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    How to overcome abandonment in 5 steps

    Who I am
    Louise Hay
    @louisehay
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    Starting over after a bad romance can be very difficult. Having to overcome abandonment is a complicated moment in a person's life and it is absolutely essential to react immediately and in the best way. 

    Unfortunately most people have to overcome an abandonment makes mistakes that can make it more difficult to restart successfully. 

    In this article you will learn how to overcome abandonment and what are the concepts you need to focus on in order to get your life back on track and get back on track.



    Before analyzing the individual strategies, I invite you to run our quick love disappointment test, which helps you understand what mistakes you are making and what stage of your healing process you are in.

    How to overcome abandonment

    Here are the best strategies you need to apply to get started successfully. 

    1. Focus on what you can control

    It can be one of the hardest things to do, but when you're experiencing abandonment, it's essential to stop thinking about your partner. 


    Regardless of why it's over between you two, you and your ex-partner are unlikely to get back together. Learning to forget it completely helps you get started again. 


    Often things in life do not go as we would like; it's a difficult thing to accept but the sooner we do it the sooner we can overcome a difficulty. 

    Thinking about why we live in abandonment, trying to understand if your ex partner is dating some other person, constantly checking his wall on social networks ... these are behaviors that do not help you to overcome this moment of your life. 

    Take all the time you need, but decide today that you no longer care about the life of those who led you to experience abandonment. Now you have the opportunity to focus on yourself: it's not easy but it's worth it.

    Most of the people who wonder how to overcome abandonment they make the mistake of staying focused on their ex partner's life for too long. 

    You can't control his behaviors but you can control yours. You cannot change another person but you can change yourself and this is what you need to achieve serenity!

    If you focus on the life of the person who hurt you, your pain will increase. 

    If, on the other hand, you focus on yourself, you will be able to be happy again and this will allow you to overcome abandonment much faster.



    2. Invest in yourself 

    Overcoming abandonment is also a great opportunity to focus on your life and improve it. You can use this situation, where you also have more free time, to develop new habits and achieve your goals. 


    To invest in yourself in the right way and raise your morale, consider which of these activities can help you the most: 

    • Take time for yourself and your priorities
    • Hang out with your friends more often
    • Doing the activities you love most often
    • Start meditating every day
    • Focus more on who loves you
    • Volunteer, or some other activity to help others
    • Join the gym (or if you are already enrolled, try harder) 
    • Read one of the 8 books to overcome a disappointment in love
    • Make your diet and lifestyle healthier
    • Strive every day to achieve your most important goals 
    • Start keeping a personal journal in which you write down your thoughts and progress
    • Start practicing yoga or another discipline that improves your psychophysical well-being. 

    What I have listed for you are just ideas to build on how to overcome the abandonment of the loved oneBut the important thing is that you evaluate which activity makes you feel deeply good and start doing it more often. 


    3. Take your time 

    To be able to forget a person, you first need a little patience.

    Before going back to hanging out with your friends and going to the same places you visited with the person you want to forget, take your time. 

    It is not helpful to try to forget a person overnight. It takes time and for each it is different due to certain factors such as how long you have been together, how much you cared about this relationship and what you expected from it.


    It doesn't matter if you know people who have overcome abandonment in a very short time or others who have taken years. Don't compare yourself to anyone, because everyone is unique. 

    Furthermore, if you apply the strategies contained in the article: "how to forget a person you love - this is what psychology says" it will become much easier to put your life back on track.

    4. Ask yourself the right questions

    It probably helps to pass some time but that won't fix things. The only person who can change this situation in your life… is you! 

    Put yourself at the center of your priorities, decide to react productively to abandonment, and use this situation to improve your life.  

    Most important of all the difficulties we experience is how we choose to react. We cannot decide what happens to us in our life, but we can choose how to behave after something has happened to us. 

    Faced with an event such as abandonment, a person can remain in negative moods for a long time or he can react and use what happened to become wiser and better. 

    So choose to react in the way that is most productive for you. To do this ask yourself:

    • What can I learn from this event?
    • What is the best reaction I can have?
    • What do I need to focus on now to improve my life?

    The answers to these questions will give you an interesting starting point to understand how to overcome the abandonment of the loved one.

    5. Don't blame yourself 

    It often happens that when a person has to overcome abandonment, he begins to blame himself or to think that he has done everything wrong in life. 

    It's normal feeling down in the dumps after what happened, but you must not allow your mind to label you as unable as this will worsen your self-esteem. 

    Don't blame yourself for what happened and don't rush to conclusions. You could not have known that the other person would have behaved in this way and therefore you are not at fault. 

    When you trust a person and he betrays him, the individual who made a mistake is the one who betrayed the trust that was placed in him and not the one who trusted. 

    After abandonment, people decide never to trust others again. This attitude is absolutely understandable but it is not the most suitable.

    True, one person has betrayed your trust, but there are tons of amazing people in the world who would never have behaved this way. So be careful not to make these two mistakes: 

    • Blame yourself 
    • Stop trusting other people
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