Manage couple quarrels in the best way

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Joe Dispenza

Manage couple quarrels in the best way

Find out how to manage couple quarrels to enjoy a sincere, frank and happy relationship.

Last update: July 20, 2022

Conflicts inevitably arise in any romantic relationship. Ultimately, a couple is made up of two different people who strive to maintain a very intense relationship. The problem arises if we don't know how to behave or manage couple quarrels.

At the beginning of a relationship we enter the phase known as falling in love. During this period, everything is beautiful, we experience absolute happiness and indescribable well-being. Nothing worries us and nothing can distract us from this wonderful emotional state. What might bother us about the other person is clouded by desire, and the time we spend together never seems to be enough.

There will come a time, however, when this first phase leaves room for a more stable and more real feeling. Thus we begin, to feel the truest relationship and we also become more aware that the loved one has not only various virtues, but like every human being also many defects. Moreover, if we live together, it is time for negotiations, to divide the costs and learn how to manage couple quarrels.

Why do discussions arise?

In addition to the differences between the two partners, discussions can arise due to problems external to the relationship. In fact, family, work, social, economic problems, etc. can have an impact. In addition, if we add coexistence, it is logical that from time to time certain tensions arise that can give rise to quarrels.

Arguing from time to time is normal and necessary. It serves to clarify, to find points of agreement and then move forward in the relationship. If you never argue, maybe one of you feels insecure and doesn't have the courage to express his opinion and this isn't healthy at all. On the other hand, if the arguments are frequent and violent, then this is a rather serious problem.

If we really want to know how to manage couple quarrels and use them to improve the relationship, we must reach a point of agreement and reduce differences. Let's see some strategies to do this.

"If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will avoid a hundred sad days."

-Chinese Proverb-

How to manage couple quarrels?

Clearly identify the problem and the emotions felt

Sometimes the conflict is not so much with the other person as with ourselves due to certain external circumstances. Maybe something has happened that makes us feel bad and we need to let off steam with someone and maybe this someone is our partner.

Before acting on impulse, we need to do an exercise in introspection and think about how we feel and why.

Knowing how to express feelings and emotions

After identifying the problem, it is very important to know how to express it adequately. One formula that works very well is replace recriminations with personalization. For example, instead of saying “You are a mess! Why didn't you do this? ”, You might say“ I get frustrated when you don't do this, and it makes me sick ”.

In general, people think much better when they don't feel attacked or blamed. In this way, when one of the two explains firsthand how she feels about a certain situation, the partner will be able to understand and feel empathy. Thus, the conflict will be resolved in a positive way.

Don't get carried away with anger and be disrespectful

Sometimes we can feel offended or go through particularly difficult personal moments. On these occasions, emotions can get the better of us. In these moments, a person's emotional state can be so strong that without a good self-control strategy, they could come to dominate their conduct. This means that the levels of empathy are lowered and it could lead to hurting the partner.

If this happens, not only will there be no solution, but it will make the discussions more conflicting. If we know that we struggle to control ourselves at certain times, we should go for a walk, sing, dance, play a sport or anything else that relaxes us. It's better tackle the problem at another time with a clear mind and more serenely.

Talk and find an agreement

When we establish a constructive dialogue with the partner, by exposing the problem calmly, we reach an agreement. This, in addition to strengthening the relationship, promotes the growth of both.

Leaving pride aside, developing empathy and positivity, and learning how to deal with couple quarrels is important. It serves to improve our emotional and personal life and helps us to be happier with our loved one.

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