Lost words

Who I am
Robert Maurer


Lost words

Last update: May 13, 2015

I think when I saw you I knew you were what I was looking for,
Unintentionally, unaware of the research
I took off your clothes with my eyes and put them back on
Three or four times, love

And in this removing and putting back, I made space for you between the wall and my skin
Imagining yourself lying on the bed as the words disappeared from my mind
As happens to the one who transcends life and becomes great
At that moment, I decided to become an explorer

And I turned into a different person to win you over,
A me of my me, a me forever,
Innocent, I wanted to sin with you to earn eternal fire.

I had no idea how I was going to tell you
So imagine all the options I have evaluated,
Known and unknown,
And in the end I decided on the train one.

I bought a marker and cut out a card,
I thought I was giving it the shape of a heart
But at that point I would have stopped being the different me to be another
And being afraid that I would find out

- For interest
That of damn interested love-
I wrote, fate, your (you) heart.

I gave it to you with shame,
Brave, but not knowing if I would have convinced you that I was born for me
Your voice had to be delicate
And the lost words would return

I gave it to you and you looked at me without understanding,
You only understood the meaning when you saw my frightened face
My hands trembled in front of the abyss of your "yes"
Faced with the sadness of your "no"

Now what?
All or nothing, a simple and absolute thing like this,
From feeling the happiest person to the dumbest one,
From not being enough to feeling overwhelmed.
Anyone who has ever been in love knows

I could not wait for the answer, I went away letting a strange cold penetrate me,
Predictable, but unknown
Like who sighs when you walk on the edge of the abyss,

I had no more daisies left to question,
Neither suspicious, furtive looks
Nor dreams full of images. And now?

Would I have committed suicide?
Why give proof in reality what exists in the interior
It means tying it with an indestructible chain and preventing it from going away
... walk together.

I opened the drawer and put away the photo of all of us, of the group
And the one where there was only you
And I told you that I liked you, that I was crazy about you, but your face was impassive
And it was I who had to interpret it

However, now I have another one,
The one that before turning and leaving I did not stop to decipher
But which now, in intimacy, has become my only pastime
Until you give me an answer ... and words.

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