Managing time after divorce: some ideas

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Robert Maurer

Managing time after divorce: some ideas

Not sure how to manage time after getting divorced? The dead hours, the absence of activity, the plans that are skipped and the emptiness arrived suddenly. In this article we give you some ideas.

Last update: January 02, 2022

Managing the time after a divorce isn't easy at all. Having a couple relationship for years helps to establish a routine that includes activities and habits that, after this experience, fail. And so the walks or evenings at the cinema remain behind us, giving way to a series of free hours in which we will not know what to do.

All of this can be difficult, especially if after the breakup with your partner we gave up some friendships or if we had focused so much on the other person that we did not have time to take care of ourselves or to cultivate our interests. A very common situation, but one that has a solution if we learn to manage time after divorce.

Tips for managing time after divorce

1. Cultivate your self-esteem

The Spanish article Percepción de mujeres divorciadas acerca del divorcio (The perception that divorced women have of divorce), goes something like this: “It is not uncommon for separation to scratch the self-esteem and identity of the people who are protagonists”. It is therefore necessary to learn to cultivate our self-esteem now that we have time to dedicate to ourselves.

Attending courses to learn how to modulate and better manage our emotions, choose self-love readings and appreciate everything positive we have in our life can be of great help. In order not to forget this last point, we can count on a notebook in which to write down a list of reasons for which we are grateful. In the saddest moments, leafing through this notebook will help us see the situation from a new perspective.

2. Plan time in private life

There is a fundamental activity that we seek to write down at the beginning of the week: everything we would like to do. For example, going to the book fair, visiting a museum in the city, which will host an exhibition on a particular painter, or even walking in the middle of nature, going to the gym at least an hour a day, etc.

By planning our time with this kind of activity we will not feel so alone, nor will we have dead hours in which to think and complain about what we have been through. It is also important to spend time with ourselves, we can go for a walk, go for a run or go to the cinema alone. A divorce is an excellent opportunity to return to embrace our loneliness.

Until you feel comfortable alone with yourself, you will never know if you are choosing someone out of love or out of necessity.


3. Make your dreams come true

When it comes time to manage time after a divorce, we can promise ourselves to sweep away the dust from those old dreams left closed in the drawer of desires. Go on a trip, take a vacation, sign up for a class or accomplish a specific goal (starting a business, writing a book, learning to sing, etc.).

After the separation time abounds and we have no excuse for not acting and for not doing all that was left only an idea that perhaps, one day, would take shape (which never happened). Adopting this attitude will help us improve our self-esteem and enjoy the company of ourselves.

4. Recover friendships to manage time after divorce

Recovering those friendships we had put aside to focus so much on our relationship can be a good way to "repopulate" our social circle. Yet, it is good to be aware that our friends may be reticent or show annoyed precisely because, in due time, our attitude has hurt them.

Moreover, the people who were part of our circle of friends may have moved to another country or have otherwise filled the very void left by us. This point is interesting, because it represents the starting point of what we are about to show you.

Many people will come and go from your life, but only true friends will leave a mark on your heart.

-Eleanor Roosevelt-

5. Making new acquaintances: an idea for managing time after divorce

The last strategy (or goal) that we are about to present to you for learning how to manage time after divorce is in expanding the circle of friends with new acquaintances. While it's important to keep in touch with old friendships, many may have a partner or even children who limit them when planning something. For this reason, meeting people who may be in a similar situation to ours can represent that support that we do not find in our environment.

Joining groups and attending courses will increase the likelihood of bonding. These will be useful to cushion the feeling of emptiness that peeks out every time an element of great importance in our lives is missing. They will not do the reconstruction work in our place, which we have no choice but to develop ourselves, but they can represent a valid help along this path.

Managing the time after divorce is possible if we cultivate our private life as much as our social life. The ideal is to find a balance between these "two forces", distributing the spaces so that there is enough for solitude and company.

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