Lack is much more than just a memory

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Robert Maurer

Lack is much more than just a memory

Last update: April 02, 2016

Missing someone is one of the most painful sensations you can experience, since it does not only mean remembering the good times lived with a person; even though she is no longer part of our life, and has been out of our hearts for a long time, the memory of her haunts us day and night.

Why do we miss people? Is it possible to avoid it? The problem lies in the void that is created when these people leave our life. The space has to be filled in some way and the solution is not always to let someone else in.

When missing hurts

We can cite many examples that give rise to this feeling: a love of adolescence, a friend we love very much, a grandfather who died a long time ago, moments of happiness with our family in childhood ...

We don't want to feel this feeling, but it's something we can't control, and it really hurts. In addition to missing a person or a situation, what we really feel is a strong pressure in the chest, accompanied by tears falling from our eyes.

When you love someone deeply and have been truly happy, the fact that you are no longer together is a cause for sadness. Sure it's understandable in the first moments, but after a set period of time, you should move on and get on with your life.

Missing someone is much more than remembering and, above all, much more than suffering. You can have a nice memory of the school teacher or of a trip made. However, missing it goes further. Lack is facing the emptiness caused by a loss, and it is very difficult to refill it!

The lack is difficult to explain

Searching the dictionary for the meaning of the word "lack", we read that it is an intransitive verb, the meaning of which is "in person: to be absent, to be far from a place where it should or could be". From this definition we could come to some conclusions.

In particular, it indicates the absence of someone who should be present. Speaking of feelings, therefore, we can say that the lack makes its way when there is no longer someone we used to see. 

If you suffer, it is because it was not possible to replace this person, or because in his place he left a great void, which cannot be filled.

Missing or remembering?

We have the rough definition of the verb to forget. We lack the word remember to complete this puzzle. Searching the vocabulary again, we will find this definition: “To recall one's own memory or that of others, with the idea of ​​having to fulfill some duty or provide for some need”.

What to say about it? That the memories remain in the brain, that is, that they are not related to feelings and, if so, they would not sadden us or make us want to cry. To sum up, to miss someone is to think about a person and the moments we spent together with him.

On the other hand, remembering is recalling the good times, but putting aside nostalgia, that is, leaving out the feelings that were felt then. Certainly it is difficult to put aside the emotions that a memory provokes, since we are not robots, nor machines. However, many times it is worth trying to avoid the depression, crying, or even hatred that can arise.

If you try to avoid missing someone every time you remember them, maybe you should keep these thoughts away as much as possible. For example, avoid any actions that could bring to mind her face, words said, or shared moments. Over time, the memories will stop hurting you, although you may continue to miss this person; the emptiness it left by leaving will not stop you from moving forward.

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