When we don't trust ourselves, we sabotage ourselves and prevent ourselves from achieving the success we deserve. If you want to know how to increase your confidence, this article is for you.
Last update: 24 March, 2022
There are millions of people in the world with immense potential, yet they fail to be happy and successful. We have all known someone who, while being intelligent, good and full of virtue, sabotaged their opportunities out of fear. Increasing self-confidence allows you to live as desired.
As Henry Ford said: "Whether you think you can make it or not, you will still be right." The beliefs we have about ourselves can lift or sink us.
It is therefore essential to become aware of self-sabotage and work on our self-esteem in order to stop being our most critical judges and instead become our greatest admirers.
How to increase self-confidence?
We are tired of hearing banal phrases that invite us to love and accept ourselves, to fight for our dreams and believe in ourselves, without ever being told how to do it.
How am I going to love myself overnight after years of hating my flaws? How to do it if deep down I don't feel like a good person?
Well, there is no magic bullet that can boost self-esteem in one second. Only we own thekey to open that door and to get it we have to initiate several changes.
However, with motivation and perseverance we can increase our self-confidence and we will see how our life will radically change. Here are some guidelines to do this.
Change the inner dialogue
Through our thoughts, we send messages to ourselves. We complain or congratulate ourselves, judge ourselves, comment on our actions.
This inner dialogue is often automatic and we don't realize the amount of negative communication we send to each other throughout the day.
If we want to increase our self-esteem, we need to change the way we talk to ourselves. Being forgiving, understanding and loving with ourselves.
Let's start reminding ourselves of what we know well and focus on mistakes as an opportunity for growth. If we constantly punish ourselves, it will be impossible for us to believe in ourselves.
Think of a child whose parents continually point out his flaws and they give it negative labels. The little one will grow up feeling insecure and worthless.
Conversely, if they reinforce his successes, support him and guide him in his failures, the child will feel safe and loved. Similarly, it happens with our thoughts.
We can make a list of statements and repeat them in front of the mirror every day. We capture in them what we want to achieve, in the first person and in the present.
For example: I am a confident person, I trust my abilities and I live without fear. The brain believes what we tell it, repeating these phrases every day will help us reinforce our new thoughts about ourselves.
One of the most effective tools to initiate change is to start acting as if what we want is already a reality. Starting to behave like a person with high self-esteem and confidence would:
- Walk upright and watch straight ahead when walking down the street.
- Accept the challenges and face them as if we had full confidence in our abilities. If we get stuck in insecurity, we will never give ourselves the opportunity to develop our potential. Conversely, we will find that we are much more capable than we think and our self-esteem will increase.
- Setting limits even if we are afraid. We may be afraid of rejection if we say no to other people's requests or if we express our opinion. Let's do it anyway and repeat to ourselves that it doesn't matter if the other gets angry, it's our right to take care of ourselves.
Reinterpret fears to increase self-confidence
Fear and excitement are caused by the same substance: adrenaline; and although psychologically the two emotions are experienced differently, they both have a biological similarity.
This means that theoretically it is It is possible to re-evaluate our anxious responses and turn them into enthusiasm. This was confirmed by a study published in the Journal Experimental Psychology, in which Dr. Alison Brooks subjected each member of three groups to an activity that usually generates anxiety (an individual presentation while a jury evaluated them).
However, before the activity, each participant was given a different instruction. The members of the first group were not told anything; the second and third groups were asked to repeat aloud "I am calm" and "I am excited" respectively.
The results show that the members of the third group, i.e. those who have tried to interpreting their nerves as arousal rather than fear, they performed significantly better in the task.
In this sense it can be said that people can re-evaluate anxiety as enthusiasm, using minimal strategies such as internal dialogue (for example by saying “I am excited” aloud) or simple messages.
In other words, the adoption of a prospect of opportunity, rather than threat, can make a difference in subsequent performances.
Increasing our self-confidence is up to us
It is necessary to be constant and persevering in the actions presented. All changes take time and we will need an adjustment period until these actions become natural to us.
Security is built gradually. Let's talk to ourselves in a positive and constructive way, allow ourselves the opportunities we need to develop our potential, and always put ourselves at the top of our priority list.