“Why is my ex looking for me? He left me but continues to make himself heard and show a certain interest in me, even though he has clearly told me that he does not want to get back together with me. What to do?"
This is a very frequent situation, which my colleagues at GetPersonalGrowth and I find ourselves facing continuously during the personalized consultations by phone or email that we offer to those with heart problems.
It's very frustrating: every message your ex sends you rekindles hope, but at the same time confuses your ideas even more… what is she really thinking about? What he wants?
In this article I want to explain to you why your ex behaves this way, and I want to give you some tips on what to do when an ex is looking for you.
Great, we're almost ready to go! But first I want to invite you to take a quick online test to see what your chances of winning back are.
Why is my ex looking for me?
If your ex has left you but is looking for you, that is, continues to be heard regularly to find out how you are, or to talk about more or less, take it as a positive sign.
You need to understand that despite the breakup, your ex still has feelings and emotions towards you. Her emotional baggage and her memories of your relationship cannot disappear into thin air, even if she left you.
Some girls, after leaving the ex, make it a point not to contact him again, so as not to give him false hope and not to create further confusion regarding the relationship that has just ended.
Many others instead they do not resist temptation, and even if they tend not to go back with him, they write to him to find out how he is, driven by a mixture of nostalgia and curiosity.
It's also possible that your ex is confused right now ...
Her mind tells her that she shouldn't be with you, because there have been problems between you, you are not meant for each other or perhaps because you have somehow hurt or disappointed her with your behaviors. Her heart, however, tells her something else. He misses you and would like you near. Try something again for yourself.
He left me but looks for me: what to do?
So what to do when an ex is looking for you? What is the right strategy to be able to win her back without freaking out? I have 3 tips here for you.
1. First try to remain emotionally stable when she contacts you. Don't react too enthusiastically, and don't be sorry if she approaches you and then walks away again. You show that your life goes on, you have other things to do and you don't stay all day waiting for her to write to you.
2. Work on yourself. In the immediate aftermath of the breakup, you need to make progress in your life so that your ex will be surprised at who you are becoming. Improve your social life, your physical appearance and your style. If there are aspects of your character that your ex didn't appreciate, make a point of changing them for the good. Surprise her and you will see that her interest in you will grow more and more.
3. When you talk to your ex via texts, on the phone or live, try to make her listen to her heart more than his head. Keep the conversation light and convey positive emotions. Avoid engaging in overly logical talk about your relationship, as it will only lead her to remember the reasons she decided to break up with you.