We often feel unprepared in some situations, such as when we have to introduce the new partner to our children
Last update: January 03, 2019
We change partners more easily today than in the past. The divorce rate in Spain is still among the lowest in Europe, with just over 50.000 cases registered in 2016. These data, however, added to the new family realities, mean that we often find ourselves in situations that we are not quite familiar with. all prepared, like introduce the new partner to our children.
And therefore, what should be a cause for joy for all family members can turn into a difficult time. Not knowing how the children will react can lead us to postpone this moment several times, generating a certain degree of discomfort. For this reason, we want to give you some tips to introduce the new partner to your children.
Steps to follow to introduce the new partner to the children
In general, a situation as delicate as announcing your new partner to your children requires to be handled with caution and with a well-defined plan. The involvement of the new partner or the new partner in the daily life of their children must be progressive, especially if the separation is recent.
1- Choose carefully who to present to your children
In the early stages of a relationship, it's very easy to lose your mind over someone and believe they will be forever, or that they are the perfect, flawless partner. However, this distorted perception of the first months tends to diminish with the passage of time.
If you are starting a new relationship, the best thing to do is take some time before introducing this person to your children. You could wait between six and nine months.
2- Explain to the children what is happening
When you have decided that the relationship with this person is becoming serious, it is time to inform your children. You may feel partly ready to introduce your partner, but you can always introduce the situation first by explaining to them what is going on in your life.
Children, having no experience of what a couple relationship is, they may not initially understand why you want to date someone new. It is therefore normal for them to initially express a certain rejection of the idea that you are in a new relationship.
However, with a little patience and respecting their times, your children will eventually accept the new situation. Only then will it be the perfect time to introduce your new partner to your children, not without talking to him or her first as well.
3- Talk to the new partner
If it has been difficult for your children to accept that you are dating another person, before you let them know, you need to let them know. possibility of finding some “resistance” from the children.
It is important that he (or she) understands that your children's rejection is not specifically about him or her, but about the past and the situation that is unfolding. In order for your partner to better understand how they feel, you can try to be empathetic with them.
4- Organize a first meeting
The most critical moment when it comes to introducing your new partner to your children is to get them to meet for the first time. If you have spoken to both parties in advance, this first meeting should go smoothly, but some difficulties may still arise.
Your task during this first meeting is to act as an intermediary between the parties, so that they are able to resolve any possible conflict before it arises. Assertiveness can turn into one of your most effective weapons.
5- Involve the new partner in your life
When the new partner and the children have met, the last step is to plan more meetings as well as the time to share. in such a way as to stimulate a pleasant relationship between them. The latter is especially important if your new partner comes to live with you, or if you are considering taking a more serious step in the relationship.
When a new partner enters our life and we want to introduce him to our children, we need to build a solid foundation to build a healthy relationship and minimize possible conflicts.