I want to change my life!
Are you repeating this phrase to yourself? Here's everything you need to think about before starting your change.
You can't discover new oceans until you have the courage to lose sight of the beach.Anonymous
Changing life is the dream of many people, because for better or for worse, all of us are dissatisfied with some aspect of our existence.
In this article I don't want to give you real tips to change your life from a material point of view, but rather to make some preliminary reflections useful and concrete.
In fact, before starting any change, we must think and ponder our choice.
We need to understand if we have the opportunity to transform ourselves and our life or if it is a dream that does not have a solid motivational foundation.
Before continuing, know that if you want to change your life, I have written an ebook that has already helped hundreds of people: you can find it by clicking here.
Ready? Let's begin.
Others don't want to see us change
We start by becoming aware of a fact that we have to understand, whether we like it or not.
Often the people around us absolutely do not want to see us change and sometimes, they can do everything to put a spoke in the wheel.
I speak from personal experience.
People around us may have some good advice to give us, but they will try to stop us from changing our lives for several reasons.
There are mainly two categories of people.
# 1 Jealous and unhappy people
In this case to move the alleged advice and the alleged life lessons, are the jealous people who feel unhappy inside.
Many are not at peace with themselves and do not want to watch other people succeed in the change they themselves would like to see in their own life.
Just feeling that we want to change our life makes them feel jealous and angry - they can't conceive that we could achieve success and happiness while they can't.
These people are gods fake good Samaritans and they'll pretend they like what we want to do, but deep down they'll hate us for it.
# 2 People stuck in their habits
Many people have become used to our routines, so much so that even a small change could literally send them into crisis.
These people they don't want us to change because as a result we would also change their lives, which they are careful not to do.
For this reason they will do everything to sabotage us and to convince us that we should not move on, but continue to hold on for some change, which they too know will never come.
Beware of these two categories of people, but also of a pattern that we all fall into.
The bogus scheme of the miraculous upheaval
We often imagine having to change our life with a big win or a sudden move to the other side of the world.
It happens because we idealize the process of change based on stereotypes and clichés.
We then begin to imagine receiving a large sum of money and giving up work, family, friends and home, to give life to a sudden move.
Hope for such a change it makes us addicted fate, karma, other people or whoever you think can bring about the change you desire.
We therefore reduce ourselves to hoping for an external upheaval that deep down we know it will never come.
We then enter a labyrinth of thoughts and paranoia that will never lead us anywhere, thus ending up wasting our existence.
Including this, if you are repeating yourself "I want to change my life"It is time to become aware that we must be the ones to bring about the change we want.
Let's see the 12 questions we need to ask ourselves to consciously move on.
I want to change my life! Do it consciously
# 1 What don't I like about what I'm doing right now?
Before defining a change, even a small one, we need to understand exactly what we don't like about our life in order to change it.
Very often we are tempted to answer "everything", but we have to start somewhere and an "everything" is not a specific starting point to be able to start a travel to a destination.
The best thing to do is take some time to write down what we don't like about the path we are following and then evaluate some targeted changes.
# 2 Do I really need to change my life?
We often dream of turning our life upside down after passing gods difficult times or maybe after hitting rock bottom.
When we are angry, annoyed or upset, we feel needs that we don't really have when everything settles within us.
If you are angry, for example, you must first of all find peace and evaluate if the needs you felt are real and persistent.
# 3 What could I never give up in my change?
This question could be asked in many other ways, but it mainly serves to understand a what values you can not give up in your life.
Understanding what things you absolutely cannot say No to is important to assess whether you can afford to leave your current life behind and if you will not find these values after the change.
# 4 Is there anything I might regret about my change?
Changing just means changing something, it's not always a process evolutionary but sometimes also involutionary.
What are the values, freedoms and materialities that you could lose in the change you wish to implement?
Is it really worth it?
# 5 Are you thinking about changing your life at any moment?
How do you imagine your change?
As something slow and gradual or as a sudden upheaval?
As we have seen, most of the people imagine a drastic change and sudden, however, we must understand if it is feasible or not.
Kaizen teaches us that the best way to change is to take small steps.
# 6 Do I have the skills to change my life?
It sounds trivial but many people want to embark on a sudden change without having the skills to do so.
I get emails from people who intend to quit their jobs at any moment because they (rightly) feel tired and overwhelmed.
Before starting, you need to ask yourself if you have the skills to find a new job or new opportunities and if maybe it could be enough to improve your working environment.
# 7 You repeat to yourself "I want to change my life!" or are you acting concretely?
We often have this question afraid to answer.
Inside of us we want to change our lives but we do absolutely nothing to realize this latent desire and we continue to procrastinate.
You must therefore make yourself an examination of conscience and investigate to understand if you are repeating yourself "I want to change my life"Empty or if you have already started to act.
# 8 Do I have to change my life suddenly?
As we have seen, we always imagine changes as sudden and immediate, but is this really the case?
Statistically the people who transform their lives they do it gradually building a new job, new relationships or new habits day in and day out.
There are very few who have suddenly changed their lives.
Let's face it: waiting for the change we want to rain from the sky is called dreaming.
# 9 Do I already have the strength to change my life?
Here you need to take a look at your internal resources.
Often what blocks our change is fear: fear of finding a worse life, of making the people around us suffer, fear of not making it or fear of losing something along the way.
Are you willing to run gods small calculated risks?
# 10 What can I do again?
There are new things you can do for improve your life without upsetting it?
Maybe it is enough to take some time for yourself or to go slower to avoid being overwhelmed by work.
Always ask yourself what you can do to eliminate the things you don't like or turn them into something beautiful for yourself.
# 11 What can I do less?
Sometimes it is much better to do less and take away from your life than to keep adding.
We are constantly looking for objects, people, jobs and experiences to keep adding material without thinking that maybe it is by removing that we would be better off.
Ask yourself: What can I eliminate in my life to get better?
# 12 What's stopping me from thriving now?
Sometimes I hear phrases like: "if I had the money I would immediately move to that place and I would finally be happy".
When I hear these statements I ask: What would it change for you to live in that place?
And I am told that in that place they would feel free to live as they wish and to behave as they really feel inside.
At this point it is clear that it is not the place itself that blocks us a mindset: what external factors are blocking you?
Why do I want to change my life?
The most important question of all is surely linked to a why.
But not only.
You have to figure out if your why is strong and solid enough.
In fact, we often want to change something we don't like, but our motivation is not enough to abandon the present condition and reach the desired state.
In this situation ask yourself because I want to change my life and really digging deep within oneself is vital to understanding the real reasons for this desire.
When we feel we want to change it is first of all necessary to increase our awareness, not to discourage change, but to do it consciously.
Pursue impossible goals or go for one new life without awareness of what we are doing is very risky.
So I hope I have helped you to understand a little more about your life and about the change you want.
PS Did you know that I have created a whole course to change your life?