How to help a depressed person 🆙

Helping a depressed person is not easy and it is not always clear how to do it, especially if it is a loved one. In this article we will discover how to approach this arduous task.

Your support and encouragement can play an important role in your loved one's healing. Here's how to make a difference.

WARNING: This article is for informational purposes only, we do not take any responsibility. Always contact your doctor before taking any personal initiative.

How can I help a depressed person?

Depression is a serious but treatable psychological disorder that affects millions of people, from young to old and from all walks of life. It interferes with everyday life, causing tremendous pain, hurting not only those who suffer from it, but also everyone around them.

If someone you love is depressed, you may experience a range of difficult emotions to deal with, such as helplessness, frustration, anger, fear, guilt, and sadness. These feelings are normal. Dealing with a friend or family member's depression is not easy. And if you neglect your mental health, it can become overwhelming.

That said, your company and support can be crucial to your loved one's healing. It can help them cope with the symptoms of depression, overcome negative thoughts, and regain energy, optimism, and joy in life. Start by learning as much as you can about depression and find out the best way to talk about it with your friends or family. But do not forget to take care of your emotional health: you will need it to provide all the support your loved one needs.

Understanding depression in a friend or family member

Depression is a serious condition. Don't underestimate the seriousness of depression. Depression is a condition that depletes a person's energy, optimism, and motivation. The depressed loved one cannot simply "get out" with willpower alone.

The symptoms of depression are not personal. Depression makes it hard for a person to connect on a deep emotional level with someone, even those they love the most. It is also common for depressed people to say hurtful things and vent their anger. Remember that the depression is doing the talking, not your loved one, so try not to take it personally.

Hiding the problem will not make it go away. It doesn't help anyone if you try to make excuses, ignore the problem, or lie to a depressed friend or family member. In fact, ignoring it can prevent the depressed person from seeking a cure.

Your loved one is not lazy or unmotivated. When you have depression, the very thought of doing the things that can help you get better can feel exhausting or impossible to do. Be patient as you encourage your loved one to take the first small steps toward healing.

You can't "fix" someone else's depression. As much as you want, you can't save someone from depression or solve the problem. You are not to blame for your loved one's depression, nor are you responsible for their happiness (or lack thereof). While you can offer love and support, recovery ultimately rests in the hands of the depressed person.

Recognizing the symptoms of depression in a loved one

Family and friends are often the first line of defense in the fight against depression. That's why it's important to understand the signs and symptoms of depression. You may notice the problem of depression in a former loved one, and your influence and concern may motivate them to seek help.

Worry about the person you love:

He doesn't seem to care anymore. You lost interest in work, sex, hobbies, and other pleasurable activities. She withdrew from friends, family, and other social activities.

Expresses a gloomy or negative view of life. Is unusually sad, irritable, short-tempered, critical, or moody; he talks about feeling "helpless" or "hopeless."

Often complains of aches and pains such as pain headache, stomach problems and back pain. Or you complain of always feeling tired and without energy.

You sleep less than usual or sleep too much. He has become indecisive, forgetful, disorganized, and "out of it."

Eating more or less than usualand have recently gained or lost weight.

Drink more or abuse drugs, including sleeping pills and pain relievers, as a way to relieve your condition.

How to talk to someone about depression

Sometimes it's hard to know what to say when discussing depression with a loved one. She may fear that if she raises her concerns, the person will get angry, insult her, or ignore her point of view. You may not be sure what questions to ask or how to provide support.

If you don't know where to start, the following tips can help you. But remember that being a compassionate listener is much more important than giving advice. You don't have to try to "fix" your friend or family member; you just have to be a good listener. Simply talking face-to-face can often be of great help to those suffering from depression. Encourage the depressed person to talk about their feelings and be willing to listen without judgment.

Don't expect one conversation to be enough to solve all problems. Depressed people tend to withdraw from others and isolate themselves. You may need to express your concern and willingness to listen over and over again. Be kind, but persistent.

How to start the conversation

Finding a way to start a conversation about depression with your loved one is always the hardest part. You could try saying:

"I've been a little worried about you lately."
"Recently I've noticed some differences in you and wondered how you are doing."
"I wanted to check in with you because you seemed pretty down lately."

Once you've started talking, you can ask questions like:

“When did you start feeling this way?
“Did something happen that made you feel this way?
“How can I best support you right now?
“Have you thought about asking for help?

Remember, being supportive means offering encouragement and hope. Very often it involves speaking to the person in a language they can understand and respond to when they are in a depressed state of mind.

Here are some tips on what to say and what not to say when talking to a depressed person.

What to say to help someone with depression:

"You are not alone. I am here for you in this difficult time."
"It may be hard to believe right now, but you won't always feel this way, sooner or later it will."
"Please tell me what I can do now to help you."
"Even if I can't understand exactly how you feel, I care about you and want to help you."
"You are important to me. Your life is important to me."
"When you want to give up, tell yourself that you will only hold on for one more day, one hour or one minute, whatever you can."

What to avoid:

"It's all in your head"
"Everyone goes through difficult times."
"Try to look on the bright side."
"Why do you want to let go when you have so much to live for?"
"I can't do anything for your situation."
"Make an effort and move on."
"You should feel better now."

Cwhat to do when the risk of suicide is real

If you think your loved one is at immediate risk of suicide, DO NOT leave them alone and call a suicide prevention helpline such as Helpline or the police if the danger is extremely imminent.

It can be hard to believe that the person you know and love would consider something as drastic as suicide, but a depressed person may see no other way out. Depression clouds judgment and distorts thinking, leading a normally rational person to believe that death is the only way to end the pain he feels.

Since suicide is a very real danger when someone is depressed, it's important to know the main warning signs:

Talking about suicide, dying, or harming yourself
Express feelings of despair or self-hatred.
Act in a dangerous or self-destructive manner.
order and greet
Look for pills, weapons or other lethal items
Show a sudden sense of calm after depression.

If you think a friend or family member might be considering suicide, don't wait, talk to them about your concerns. Many people feel uncomfortable bringing up the subject, but it's one of the best things to do for someone considering suicide. Talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a person's life, so speak up if you're worried and seek professional help right away!

How to encourage a depressed person to seek help

While you can't heal a depressed person against their will, you can start by encouraging the depressed person to seek help. Placing a depressed person in care can be difficult. Depression drains energy and motivation, so even the act of making an appointment or finding a doctor can seem daunting to your loved one. Also, because depression is accompanied by a constant stream of negative thoughts, the depressed person may believe that their situation is hopeless and that treatment is useless.

Because of these obstacles, getting your loved one to admit the problem and help them understand that it can be resolved is an essential step in recovering from depression.

If a friend or family member objects to asking for help:

Suggest a general checkup with a doctor. Your loved one may be less anxious to see a family doctor than a psychologist. A regular visit to the doctor is actually a great option, as the doctor can rule out medical causes of depression. If your doctor diagnoses depression, your loved one may be referred to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Sometimes this "professional" opinion makes all the difference.

Offer to help the depressed person find a doctor or therapist and accompany them on the first visit. Finding the right professional can be difficult and is often a trial and error process. For a depressed person who already has low energy, it is helpful to get help making phone calls and evaluating options.

Encourage your loved one to make a comprehensive list of symptoms and ailments to discuss with their doctor. You can also mention things you've noticed as an outside observer, such as "You seem to feel much worse in the morning" or "You always have a stomach ache before you go to work."

How to support your loved one's treatment

One of the most important things you can do to help a friend or family member with depression is to give them your unconditional love and support throughout the treatment process. This involves being compassionate and patient, which isn't always easy when dealing with the negativity, hostility, and mood that go hand in hand with depression.

Provide the assistance the person needs (and is willing to accept). Help your loved one make and keep appointments, research treatment options, and stay on schedule for any prescribed treatment.

Have realistic expectations. It can be frustrating to see a depressed friend or family member struggle, especially if progress is slow or stagnant. Being patient is important. Even with optimal treatment, recovery from depression does not happen overnight.

Lead by example. Encourage the person to lead a healthier, mood-enhancing lifestyle by doing it yourself: stay positive, eat better, avoid alcohol and drugs, exercise, and lean on others for support.

Dare to do new activities. Invite your loved one to join you in uplifting activities, like going to a fun movie or dining at your favorite restaurant. Exercise is especially helpful, so try to get a depressed person moving. Walking together is one of the easiest options. Be kind and lovingly persevering, don't be discouraged and don't stop asking.

Be accommodating whenever possible. Seemingly small tasks can be very difficult for someone who is depressed to handle. Offer to help with household responsibilities or chores, but only do what you can, without being bullied!

don't forget to take care of yourself

There's a natural drive to want to solve the problems of people we care about, but you can't control someone else's depression. However, you can control how well you take care of yourself. It's just as important for you to stay healthy as it is for the depressed person to get treatment, so make your well-being a priority.

Remember the advice of airline flight attendants: put on your oxygen mask before helping others. In other words, make sure your health and happiness are solid before you try to help someone who is depressed. It won't do a friend or family member any good if they collapse under pressure while trying to help. When your needs are met, you will have the energy to help.

Talk about how you feel. You may be hesitant to react when the depressed person upsets or disappoints you. However, honest communication will help the relationship in the long run. If you are grieving in silence and letting resentment build, your loved one will pick up on these negative emotions and feel even worse. Talk gently about how you feel before pent-up emotions make sensitive communication difficult.

Set limits. Of course you want to help, but you can't do much. Your health will suffer if you let your loved one's depression control your life. You can't be a 24/24 caregiver without paying a psychological price. To avoid burnout and resentment, set clear limits on what you're willing and able to do. You are not your loved one's therapist, so do not assume this responsibility.

Keep up with your life. While some changes to your daily routine may be unavoidable while caring for your friend or relative, do your best to stick to your commitments and schedules with your friends. If your depressed loved one can't make a trip or trip you've planned, ask a friend to come along.

Learn to say no: how, when and why

Find support. You are NOT misleading your depressed relative or friend by asking others for support. Joining a support group, talking to a counselor or priest, or confiding in a trusted friend will help you get through this difficult time. You don't have to go into detail about your loved one's depression or betray confidences; instead, focus on your emotions and what you feel. Make sure you are totally honest with the person you are talking to: choose someone who will listen to you without interrupting you and without judging you.

WARNING: This article is for informational purposes only, we do not take any responsibility. Always contact your doctor before taking any personal initiative.