Joint or separate account? Problems with money in the couple usually cause more than one headache. Let's see what advice can be useful in these cases.
Last update: May 11, 2022
Money is often the subject of discussions and disagreements within many emotional relationships. It is also surprising how sometimes each individual has a different perception of money. The management of money in the couple is, therefore, an aspect that should not be underestimated.
From economic psychology they point out that the vision we have towards the economic aspect is inherited from the family. The patterns of spending and saving behavior are often repeated between parents and children. This means that sometimes when we start sharing life with another person, we find ourselves in unexpected situations.
Do we have a joint bank account? Is it better to keep two separate accounts? These are certainly the most common questions. The truth is that we should consider a number of financial issues before moving in.
Strategies for managing money in couples
There are many couples struggling with serious financial problems at this historic time. In general, however, life imposes many changes on us and, at times, we face difficult moments in which it is necessary to know how to act together.
Not surprisingly, then, psychology has been interested in trying to understand these everyday situations in many families for decades. Research work carried out at the University of Wisconsin-Madison indicates that disagreements in economic matters are among the main reasons for quarrel in emotional relationships.
The American Psychiatric Association (APA) itself highlights a curious fact on which to reflect. When you start a relationship, you pay more attention to what you are in tune with: hobbies, values, future projects, same experiences, etc.
Almost no one pays any attention to the economic availability of the partner. It should be clarified: talking about economic aspects is not synonymous with superficiality or indiscretion. Ultimately, it is a question of understanding how to support a common project.
A wise management of money in the couple is therefore basic and essential. Let's find out together which aspects we should take into consideration.
Economic honesty: this is my current salary
When you have a relationship and you evaluate the possibility of going to live together, you have to be honest about your financial situation and be clear about your salary. It is not an indiscretion, but it allows you to clearly know if both will be able to face the purchase of a house or other expenses.
Living together is much more than eating, sleeping and living together. Being in a relationship under the same roof also involves spending money together and for this reason it is a priority to clarify the real economic situation of both.
"What idea do you have about money?"
This is not a trick question and even less a trivial question. On the contrary, it is decisive. To better manage the economic aspect in the couple, it is necessary to know the partner's point of view:
- Do you prefer to save or spend?
- What did your parents teach you about money?
- Do you have any financial goals? Want to save for something specific?
- Do you happen to spend on impulse or do you think carefully about your purchases?
Obviously, many of these aspects can be seen on a daily basis, as reality can be a little different from what they tell us.
What lifestyle will we keep and how will we get the money?
A fundamental aspect for the management of money in the couple is clarify which lifestyle you will want to lead. If the goal is to save to reach a specific goal (buying a house, taking a trip, etc.), the daily life of the relationship will be marked by the saving to reach the goal.
Both must agree on these goals and fulfill them equally. Otherwise, conflicts will undoubtedly arise.
Individual autonomy, but the achievement of common goals
Economic abuse sometimes occurs in an emotional relationship. This means that only one of them controls the couple's expenses. Furthermore, in some cases, the other person does not even have the possibility to access the account.
For the relationship to be happy and fulfilling, both must have full autonomy of their accounts. There cannot be a single keeper who decides for two.
You need to have full mutual trust knowing you have a common goal; two responsible persons engaged in the domestic economy.
Money management in couples: joint or separate bank accounts?
One of the most frequently asked questions regarding the management of money in the couple: "joint or separate bank account?". On the financial side, many couples feel the need to differentiate between yours, mine and ours.
For this reason, it is customary to open individual personal accounts (as long as the salary allows it), plus a joint account for common expenses such as mortgage, apartment rental, electricity, water, internet, food, etc.
It is equally important to reach agreements on what is considered "joint expenditure". While there are obviously more options, each couple must agree.
Life is a continuous evolution, which is why, overnight, even one's financial situation can change radically. Despite this, it is decisive reach agreements and base the management of money in the couple on trust and prudence.
