Last update: January 08, 2016
The flame of my love remains alight in the face of any glimmer of hope, illusion, fantasy and memory. Everything brings me to you because my body vibrates when I think of you and I feel you so inside me.
It is because I love you that I awaken all my senses and I rise towards you, even if you are no longer there, even if you do not understand me, even if we no longer speak the same language and do not desire a destiny together with the same passion.
If I close my eyes, I realize I wish you were there. You are always in all things that seem beautiful to me, wherever I am, I imagine you with me, sharing the same path.
I know you don't feel that love anymore and you barely feel anything for me, but my heart overflowing with love undertakes, for no reason, as if it were mad, not to give up, to persevere in solitude and in your absence.
Each time I am more and more convinced of the purity of my love, because it emanates an inexhaustible energy, whose only intention is to complete itself by coming towards you.
Unforgettable experiences with you
You have undoubtedly made me a different person since you came into my life. I think I have changed some fundamental aspects that make me be myself and appreciate everything from other more authentic perspectives, my emotions and my feelings.
I remain with the feeling that what we have lived together has been as real as the love I feel right now and so intensely for you: without dazzle, without interest, without arguments and without any kind of conditions.
I feel that when I look at you or when I close my eyes, you are in front of me. This feeling comes from the heart and in these moments the reason does not exist, they are pure emotion, pure feeling. And it is one of the most beautiful sensations I have experienced with you.
I feel that in those moments I would give my life for you, that I don't care about anything other than feeling connected with you. It is something incredibly beautiful and dangerous, it leaves me completely vulnerable and it seems that the slightest noise can destroy my armor.
I felt you were going to be the woman of ever life
Certainly with you I experienced happiness, but also sadness, with greater intensity. I felt cheated, helpless, angry, full of anger and above all frustrated.
A continuous frustration at the possibility of reaching you, of feeling close to me again, together with me for real. And, suddenly, come back to reality and realize that it was all my illusion.
It was the hope of being able to see you again, to look into your eyes, believing that I could go back to how, in my opinion, everything could be.. We are together, we love each other forever: an innocent promise, in which even I believed.
Despite reason and experience, quite innocently, I truly believed that something like this could exist because I had the feeling that you would be the woman of my life and that, because our love was so pure, nothing would change. . The saddest thing is that sometimes I'm still convinced.
This time it was not like that and I want to believe that there was a reason, that after all the important things we have lived, other experiences await us, perhaps more real and more authentic..
Not because they really are, but because I will feel more prepared to see them, experience them and live them, in a conscious and profound way.
Accept the reality
My goodbye is real now, I need it to be so for me to accept that you are not the woman in my life and that it is not with you that I will make all my dreams and plans come true..
It is difficult for me to accept all this, I have resisted and I try to do it again sometimes because it is not what I feel or what my will wants.
It's something I don't want to face, but I can avoid. I have to find the courage and learn this hard lesson that hinders my present and does not allow me to move on with my life and think about the future.
I was left with no alternatives, no ambitions, I don't know what awaits me. I feel only a continuous despair, an anguish that embraces me strongly and takes possession of me.
Although I know it is the strength that has brought me to your soul, I also know that it is the one that pulls me away from it. It seems incomprehensible to me. In my ignorance and inability to understand life, I see it as unjust and cruel.
However, I feel I have to let all the love I have inside flow, to thank this force that has first united and then separated me from you, For some reason I know I cannot understand.
But I feel it inside me, with great intensity, right now. The fact is that the love that you and I have built together is something that will remain in eternity. And I know that nothing and no one can change it.
I leave you because I love you and because I don't know how else to be with you except by loving you. I don't expect you to understand, because neither do I. But I hope you know that I do it right now, when I most want and need to be with you.