Every couple, sooner or later, finds themselves experiencing a moment of crisis dictated by some difficulties, shortcomings or complications that afflict the relationship. Without beating around the bush, we are referring to relationship problems.
In fact, in this guide we will analyze the couple problems that arise more frequently, and which therefore seriously risk bring both partners to their knees. In addition, for each problem, I will also explain the possible solutions!
Relationship problems and psychology
Psychology teaches us that relationship problems are the direct cause of what is then called "couple crisis". The latter, in fact, never concerns a single event, but a set of problems, situations and factors that have gone on for too long.
In fact, those who find themselves in the midst of "couple problems" can easily notice that, precisely, it is a question of multiple difficulties, misunderstandings or inconveniences. These circumstances, as is normal, afflict the two partners who seem unable to overcome their problems.
However, the important thing is that there is will on the part of both to put aside the difficulties and find a way to find themselves still united and in love. This, essentially, is the only factor that matters to be able to get out of the famous "couple problems".
If there is no desire to heal the relationship and give it all the attention it deserves, it will be very difficult to move out of this "quagmire". What I am trying to tell you is that if either you or your partner are thinking about going two different ways, your problems will just keep going. cast shadow over you.
Consequently, in order to find a winning solution, you must be sure that you want to reach the same goal. The way, then, is found. The path you will have to take will not be easy, which is why we need the maximum of your collaboration.
More frequent relationship problems
As we said a little while ago, when we talk about a couple crisis, or couple problems, we usually refer to more critical issues. On the other hand, if it were a single problem, it would be easier to manage and put it aside.
But when things start to add up, to become many and to create a bad mood after another, here is that the games get complicated and the situation becomes unsustainable. So let's see what are the most frequent couple problems that arise within a love relationship.
Communication problems in the couple
Communication problems are perhaps i worst, since a lack of understanding can lead to many other unpleasant solutions. On the other hand, at the basis of a good relationship, and we are not just talking about love ones, there must be a good communication.
In fact, any relationship (work, family or friendship) risks being compromised if the people who make it up have communication problems.
But what does this mean in practice? Nowadays we often hear about this famous "communication", but sometimes it is difficult to delineate it and really understand what it is about.
In reality, the speech is very simple. First, you need to have empathy. In other words, it is necessary to have the ability to put yourself in your partner's shoes, trying to understand his emotions, his point of view and what he wants to tell us through his words.
This will allow you to see him not as a bitter enemy, but as the person you love and who is trying to relate to you. At the same time, however, it is important to speak clearly and lovingly, avoiding raising the tone where it is not necessary.
But be careful: with this I am not saying that you always have to "give it up" to your partner to avoid arguments. The message I'd like to get to you is that you have to learn to listen to and talk to each other.
When you communicate, there must be positive feelings at the base, otherwise it is impossible for you not to end up arguing or arguing. Your "speech" must reflect your union, while it must not represent a limitation, a problem or a problem.
At the heart of a happy relationship is good communication as a couple. And until you solve this problem, you can rest assured that you won't solve anything else.
Couple problems in bed
Sexuality problems in couples are just as dangerous as those related to communication. And, among other things, as we will see better shortly, they have a lot to do with communication. Sexual couple problems can be traced back to several causes:
- Lack of sexual desire
- Imbalance of the couple in the desire to unite under the sheets
- External factors that pour into intimacy
- Boredom or laziness
- The routine that plays a leading role
As you can see, many other "small" problems can coexist within the sexual problem. However, the good news is that they rarely all occur at the same time. Consequently, you will have to work on one point at a time (hoping that no more will arise later).
Whatever the cause that is causing you problems in your intimate sphere, the only way you can break it down is talk about. Ignoring the problem will not help you overcome the problem, but rather, it will only make it worse by making it more and more evident.
Be accomplices, tell yourself clearly what you are experiencing, what your thoughts are and what in your opinion is the cause that led you to get away under the sheets. The intimate sphere is too important to be left on the sidelines, and if you don't fix things asap, you could really run into bad sorrows.
Relationship problems after a child
This is a situation that occurs quite often in couples who decide to seal their love by giving birth to a small creature. At first it was taken by one enthusiasm phase which leaves little room for anything else, and in this "other" everything that concerns the relationship of the two partners in the strict sense ends up in it.
We talk about attention, moments to devote to each other, moments of intimacy, going out with your friends or leaving for a weekend of relaxation and carefree. On the other hand, a child implies many responsibility, but also many energy e time. As a result, it is quite easy for imbalances to arise within the relationship.
In most cases, relationship problems after a child are due to sharing of responsibilities between the two parents, who are rarely balanced right away. From this moment we begin to emphasize who does more, who is most present, who wakes up the most during the night and so on.
What is created is a gap in which you no longer look at each other as a partner, but as parents, and we "judge" each other for the actions of each other. Furthermore, it is quite common for the arrival of a child to bring some "jealousies”Between the two partners, since all attention is paid to the little one. In other words, it is possible for either partner to feel unwanted, lonely, or sidelined.
Finally, the problems of a couple after a child are often related to one poor sex life or, at worst, even non-existent. There is no time, tiredness is felt, there are more important priorities and so we end up putting the intimate sphere in the background. All this, however, is simply mistaken, and will only continue to bring more relationship problems.
Relationship problems after a betrayal
The betrayal within the couple is able to cause an avalanche of problems which, as it descends towards the valley, becomes more and more out of control. On the other hand, when you have sentimental or sexual experiences outside the couple, an essential aspect for the relationship is missing: the confidence.
In addition to indignation and disappointment, in fact, one feels betrayed by the person in whom he had placed his trust and love: that's why it hurts so much. It might seem trivial, but two people who do not share these aspects will hardly be able to feel so bitter or dejected by a betrayal.
The moment one of the two partners declares (or is discovered) to have had intercourse outside the couple, they cease pillars of the relationship, and you begin to experience sensations such as the following:
- You no longer trust your partner
- You become obsessed whenever you are not together
- The thought of the partner together with another person becomes a torment
- You no longer have sexual desire
- Everything that is said by the partner is questioned
- It is feared that the situation could recur overnight
- One wonders if it is really worthwhile to continue being together
- The betrayed partner could engage in wrong behavior in revenge
In short, it's understandable, isn't it? Anyone, after being betrayed, would find themselves in a similar situation. Consequently, there is not even much reason to be surprised that after a betrayal there are several problems in the relationship.
Boredom, lack of stimulation and laziness
Last but not least, relationship problems can also arise due to a routine that is now abandoned little room for enthusiasm and news. Usually, this problem is said to arise among couples who have been together for many years, but the truth is that it is equally likely to affect "young lovers" as well.
In fact, the difference is not only time, but also and above all the two partners. To get used to to the times, to the places, to the people who frequent each other or even to the moments in which to indulge in the sheets damn easy.
It is a journey that takes place on an unconscious level, and that occurs when you are comfortable within your comfort zone. The latter, however, must not become the poison of the relationship. What we risk, in fact, is to always do the same things, to have little desire to try something different and to no longer be able to stimulate each other.
A similar situation leads the two partners to live as two friends or as two brothers, who slowly begin to "forget" about the passion that once united them. Boredom, in fact, can be deadly for a love affair.
And the worst is that realizing that you are living inside one flat relationship it is really difficult, especially when both partners are involved in this "state of boredom-laziness-habits".
Relationship problems: what to do
After looking at the most common relationship problems, now let's focus on what we can do to overcome them. First you will have to try to understand what the cause is which led to the crisis of the couple.
When did you start drifting apart? What has gone wrong in the last 6 months? What are the reasons why you have found yourself arguing more often? In short, by asking yourself questions like these you will be able to quite easily identify the evil that afflicts you.
To do this correctly you will have to think about it both together and alone, because it is important to confront each other, but also to think about it within oneself. Later, as you might imagine, you will have to talk about it.
Now that you have a clearer idea about your relationship problems, you need to try to talk about them constructively, teaming up. Be transparent in telling yourself what your points of view are, pointing out both the positive aspects and those that you think need to be improved.
Avoid being arrogant or using "ugly tones", because remember that you will be facing each other to find a solution, and not to see who is more right. This is a very delicate phase, as inconsistencies may arise about some aspects of your relationship.
That's why you need to be ready to put yourself in each other's shoes and try to understand your points of view. This will make it much easier find mediation or a compromise that can make you both happy. Finally, to overcome the problems of the couple, you must be willing to give yourself the forgiveness.
Any situation of pain, disappointment or estrangement must be put at the door. Carrying a grudge is expensive, and above all it solves nothing. Consequently, if you want to start writing a new chapter of your book, you must have your soul at peace for what happened in the previous chapters.
Relationship problems: who to contact
Having the willpower to overcome relationship problems is important, but in some cases it may not be enough. We are talking about those relationships in which the path of "let's talk about it, let's confront and analyze" has already been traveled and, unfortunately, has not paid off.
In these cases, therefore, it becomes of fundamental importance to contact a couple therapist, whose job is not to take care of individual partners, but of the couple themselves. Couples therapy is useful for bringing partners together especially from the point of view relational, helping them to communicate in a loving and constructive way.
This is the "basic" path that will have to be faced with the therapist, who thanks to his presence and hers skills, it can help individual partners to feel better within the relationship they are experiencing, with a consequent improvement in the same.