I didn't know what to do and I made myself happy (emotional growth)

Who I am
Robert Maurer


I didn't know what to do and I made myself happy (emotional growth)

Last update: Augusts 20, 2015

I would get up every morning hoping that something would fall from the sky. Smiles, eternal loves, incredible journeys, dreams come true, personal satisfactions… However, day after day, I saw that nothing changed and despair grew in me.

I realized that, without knowing it, I was wasting every opportunity waiting, forgetting to act.

So, one day, I decided to start accepting my emotions and my hopes, without pain or denial. I simply began to cultivate my patience and my capacity for reflection.

One day I got up and, since I didn't know what to do, I made myself happy.

You can't ask for oranges from the apple tree

Every day is good for a change, but, like everything in life, everything has its moment. You can't ask for oranges in the apple tree, you have to be prepared.

When you realize you have suffered enough, you begin to wonder what things are not being done correctly and the answer is quite simple: one cannot be happy if one constantly struggles with oneself. Because it is precisely that inner struggle that destroys us.

I got tired of being told "what nonsense", "it's not worth it", "stop crying", "you have to learn that life is hard", "you have no reason to be like this", etc.

But why? Don't people realize that it is perfectly normal to be sad when something is wrong? You have to go around with a smile on your face even if you are destroyed inside?

Well, I'm so sorry, but in life it's not all white or all black.

I accept the presence of gray, pink, yellow and any other color.

It must be understood that, in life, every emotion experienced plays a role, which is not to mist up the panes of our windows and prevent us from seeing the sunrise. Absolutely no. Its function is to help us grow and understand this place called the world.

Often the act of "feeling good" is seen as an obligation, sad and frustrating. If we feel bad and we feel obligated to get better, we will not succeed and we will only be worse off.

It is a vicious circle that will make us feel awkward, guilty and unlucky; it will sink us into a pit of negativity due to the fact that we will not be able to achieve the goal we have set for ourselves. When we force ourselves to feel better and stop worrying, problems get bigger in our minds. It is a spiral of guilt.

Imposing feelings and emotions on us is pure madness: if at a certain moment we are sad, it is because of something. If we choose to accept these kinds of feelings, they will teach us many wonderful and useful things to be happy.

If, on the other hand, we do not accept them and tend to move them away from us, we will end up in a tunnel with no way out.

“Wisdom is the art of accepting what cannot be changed, of changing what can be changed and, above all, of knowing the difference between these two concepts”.

Being happy doesn't mean being in a good mood all day

Without a doubt, good humor is a basic ingredient to get a nice dish of happiness, but it is neither the only nor the essential one. I could tell you a thousand theories about happiness, but we would still not know the flavor of this combination of ingredients.

What is it about? A destination? Of a path? Of a level of wisdom? Of inner peace? In fact, no one knows what happiness is, but those who really feel it speak of "accepting" and "letting go". It is thanks to these concepts that we realize that we are walking on the right or wrong path.

We tend to wait for happiness to rain down on us, but in the meantime we are struggling with our reality. We are often unintelligent about it: remember that things get better when you allow them to happen and enrich your life with their teachings.

Probably, what you need to do is to abandon this poignant struggle with yourself, accept pain as an inevitable aspect of life, and understand that inner peace comes only when the war against yourself is over.

Main image courtesy of DeepGreen

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