In today's guide we will address a very delicate and, in some ways, even complex issue: how to save a marriage. Relationships are never easy, but when you become a spouse, even more complex dynamics take over.
And today we are here to find out what these dynamics are but, above all, to understand how to save a marriage in crisis and try to come out winners from any difficulty.
In fact, no relationship crisis is powerful enough to separate two people who really want to be together. The question is: do you really want to be together?
Is saving a marriage possible?
This is one of the questions that pops up when a marriage is experiencing one down phase. On the other hand, if things went well, neither partner would wonder if it is possible to save their relationship.
However, you don't have to worry, because a marriage in crisis can be saved. Of course, that doesn't mean it's simple, especially because it is collaboration required of both spouses.
But, even before collaboration, to save a marriage there must be full will to succeed. In other words, beyond the moment of difficulty, misunderstanding and estrangement that you are experiencing, it is necessary that you both look in the same direction.
What I'm trying to ask you is: Are you sure you want to save your marriage? Are you ready to give your best to keep being together? Is Carrying On Your Relationship Really What You Want?
If there is no solid foundation to work on, it is very difficult to achieve the goal. I'm not saying it's impossible, but let's say that the games get very complicated if one of the two partners is unwilling to continue the marriage.
As a result, the first step you will need to take is to talk to your partner and make sure they think the same way you do too. This, believe me, makes ahuge difference.
How to save a marriage in crisis
As anticipated, saving a marriage is not easy. It is a journey that requires time, patience, energy, willpower and love. If you are willing to embark on this path, however, you are already well advanced.
The first thing you will need to do is be honest with each other. Sit down at your table, bring out anything you think is not working and don't be afraid to say something "wrong".
If you don't know your partner's thoughts and feelings it is very difficult to team up and work towards reaching them common goals. Perhaps, speaking to you, you may understand that your marriage is not really in crisis, but that it is experiencing a moment of passing difficulty.
And believe me, there is a huge difference, also because the temporary moment of difficulty happens sooner or later to any couple, it is easier to manage and, if "taken" in the right way, it could lead you to be even more united.
In short, before thinking about how to save the marriage, make sure that it really needs to be saved. Once you get it the picture of the situation is clear you can get to work.
Read also: How to overcome all relationship problems.
Saving a marriage: the path to take
First, focus on what each of you can do in your own singularity. This means that you don't have to start demanding changes in your partner, but you have to think about the improvements you can make on yourself.
You cannot ask without giving, especially when it comes to saving a marriage in crisis. During the chat, then, it is normal for requests to come out, because since nobody's perfect, it is legitimate to question oneself and be ready to meet the needs of the partner.
In short, everything is based on a right balance between "I know I have to improve, but I ask you for a little improvement too". At the same time, in order to save the marriage it is important that both of you know the reasons why you wish to be together again.
And here, to be fair, I don't want to give you any ideas. This is a very important and personal passage, which will need to be discussed and deepened between the two of you. What I can do, to help you, is tell you to understand what the strengths of your wedding.
Focusing on what is wrong, what disappoints you, or what hurts you will get you nowhere. To solve a problem you need to focus on solutions, and not about the problem itself.
Consequently, try to see the glimmers of light, because they will be the ones who will give you the strength to unite and to move forward. A great way to avoid ending your marriage, in addition to all these tips, is don't make the mistake to believe that with another partner you can achieve eternal and trouble-free happiness.
No couple, relationship or marriage is without difficulties. And indeed, usually, the dynamics of the couple they tend to recur and recur. Consequently, before "pulling the oars into the boat", give your all and do not look at your partner as if the moment of crisis you are experiencing it was caused only by him / her.
How to save a marriage when the other party doesn't want to
As we said at the beginning, the situation could also arise in which only one of the two partners wants to save the marriage, while the other would prefer close and turn the page. In this case, getting the relationship going is much, much more difficult.
It is necessary to do immense work of communication, dialogue and understanding, which does not even necessarily lead to the desired result. On the other hand, you can't think of forcing your partner to spend the rest of his life with you, if that's not what he wants.
In fact, since it is a very particular and delicate situation, it would be advisable to rely on a couple therapist, which can bring to light your problems and understand the dynamics of your marriage.
Here too, however, the partner must be consenting. If it opposes the path, there isn't much you can do. In some cases, in fact, there is no other solution than to step aside for a moment, leave room for the spouse and accept his removal.
Probably, when he feels he has "carte blanche" and is no longer under pressure and forced into married life, he will be able to reflect calmly and serenely on what he really wants, perhaps rediscovering the feelings he has towards you.
To learn more about this concept and understand how to win back the love of a spouse who wants to leave you, I invite you to read our article on how to win back your husband. You will find within it many extremely useful ideas to recover your current situation, even if it seems desperate now.
How to save a marriage after a betrayal
Ultimately, among the many situations that undermine and weigh on a marriage is betrayal. Unfortunately, adultery is much more common than you think, and it is a trend in sharp deterioration.
Today, in fact, it is rare to find two spouses who have not faced betrayal within their marriage. But how do you do it? How do you manage to overlook sexual or sentimental extramarital experiences?
Here too, unfortunately, it is not easy, and a great deal of work is needed from both partners. As always, in order to save the marriage, it is important that it is a common desire, even more so when it comes to betrayal.
What we need to focus on is the rebuilding trust and forgiveness phase. If the betrayed partner can't get over the grudge they feel about what happened, it is very difficult for the marriage to get out of it safe and intact.
On the other hand, clearly, this is not a path that he will have to face alone or in "autonomy". There is a very, very need for the partner who made the mistake to work hard to prove, above all, of understand your mistake.
Let's say these are just the basics from which to start in order to save a marriage after a betrayal, but since this is a very delicate and complex issue, in most cases it is necessary to refer to a marriage counselor.