Loving yourself: how to really take care of yourself

Who I am
Louise Hay


Author and references

Loving yourself, learning to love yourself, is the way to live a happy life.

If you don't know how to love yourself, you will never be happy. I recommend 4 practical actions try it from me and many other people, always with excellent results. Here's what you'll find:

  1. The illusion of loving oneself while taking care of oneself.
  2. Find out if you are invited, or invited, to your party (take the test!).
  3. Give yourself love, what are you waiting for?
  4. But where do you live? Fix your house right away!
  5. You can lie to anyone but you.
  6. Discover the secret that will change everything in no time.

Now you can follow the order I have chosen, or jump here and there starting from the contents that seem most interesting to you.

Ready to change your life? Are you ready? Let's start!


Love yourself: love yourself or become selfish?

Chances are you've already read a lot of tips to learn how to take care of yourself.

I've done it too and the thing I've learned is that almost always self-care is confused with selfishness.

It almost seems that to love yourself you have to give yourself everything, without rules, with no savings (even economic!).

Television offers us advertisements in which it seems that you can only take care of yourself by understanding this or that product, as if shopping were enough to learn to love each other more.

Not everything that we consider pleasant, therefore, is truly self-love.

To help you understand if the treatments you usually grant yourself are really valuable, I am making you a list of what they should never cause:

  • Addiction. They become things you can no longer do without without feeling some negative emotion.
  • Addiction. That is, the more you take, the less it works. The more you give yourself something, the less it is useful to you, so it ends up wanting more and more or to feel dissatisfaction and boredom.
  • Negative emotions. For example towards people who do not help you, or towards those who seem to prevent you from enjoying it.

If what you do to take care of yourself causes these effects, forget it.

Even if it feels right, nice, if everyone agrees it's a good thing.

Loving yourself, or yourself, is the way to living a happy life.

Dependence, addiction and negative emotions always run counter to this goal. And I talk about it very well in this page dedicated to emotional addiction. Read it 😉

Now I propose to you 4 ways to understand how to love yourself, or yourself, without these side effects.

But first, I suggest you take my test on self-care.

It will allow you to understand if today you are really capable to take care of yourself.

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1. Love yourself, or yourself, by acting with love towards you

To say this, of course, is easy and it also seems the most obvious thing.

However, I often hear the answer: "And how should I act with love towards me? How you do it?".

Learning to love each other means first of all learning to love.

What do you do when you love? Some idea…

  • You listen with interest the person who talks to you.
  • Forgive a mistake and try to understand the reasons.
  • Spend some time with this person and you want to know them, understand them.
  • You respect his ideas, you accept their points of view even if you don't share everything.

These are just some ideas, some gestures that we normally perform when we feel love for someone.

They are also obvious and shareable, but the difficult thing is to understand how to turn them towards ourselves.

So here are some very practical tips that you can start following right away.

First I would like to share a video with you in which I talk to you about how to take care of yourself.


Love for yourself: isolate yourself and remain silent

This is one of the simplest, most important, and most feared things to do.

Take it hard on yourself just by listening to who you are.

Choose a suitable place, where no one can disturb you, eliminate all distractions, do not think about the problems you have to solve and stay there, alone, or alone, with you.

Imagine you want to get to know a person you like, what do you do?

Do you always frequent her in the midst of confusion? Do you always meet her only in the presence of others?

I say no.

You will surely date this person, alone.

You will not be in front of the television, but you will talk, without distractions.

After all, you could be the person you know the least. Then follow these directions:

  • Make an appointment fixed everyday with yourself, or yourself.
  • Make sure this appointment doesn't include guests.
  • The appointment must be something intimate, choose a suitable and comfortable seat.
  • Eliminate music, television, cell phone or other distractions.

For example, I like to walk alone, listen to the rain under a sheet metal veranda (because it amplifies the sound of water drops), stay in my room, watch the fire in the fireplace, watch the sunrise early in the morning, observe animals, trees, leaves.

What's important is that there is only you.

No distractions, no rush, don't get caught up in what you'll do next.

You simply have to observe you, listen, calm and relax your mind.

A simple thing, as mentioned, but I assure you it will be very effective.


Are you a selfish person?

Answer the 7 questions in my selfishness test.

It will allow you to understand if (and to what extent) you are a selfish person.
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How to be yourself: accept your mistakes

This is a crucial point, perhaps not easy to think about, but I am convinced that if we commit ourselves we can make it easier.

Understanding how to be yourself and love yourself means accepting your mistakes, and to do so you need to understand well how to look at your mistakes.

Here's what I recommend you do.

  • Write down the latest mistakes on a piece of paper you have committed, especially the less important ones.
  • For everyone write the reasons why you acted, or not acted, that way.
  • Write then what prompted you to make these choices, what did you believe, what you hoped for, what you feared.
  • Finally write what you can do to fix it to that mistake.

The first points will help you understand yourself better.

We often do not recognize the reasons that push us to act.

The last one, however, serves two things: if you can do something, even indirect or partial, to remedy the mistake, do it.

Now, don't wait for next month.

If, on the other hand, you can't do anything (but it will be very rare!), Try at least to treasure the experience.

Then write what that mistake taught you:

  • What have you learned from this error?
  • How the way you act changes in the future in a similar situation?
  • What could you do to make this experience useful to others (teach it, share it, tell it)?
  • How can you be sure, or sure, that you won't make the same mistake again?

Answer all these questions, and write each answer, because it reinforces what you think and becomes a track that you can access when you need it.

If you find one or more points difficult, write a comment and I'll help you right away overcome the difficulty.


How to love yourself: who knows you best?

Your mother? Your sister? Your husband or your girlfriend? A friend, the best?

No, actually the person who knows you best is you.

You may not always realize it, but this is the truth.

However, you can always improve and become more aware of your personal relationship. Let's see how.

  • Write your success: a degree, a promotion, a sporting triumph.
  • Write the most beautiful human experience what have you done.
  • Write your typical day, one of those absolutely routine.

When you write a success think about the qualities that made you achieve it.

Not to feel better, but to understand that I'm a part of you which often ends up in the attic.

When you write a touching human experience, observe the human values ​​that you have put in place, the ability to understand and understand.

These are also qualities that you possess, although often underestimated.

Then when you write your typical day, observe qualities, strengths or weaknesses, the way you do everything, the attitude, the importance of your work or your gestures.

All those things that seem obvious or trivial, I'm a part of you.

This is an easy way to get to know yourself better and respect who you are


Does it make sense to continue your relationship as a couple?

Answer my test questions to find out.

It will allow you to understand if your relationship has the characteristics to last or not.

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2. Learn to love yourself: where do you live !?

A great way to take care of yourself is to make the environment you live in perfect.

Wait, don't rush.

I know many people, usually women, who are obsessed with order or cleanliness, and almost always for others to think well of them.

Loving yourself does not mean winning the house of the year award (does it exist?), But creating an environment in which to live in line with ourselves.

My bed is always unmade, clothes are often on the sofa and my table always has books and sheets often in random order.

But I'm fine with it. Here are some tips.

  • If you like the order, order everything.
  • Clutter is a relative concept, but if you live in an environment that bothers you with confusion, then you need to make things right.
  • Make your home more yours: paint the walls in the colors you prefer, put the paintings you like, move the furniture as you say.
  • You can tidy up and tidy up your home several times, perhaps changing it every month, or twice a year. The important thing is that it is comfortable for you.
  • Create spaces for reflection, for solitude and for company, to relax, work or study.
  • Look at your home: you would change it with another more beautiful?

I agree with Ralph Waldo Emerson when he wrote that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

The last point, in particular, is provocative: beautiful is a relative concept, but you have to create an environment that you wouldn't change with anyone, because it is yours and for you it is the most beautiful and welcoming in the world.

Organize it however you like.

There is no way to paint the walls, there is no right order to arrange your furniture, it is not true that there is a rule on how to order the things you have in the house.

You can do as you like.

Getting rid of patterns and limits is the heart of self-care.

Start in your home, or in your room

3. Lies have short legs

To tell the truth, to be honest, is an act of love for oneself.
Something that is good for you first, as well as for your relationships.

How honest are we with ourselves?

In recent years I have understood that you have to learn to be it with yourself, first of all.

What does it mean? Here are some examples:

  • Don't seek excuses or guilty for your mistakes.
  • Even if no one sees you doing a wrong thing, you know it, you can't pretend.
  • Try to understand the real reasons for your gestures, don't look for good excuses.

We often tend to look for reasons that others can share.

We don't like being judged, so we often lie to ourselves not to admit that we wanted to do something or that we liked that situation.

Others wouldn't approve, so we can't admit we like it.

You can deceive others, to a certain extent, but not yourself, or yourself: you know the truth, it's inevitable.

Do you know what happens if you repress it, if you pretend you don't see it?

That that truth will make you feel bad, it will create discomfort, negative emotions, afraid that it will come out.

In one word: unhappiness.

Being honest, or sincere, takes away a lot of problems, make life easier and it becomes soon a good positive habit.

  • You don't have to pretend you can be natural and this is a big energy saver.
  • There is no hidden truth that can come out, and this reduces the things that scare you.
  • you can be consistent and transparent, and this strengthens your ability to understand who you are, your worth and your uniqueness.

Does a person who lies to you love you?

Sure, maybe he wants to protect you, but consider a gesture of love to lie to you?

Making decisions for you, deceiving yourself and keeping yourself in the dark?

Not me, but you might see it differently.

For sure if you want to love yourself, take it hard on yourself, you certainly can't start by making fun of yourself.

Just as being honest is fundamental to those we love, it is, perhaps even more true to ourselves.

Let's get practical, here's what you can do right away.

  • Many girls and women dye their hair white, use makeup, or dress in a certain way to please others (or not to be judged badly), but (yes) they say they do it because they like it and that they don't care about the judgment of others. Is this the case for you? Be sincere.
  • Many boys and men behave arrogantly and aggressively because they are insecure and afraid of being belittled, but (yes) they say they do it because they are confident and strong and not to look like it. Is this the case for you? Be honest.
  • Almost all of us defend choices and ideas made because admitting a mistake seems belittling to us and we fear the negative judgment of others, but (to ourselves) we say that it is because we are sure of ourselves and understand more than others who judge superficially. Is this the case for you? We are sincere!

Being honest often does not involve news in the city newspaper, but only a change in the way you communicate with yourself, or yourself.

First of all you have to admit that you are kidding yourself


Discover the 5 Steps to Living INTENSIVELY a life Full of Emotions and Find You Well and in Balance in Every Situation (without Feeling Bad anymore) Training Your "Emotional Independence”, Even If You Don't Believe That Things Enough May they Be Different ...

... If You Don't Trust Yours Capacity or Yours Character It Doesn't Help You!


4. Act with love: the most important secret

When I read sites or books explaining how to love yourself, or yourself, something that I find counterproductive catches my eye: the advice is to take care of yourself by putting others in the background.

It almost seems that loving others is an obstacle to loving ourselves. Could it be true?

Sinceramente I don't know a single better remedy than love to feel better.

The last piece of advice is therefore to act with love.

I wrote an in-depth study on unconditional love that I recommend you read right away, to understand what I'm talking about.

Above all, I have created a guide that explains how to learn to love. I think it is essential.

Here's what to keep in mind before we start giving you practical advice.

  • Love others does not mean being subjected to it and do whatever they want.
  • Love others it does not mean putting our feet on our heads or suffer their oppression.
  • I can't love someone I condemn for the things he does. Nobody is their own mistakes.
  • To love I must have learned to manage my emotions and understood how they are born.
  • Loving is a choice which requires strength and courage.

Those who advise against loving, when talking about self-care, do so because, in my opinion, it confuses love with attachment and dependence on others.

When he feels love, he thinks only of a couple, possession, submission.

We must begin to really understand what it means to love and I invite you to read the contents that you find linked in this guide to deepen every aspect.

Here's what I recommend you do concretely.

  • Act with love towards other people. Simple, kind gestures, without asking for anything.
  • Express your emotions love and affection: hug, smile, give your hand, show interest.
  • Return any offense with a compliment: look for the positive things and forget the others.
  • Do daily favors for those around you. Go one meter more than others without expecting them to reciprocate or be grateful to you.

Because? What does self-care have to do with dedicating oneself to others?

I'll explain it to you right away.

What is the thing you could want most of all but love? I err?

Don't you want to receive love?

Attention, care, interest, respect, listening, forgiveness?

Don't you want others to love you? Why do you want love?

The reason is simple: love is what makes us feel better than anything else.

Here's some good news: if you love others, the love you give will be part of your life.

Do you think the sun could heat up if it were cold?

No, it's obvious, and in the same way you can't love without giving yourself love, either, without living immersed, or immersed, in this wonderful emotion.

What the experts who advise to take care only of themselves seem not to understand, is that loving is the best possible self-care.

Have you watched the lesson?

I'll tell you very clearly: the more you love, the more you give love, the more this love is unconditional, the happier you will be.

And remember that you can't love yourself if you don't learn to appreciate who you are and get to know yourself better.

Tell me, how could you take care of yourself better than this?

I explained to you how to distinguish true cures from presumed cures, which actually hurt you.

I showed you 4 effective but really simple treatments, to improve your relationship with yourself, or yourself.

Learning to love yourself, or yourself is a journey that doesn't end here, but now you can start with more awareness.

I recommend that you take action, because awareness is important, but without action nothing will change.

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