If your relationship is going through a crisis, we encourage you to explore the 5 areas that show the main problems in relationships.
Last update: 21 September, 2022
Many of the people who go to couples therapy are unhappy or dissatisfied with their relationship. However, not everyone is really clear about what is going on in their life; self they are facing some major relationship issues or if it is just a bad time that will resolve itself over time.
Most couples seeking professional help face serious problems. At the same time, however, these are people who do great together in many ways. In other words, they are couples who have major problems in some areas of their life and who in other respects do not present any difficulties. Here then is where confusion and doubts arise.
In this article we talk about the main couple problems and the 5 areas of analysis of the first couple therapy session. These allow us to identify the problems of the couple and in what area of life they manifest themselves, but also the positive aspects.
The main couple problems and the 5 areas in which they occur
1. Friendship, when the partner is one of the best friends
Do you see your partner as a friend or a friend? Is she one of the people you share feelings, daily experiences, worries and desires with? Friendship is necessary for a couple to function well. Many happy couples, in fact, argue that friendship is the glue of their union.
Friendship can develop in conjunction with the love relationship or precede it. Sharing free time, carrying out some activities together, having similar tastes, interests and values are all ingredients that cannot be missing for a happy and healthy relationship.
"First love is just a little madness and great curiosity."
-George Bernard Shaw-
One of the first assessments that are made in couples therapy sessions is precisely the existing basis of friendship. This area, in fact, is closely related to trust, a feeling that arose precisely because a friendship was developed.
If the friendship is not solid, one of the main problems in the relationship will be a lack of trust. This is reflected in feelings of detachment and misunderstanding (starting to see the partner as a stranger).
When this bond of the couple breaks down, it is easy for the relationship to collapse. Because? Because the more friendship, the more understanding, affection and complicity there will be.
2. Intimacy: the art of sharing quality time without distractions
One of the main problems of a couple is sharing friendship, time, interests, but without intimacy. Intimacy in the life of a couple is understood as the quality time that the two partners spend alone exchanging expressions of affection and love. Intimacy also encompasses the moments when the two partners open up to each other and show the deepest feelings, ideas, emotions and desires.
We therefore understand that it is very important for the couple to carve out moments to spend in intimacy. On the other hand, however, we also know that sometimes this is very difficult, especially in the presence of children or family responsibilities.
If one of the two members of the couple is not satisfied with the level of intimacy, problems will arise. He will feel detached and unimportant to his partner. This will create a negative attitude in everyday life (irritability, feeling unimportant) favoring the onset of negative feelings.
3. Be a team: go in the same direction
Understanding the couple as a team is essential for the relationship to be solid and have a future. When one partner feels that the other is not putting enough effort into common activities, the problems begin. The couple must share efforts, distribute daily tasks, share family responsibilities and offer mutual support.
Inequality is in fact one of the main couple problems. Always having to tow the partner is experienced as a burden or a charge that causes stress and dissatisfaction.
To assess the presence of difficulties in this sphere of the relationship, several aspects must be taken into consideration. For example, the division of household tasks, the efforts made by each other, the initiative of both, the proposals that arise on how to use the free time and the support provided.
“Love does not claim possession, but freedom.
4. Passion and sexuality: the difference between being a couple and best friends
Passion and sexuality cannot be missing in the life of a couple. Without this factor, what you have is a wonderful relationship of friendship and affection, but hardly a good relationship as a couple. It is clear that the importance given to passion and sexuality is not always the same. Nevertheless, these factors must be present, otherwise they will increase the likelihood of serious relationship problems.
Passion and sexuality usually diminish over time. It is a natural process of the evolution of the couple and many times it is an adaptation of the first physical limits. However, as long as there is an interest in keeping the flame of passion alive, experiencing sexuality in a full and satisfying way is possible. You can even overcome certain physical limits.
5. Committing to a common future: sharing projects and taking care of each other
True engagement as a couple goes far beyond the verbal or formal commitment of trust and respect. It means the involvement of both members in common and future projects.
If we resort to breaking up every time a discussion or difficulty arises, we are faced with one of the main couple problems and a relationship with a low or no level of commitment.
Long-term relationships require a high level of commitment on the part of both that allows the couple to evolve and overcome difficulties.
One of the advantages of this therapeutic diagnosis system is that it allows us to know where to intervene. By analyzing the various areas in which couples may present problems, the points under which they can improve are highlighted. If your relationship is going through a crisis, we encourage you to explore the 5 areas that show the main problems in relationships.