You have decided to turn the page? In this article we find out how.
Today is just an ordinary day of all the days to come, but what you will do in all the days to come depends on what you do today.Ernest Hemingway
Changing the page in life is never easy, often due to inconsistencies within us or for fear of giving displeasure to the people around us.
There can be many reasons to push us towards change, sometimes external and other times internal, but in any case we must fully understand the reasons that move our desires.
We must understand where the desire to change our life comes from to study a method that can adapt to our needs.
At the end of the article I will reveal the most powerful resource to turn the page, but let's start from the beginning with a cliché that they repeated until we were exhausted.
Never give up! Um… better than No
Never give up!
How many times have we heard this fateful phrase?
Sometimes I have also used it in my blog, especially in articles dedicated to motivation.
When using generic phrases such as the classic "never give up", we must always try to contextualize its area of application so as not to be fooled.
Because there is something that is not always said: continuing on a dead end road, clinging to the will not to give up at all costs is deleterious.
Sometimes, giving up is the best thing we can do; moving on is the best thing we can do.
It is up to us to increase our awareness to understand if we suffer from a momentary problem, if we can fix what we have, if we have to change the page or maybe completely change book.
Why the desire to move on can be an incredible opportunity for transformation that many people don't know how to exploit.
Let's start with the awareness that we need to change with a seemingly trivial question.
Why do I want to move on?
As I said it is vital to make informed decisions and not based on our emotions temporary.
If in 24 hours our mood changes (even partially), we could change our minds on many roads that now seem to us the only possible way out.
Including this we need to understand why we want to turn the page helping us with some simple questions.
- What is unbearable for me right now?
- What aspects of my life are falling apart?
- Which people prevent me from valuing myself?
- How can I take control of my life?
- What can I still bear?
- Which relationships do I have to end and which ones do I want to continue?
- Are there any goals I would like to achieve?
- Do I still have dreams in the drawer?
- What kind of life do I want to have after moving on?
Answer these questions in writing because what you read next will be of no use to you if you don't have it first became aware of your situation.
Done? Now let's see how to turn the page.
How to turn the page and start living again in 4 steps
# 1 Expel the suffering from the old pages
When we have experienced strong, negative and repeated emotions, there is little to do: we have to expel the pain.
If we are emotionally involved it is best to avoid making hasty decisions and purging the pain.
By accepting and internalizing our feelings, both painful and pleasant ones.
I could advise you to write down your emotions or to talk to someone, but at this stage it would be of little use: first of all it is necessary let some time pass to take the blows of life.
In the meantime, you can read the life lessons I have learned so far and then move on to the second step.
# 2 The standard one that doesn't work
The moment we have absorbed the blow and we want to commit ourselves to move on we need to understand what went wrong until this moment.
We must always keep in mind that as far as we consider the road we have traveled to date to be wrong, we are not wrong.
We are never wrong.
We simply followed a path that did not lead us where we wanted, but however we walked it.
We can therefore count on many skills, knowledge and experiences that will help us in the present and in the future.
Having said this, we need to understand what went wrong in the previous pages of our existence.
Let's start by taking an inventory of everything what we have done in recent years.
- What friendships have we made?
- What school choices have we made?
- What career choices did we have to make?
- What are the events that have determined our life today?
These questions are for browse the pages we have experienced and identify what has led us astray.
Maybe that friendship that took us off track or maybe that job that seemed an obligatory choice to us even though we knew from the start that it would not lead to professional growth.
Or we have the wrong school address or we have limited ourselves to undergo our life without reacting.
All this leafing through the pages of our life serves to increase our awareness of who we are, where we wanted to be and where we are right now.
We manage our present better when we are aware of our past.
# 3 The courage to dream and move on
With the first two steps we have increased awareness of our life, now it is time to evaluate and reflect on what we want for our future.
Obviously what we deem ourselves capable of achieving determines what we may achieve.
If we limit ourselves to dreaming of being an electrician, it is very difficult that we will be able to work for a company that produces space shuttles, right?
So it's better to dream big.
It doesn't matter if we don't fully reach our goal in the end, just focusing on an ambitious goal will allow us to go much further than we would if we dreamed miserably.
Aiming for a 5% salary increase is not enough to activate the energies we have inside, we have to aim much higher.
We have to dream in an immeasurable way.
Ask yourself what you would like to do in life and what really great goals you would like to achieve.
We live better when the forecasts for the future are optimistic.
# 4 Act on your habits (and tidy up)
The last step for turn the page it is the most practical and concrete.
If you have done the exercise we saw in point # 2 you will have noticed that it is not just sudden events that lead us astray, but the actions we repeat every day: habits.
Maybe years ago we promised ourselves to stay fit and with a decent physique for life, but then, little by little we let ourselves go.
Or maybe we have been telling each other for months that we want to change that damn job, but in the end we never get anything done because we always do the same things every day.
We do not cut out the time for our training, we are always attached to complaints or what others think of us.
To turn the page and transform our lives, we need to change our habits, our beliefs and our routines.
How to do?
First of all we have to clean up our mind.
The simplest way to rearrange our mind is to act in the material world around us.
So start cleaning, tidying up and reorganizing your space, from home to your car, you will see that everything will seem to make sense.
To really turn the page you need something more structured, guided, definitive.
The ultimate way to turn the page
The bigger the why, the smaller the how.Jim Rohn
Before I reveal the most effective resource for moving on, I must ask you: how serious is your intention to change your life?
You must know that 95% of those who read this article will think they cannot change their life, 1% will move something in their mind and only 0,01% will try to move on (empirical statistics).
In fact, our brain aims to survive, not to live, so it sends us signals that sometimes go against our growth just to see ourselves moving forward, even if it means dragging ourselves along aimlessly.
We also often say we want a change but in reality we are not willing to change even one iota of our existence.
If you mean STOP to all these mental mechanisms you have to turn the page.
Because if you really want to change your life you don't have to be absent, but pick it up and start planning it very carefully.