close
    search Buscar

    How to turn the page and start living again: 8 tips

    Who I am
    Robert Maurer
    @robertmaurer
    SOURCES CONSULTED:

    wikipedia.org

    Item Feedback:

    content warning

    Do you want to move on? Do you want to learn what to do to change your life? 

    In this article, I will share with you some powerful personal growth strategies for turn the page permanently.

    There are moments in our existence when we need to change everything. Nothing is the same anymore and this makes us suffer. Being able to manage these situations is much easier if you have certain knowledge about the human mind and how to promote lasting changes. 



    Maybe you want to know like turn the page after a disappointment in love, or you want to give your life a new direction. Whatever the reason, applying the strategies I am about to provide you will allow you to positively transform your existence. 


    Turn the page: mistakes to avoid

    First of all, below I present the two main mistakes you must be able to avoid in order to move on.


    1. Don't dwell on what could have been 

    The mistake 99% of people make when they want to move on is to constantly think about how everything that has happened could have gone differently. 


    The point is that things went a certain way and we have to deal with what really happened; not with what could happen. 

    It would be nice if things could go our way, but unfortunately this is not the case. 

    Who wonders how to turn the page he must remember that thinking and talking about how things could have gone differently only hurts more. Psychological suffering can be greatly reduced by learning to accept what happens to us. 

    What you need to know is that the more you think and talk about how things could have turned out differently, the more you will suffer. While first you accept the events you live and the sooner you reach inner serenity. 

    2. Don't fall into victimhood 

    Another mistake to absolutely avoid is to feel sorry for yourself. 

    Complaining excessively, adopting the victim mentality, and self-pitying are attitudes that take away your power to change a given situation because they convince you that you don't have the strength to transform your life. 


    The best thing to do to overcome a difficulty is to take concrete actions, but if the brain focuses on the problem for too long, it cannot consider the solutions and therefore it will not allow you to act in the right direction. 

    Crying yourself, no matter what happened, won't allow you to turn the page as soon as possible. 


    Science has shown that complaining about a problem turns off the neurons in the hippocampus, which are the ones responsible for finding solutions. So the two mistakes you need to avoid are: 

    • Thinking and talking about how things could have turned out differently 
    • Complain

    How to turn the page after a disappointment in love

    The two strategies I have told you about so far are useful for all cases in which a person wants to change his life, but now I will recommend some that are specific to move on after a disappointment in love. 

    1. Change your perspective

    When we experience difficulties our mind tries to protect us in all possible ways. One of these is the generalization

    If for example, if a woman is treated badly by a boy her brain to protect her in the future creates the generalization "all boys are assholes". Since this is a generalization it can never be true. Specifically, this generalization will prevent the girl from meeting new guys because she will label them as "assholes", when maybe they are extraordinary people. 


    This process of generalization is useful for survival, but it may not be for our happiness. 

    If you want to restart successfully after what has happened to you, you must avoid that your brain creates generalizations or limiting thoughts. To do this, just change your perspective on what happened and ask yourself: 


    • How important will what happened 20 years from now? 
    • In 50 years what will I remember about this event?  

    Looking at things in the future is very helpful because it resizes what we have experienced and helps us get started. In fact, most of the problems we experience today, if we think about our future, lose the importance we attribute to them now in our life. 

    Turn the page it is definitely an easier action to do for people who look at things from many different points of view. Asking yourself if a problem that you are experiencing today will have the same importance in several years will help you to reduce the difficulties you are facing. 

    2. Find an activity to focus on

    To get off to a great start, it is useful to identify an activity that you can focus on often, even on a daily basis, and that allows you to positively change your mood. 

    Each person has a passion, goal or hobby that helps them feel good. For some it is sport, for others dance and for others it may be volunteering. 

    The important thing is that instead of thinking about what happened to you, you focus on the activity that you enjoy most and that gives you a feeling of well-being. 

    If, on the other hand, you don't know which action to start with, some activities that can be of great help to increase your well-being and improve your mood are: 

    • Martial arts  
    • Yoga
    • Meditation 
    • Communicate how you feel through writing or painting

    Spending more time on activities that you are passionate about or those I have mentioned will allow you to significantly improve your mood and move on permanently.

    3. Free yourself from limiting unconscious patterns 

    Is there a pattern that is repeating itself in your relationships? Usually before your bond with the other person ends, do you always relive the same difficulties? 

    The relationships that end can bring out the relational pattern that we carry with us from an early age, and that we have mainly followed from our parents. In psychology this phenomenon is called repetition compulsion:

    “Incoercible tendency, completely unconscious, to place oneself in painful or painful situations, without realizing that they have actively determined them, nor of the fact that it is the repetition of old experiences”.

    Unconsciously one tends to relive the same relational patterns that influenced us the most during our childhood. For this reason: 

    • If a person has parents who divorced when he was little, there is a better chance that he too will divorce when he gets married.
    • If a man is the child of a woman who is addicted to gambling, there is a better chance of marrying a girl who has addictions.

    These psychological dynamics must be taken into consideration to avoid putting them back into practice. The first step to avoiding them is to realize that they exist.

    Then analyze if there is something in common with all the relationships you have lived through to date, or if your relationships are an unconscious way of mimicking the relationship your parents had when you were little.

    Remember that you can also forget your ex-partner easily, but until you are able to identify and overcome the negative relationship patterns that you undertake in an unconscious way, you cannot yet say that you have managed to move on.


    4. Profile your ideal partner 

    Knowing exactly what you want makes it easier for us to recognize it when we have it in front of our eyes. What is your ideal partner like? What characteristics does it possess?

    The more you can identify what the man or woman of your dreams should be like, the easier it will become for you to choose and select the people with whom to enter into a relationship. 

    Here are some questions you should ask yourself to identify your ideal person: 

    • How does my perfect partner look like physically? 
    • How is his character? 
    • What are its main habits? 
    • What are your hobbies and passions? 
    • How do you cope with difficulties? 
    • What positively distinguishes him from other people? 
    • What defects does it have? 
    • What topics do you like to talk about? 
    • What do you like to do? 
    • What does he hate?
    • What are his life goals?
    • What are its values?

    Take some time to answer all the questions and after doing so, analyze what emerges well. You will need this to apply the next strategy. 

    5. Develop the qualities you desire in your ideal partner 

    Once you have identified the strengths and weaknesses of the person you wish to have by your side, work towards developing the qualities you would most love in this person. 

    If your dream partner is a kind and caring person, make an effort to become kinder and more caring too. 

    If your ideal partner is someone who always strives to improve in his work, strive to become better at your job too. 

    Does the person you would like to have by your side face difficulties with self-confidence because they have a strong self-esteem? All right, then work on increasing your self-esteem too.

    As human beings we prefer to hang out with people who are similar to us, so the more you develop certain qualities, the more you will prefer to be in the company of people like you and you will automatically distance yourself from others. So when you create a relationship, it will be more fulfilling than the others. 

    6. Avoid superficial relationships

    In the aftermath of a breakup or separation, avoid fallback relationships. To overcome a disappointment in love it is essential to first learn how to:

    • create and surround yourself with healthy and deep relationships 
    • live the period in which you are single with serenity

    Doing this will help you improve the quality of your life.

    Most people in order to get over the end of a relationship engage in bad behaviors such as smoking, getting drunk often, or quickly entering into superficial relationships just to fill in the void that has come to be formed in their life.

    These methods, although they may seem effective in the short term, are actually not at all useful for achieving happiness in the long term, and above all they do not allow you to turn the page in the correct way.

    Read also: How to deal with and overcome an unwanted separation - 10 tips

    How to continue to turn the page

    We are at the end of this article on how turn the page in life and thank you for reading it all. 

    I inform you that there is a foolproof method that will allow you to restart successfully, say goodbye to your last relationship in a positive way and take back your life. 

    It will also allow you to learn: 

    • The mistakes to be avoided absolutely after the end of a relationship
    • All the practical secrets to overcome the disappointment of love in record time
    • The most important techniques to avoid that the relationship just ended limits you in the future
    • The most powerful exercises to effectively treat pain
    • Advanced tricks to take care of you and "get back on the game"
    • How to find true love and create amazing relationships


    add a comment of How to turn the page and start living again: 8 tips
    Comment sent successfully! We will review it in the next few hours.