Time passes quickly. Too fast. You have to make the most of it to strengthen your relationship with your children
Last update: 12 November 2018
Part of parenting is to guide children and help them cope with the daily routine. This often means setting limits, correcting their behavior, telling them a few "no" and also what they have to do, with no options. But the relationship with children it is much more than that.
Raising your children is much more than leading them on the path deemed correct. Creating positive interactions with them not only allows you to better educate them, even from an emotional point of view, it also makes this educational task easier.
You have no doubt heard or read that it is very important to hug your children. Psychologist Virginia Satir states that you need four hugs a day to survive, eight hugs a day for stay as we are, twelve hugs a day to grow. And, based on this idea, thousands of guidelines have been written.
But do hugs make up for the bad times we have with our children? Because, let's not fool ourselves, the day is full of bad times with them, of negative interactions that cannot always be avoided or controlled. However, there are also several habits that help improve and strengthen your relationship with your children.
Positive interactions for a healthy relationship with children
We all yearn for intimate moments with our children, during which hearts melt. Connection is as essential for parents as it is for children. When our relationship is strong, it's also sweet. This is what makes any sacrifice in the education and rearing of children more bearable.
This connection is the only reason children voluntarily follow our rules. Children who feel strongly connected with their parents want to cooperate. When they feel understood and supported, they are more motivated to follow what their parents advise them.
Being a parent isn't easy. It never was, but in our age, far from improving, it has become even more complicated. We know we have to dedicate time to our children, to have quality moments. But, does this make up for everything else? Well yes, it can.
Science shows us that we need at least five positive interactions for each negative interaction in order to maintain a healthy and happy relationship that can withstand the conflicts and normal problems of everyday life. It is when we lack positive interactions that we lose our balance.
And when the balance is broken, our children desist from following our advice and accepting the standards we set. When you lose thebalance, the attitude of our children changes.
But how can we find time to have these positive interactions with our children that serve to restore balance? Just adopt a few simple habits.
Habits that strengthen the relationship with children
There are several strategies you can use to strengthen your relationship with your children. For positive interactions to be effective, they will need to be daily. Including them in your routine offers tons of benefits.
The best part is that not only can you make up for bad times, but your day will also be better. Focusing on the positive interactions, the negative ones they will have less space. Also, by adopting habits like these, children will cooperate more, fight less, and strive to follow their parents' advice.
To strengthen the relationship with your children, you need to foment positive interactions every day
1. Carve out a space for yourself and your children every morning. No need to talk, just pamper yourself a little. Hug them and caress them. There is no better way to start the day than with a pleasant awakening.
2. Talk over breakfast. Ask them what they will spend the day, take an interest in what awaits them.
3. Leave cards with messages of love: in the school snack, between the pages of a notebook, on the desk where they study.
4. Singing and / or dancing with the children their favorite songs.
5. Always greet them with a kiss and a hug, wishing them a nice day and reminding them to have fun.
6. Always welcome them with a kiss and a hug, asking if school, or any other activity, went well.
7. Forget about work commitments in the presence of children. This includes calls, emails, social networks and instant messaging.
8. Tantrums are often signs of distress rather than defiance. In these cases, relax and stop what you are doing to help your children. Help them release their anger. Stay with them if they need to cry and let them unload their emotional load. When they are ready, encourage them to talk and listen to them.
9. Encourage them when they face a difficult task. Pay attention to their fears and offer them positive words and nice gestures.
10. Laugh at their jokes, trivial as they may seem. If the jokes are disrespectful or break the rules of coexistence, say in a positive way why they are not good.
11. Show empathy for all children's emotions. You can limit their actions, but not their emotions. All emotions are acceptable. If you recognize how your children are feeling, you strengthen your connection with them and fuel their emotional intelligence.
12 Playing with the children. Let their imaginations fly and follow their instructions. It does the same if it's for a little while. The important thing is that it is a daily habit.
13. Share at least one meal a day with the children. Do not turn on the TV. Instead, liven up the conversation by asking questions that are interesting to your children.
14 Listen with understanding to the stories of their problems at school, especially those involving friends or the person they like. Listening is one of the most important habits to strengthen the relationship with children.
15. Read or sing a song before going to sleepAnd. If they are too old for that, encourage them to read before bed and show interest in the book they are reading.
16 Kiss goodnight. If they need to talk, listen to them. This will help them get to sleep.
17 Make sure they are well before going to sleep. Even if they don't notice, it still strengthens your bond.
“I observe their heads, a little disheveled, sleeping on those pillows… and sadness floods me. Did I savor their smiles and laughter and hug them or did I just follow the list of all my commitments today? They are growing so fast. One morning I will wake up and one of my daughters will get married and I will be assailed by doubts. Have I played with them enough? Did I take the opportunity to be part of their lives? " (Janet Fackrell). Time passes quickly. Too fast. Don't let it pass without enjoying it and strengthen your relationship with your children.