I loved you because I didn't know how to love myself

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Robert Maurer
@robertmaurer
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wikipedia.org

I loved you because I didn't know how to love myself

Last update: December 16, 2015

“They made us believe that true love is only found once, and in general before the age of thirty. They did not tell us that love is not activated and that it does not arrive at a specific time.

They made us believe that each of us is the perfect half of an apple, that life only makes sense when we can find the other half.. They did not tell us that we are born whole, that no one in our life never deserves to carry on their shoulders the responsibility of completing what we lack: we grow with ourselves. If we are in good company, it is simply more pleasant.



They made us believe in a formula called "two in one": two people who think alike, act alike, that only this could work. They didn't tell us this has a name: cancellation. That only being individuals with their own personality allows us to have a healthy relationship.

They made us believe that marriage is a must and that out of time desires must be repressed.
They made us believe that the beautiful and thin are the most loved ones. They made us believe that there is only one formula for happiness, the same for everyone, and those who try to free themselves from it are doomed to marginalization.


They haven't told us that these formulas don't work, they frustrate people, they are alienating, and that there are other alternatives.

Ah, they didn't even tell us that no one will ever tell us all this. Each of us will find out for ourselves. And so, when you are very much in love with yourself, you can be just as happy, and you can love someone.



We live in a world where we hide to make love, while violence and hatred spread in the sunlight. "

(John Lennon)

Love cannot be left for tomorrow

How many times have we thought that our love was not compensated? How many times have we given so much more than we were getting? How many times have we exhausted our strength to offer ourselves totally? We've probably lost count.

It is common not to be able to conceive of love without sacrifice, without pain and without submission. We make the mistake of committing ourselves more to love for our neighbor than for ourselves. We create crazy loves and we get upset. Consequently, we say goodbye to patience, self-knowledge and hope.

Often, we expect miracles from a relationship. We wait a long time for love; however, love is not to be expected, love must NEVER be left for tomorrow.

"Never do with love what the child does with his balloon: he loses it while playing and then cries."

Growing up means learning to say goodbye

Saying goodbye for real takes a lot of effort, but most of all, a lot of pain. Often, in fact, we are overwhelmed by the fear of managing a detachment.

When we love, we must never lose our individuality, nor change our way of seeing the world or living. Love does not feed on submission, but on freedom.

Si it's about preferring and not needing, to establish yourself together with your partner, to grow alongside him. We have to be the people we want, always whole and complete, without needing to be perfected by another half.


If this attitude fails, that is, if there are not two distinct and unique people in the relationship who enjoy their individual and common life, it is better to say goodbye and let go of the reins of something that cannot be lived.



“If love were a tree, the roots would be your self-love. The more you love yourself, the more fruits your love will give to others and the longer the feeling "

(Walter Laughs)

Fall in love with yourself, then who you want

We must learn to say "I love myself" before "I love you"; only in this way, will we really know love. Love is not a game, nor a competition: it is not about winning or losing, but about growing.


It is difficult to prioritize our personal well-being over that of others. However, this is the only way not to leave holes in our hearts, not to feel empty and desolate.

Burying the seeds of self-love, treating them with affection and protecting the fruits from the storm, will allow us to nourish our love for others in a healthy way. For this reason, before thinking of loving someone, we must understand if we love each other enough; this is the only way to create lasting and imperturbable emotional bonds.

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