previous experience.
After a full stop, there is a capital letter
The ellipsis that try to replace the period and the end are not healthy for anyone, without exception. If there is something that can no longer go on or if it is time to pack up and leave, it does not do us good to continue denying it and hurting ourselves.
There are new stories to imagine and that await us and they are stories that must begin with a large capital letter. Only in this way will we be able to see ourselves reflected in a mirror that reminds us that after losing a lot - and after being lost - we can find ourselves again.
As the poet Julio Cortázar said, there is nothing lost if we have the courage to declare that everything is lost. Surrender, therefore, cannot be an option when we are about to take the decisive step to close the door of a house that can no longer welcome us behind us.
"Don't keep observing the end of the old roads,
the beginnings often stay where you left them. "
Understanding starts with change
It will be hard, it will be weird and you will need a lot of courage and effort, but you are able to do it. And just as you begin to be aware of it and feel different, a landscape of new opportunities will emerge before you.
Little by little you will begin to understand, and only when you have fully understood what has happened will peace come. Concluding, accepting and going through a wound healing process will lead you to well-being and, at the same time, improve your relationship with others.
"Being at peace with yourself is the surest way to start being at peace with others."
-Fray Luis de León-
With that in mind, can we remember our endings? Sure, but we can't continue living inside them. They no longer exist, they are just memories that are filtered and placed in a drawer. This is the time to imagine a new beginning, to live in today and empower all it has to offer.