How to Effectively Approach a Girl on Instagram

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Louise Hay

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If you are looking for how to approach a girl on Instagram or any other social network like Facebook, Tinder, TikTok, etc... our complete guide will give you tips on how to send a direct message (DM) to a girl. right path and get to know him.

Girls are constantly receiving tons of weird and creepy messages from guys on Instagram and because of this it becomes harder for genuine guys like you to be able to approach a girl in this way. But you don't have to worry. The tips that I am going to share will help you in this arduous task!

Texting a girl is just like communicating with any girl in real life. It can be difficult, but if you do it right, you can get a date with her in no time. If you are confused or stuck, keep reading this article so I can show you that it is not as difficult as it seems.

In the past we have already talked about how to start a conversation with a girl, in this guide the concepts will not be very different. You just have to be more careful with your behavior, as text messages are much more misunderstood than face-to-face communication.

What is a direct message or direct message (DM)?

The DM or direct message is a way to send a private message to another user that can only be seen and read by that user and no one else, so you can chat in private. The way to send a DM is pretty much the same on any social media app. DM is a.

If you want to text a girl first, you have to follow her, and likewise, if you want to receive a DM from the girl, she has to follow you. If this does not happen, the message will be placed as a pending request and will need to be acknowledged by the recipient. Unlike Instagram, some social media apps allow you to DM a girl without following her.

How to Approach a Girl on Instagram Without Being Creepy

Before we get into the details, there are two things to keep in mind. First, you need to show the girl that you are not just another desperate guy who flirts with all the girls he sees on Instagram and sends the same message to everyone.

And second, you need to have the right mindset and personality to pull it off effectively.

It may take some time to go in the right direction, so you have to be patient.

Read the following tips, follow them or improvise them and get to work.

How to effectively approach a girl on Instagram:

Trust in ti mismo

Confidence is the most important factor that any guy needs if he wants to approach a girl. If you doubt yourself thinking that you are not good enough for her, then your chances of being rejected are much higher.

You have to be aware of yourself and your worth.

A girl needs a man to make her life more beautiful and not spoil it. She wants her man to be with her through thick and thin. Every time you text or DM a girl online, don't put yourself down, she always shows that you have solid self-esteem. The Internet provides all the privacy you need, so there is nothing to fear.

Please read again before you send that message.

Before you send that message to a girl, reread it at least once to make sure you haven't made any mistakes. It only takes a few more seconds. Girls pay close attention to detail and will judge you for even the smallest typos.

Make sure your message is perfect. You are not trying to impress the girl with your grammar, but to show her that you are a caring and responsible person. Click the send button only when you are sure that you have written the message correctly.

Realize you can't always win

Before you even decide to text a girl, it's important to realize and start with the right expectations. Because of all the creeps and scammers going around social media, most women don't even bother to check their DMs.

But that does not mean that all women are the same and that you will never meet any girl through Instagram. If so, I wouldn't even bother writing this guide. What I am trying to say is that not all your posts can be successful. To achieve success you have to go through failure.

Understanding how to approach a girl on Instagram and social media is an art, it takes time and patience to perfect.

So don't freak out too much just because a girl didn't respond to your message. This is something you have no control over. Get over it and move on.

Consult and interact with your profile

A woman's profile can tell a lot about her that awkward guys don't normally pay attention to. This will help you stand out from the rest.

Look at their profile description, their photos, their captions, their responses to other people's comments. They will help you build a picture of who you are, your likes and dislikes, your values, how you treat others.

This valuable information will help you tackle it the right way. When you understand a person, you can have a real, authentic conversation with them and make a connection.

Once you've checked out her profile, follow her, like her posts, and interact like any normal person would before contacting her via DM.

This doesn't mean you have to like every photo they post in a matter of seconds. Just interact as you would with a regular friend. Once she gets used to seeing you in her notifications, it will be more natural to communicate with her.

Just don't go and like your posts that were published 3 or 4 years ago. This will simply make you look like a misfit. There is a fine line between engaging with your profile and being pushy.

Don't get caught when you look at their profile

Be anonymous every time you search or view your social media profile, and don't do anything that makes you feel like someone is constantly harassing you. He's stalking us on social media, but please don't get caught.

Check if you have mutual friends.

Having mutual friends can work in your favor because it will give the girl enough of a reason to trust you and accept your friend request. This is also one of the factors that girls use to avoid guys who approach them.

She will open up better if there are people she knows in her social life. Fake and fraudulent profiles have become a concern for girls more than ever, so they will make you feel much safer if you have friends in common.

It will also help you turn your online contact into a real date.

Respond to their stories

If you want a more valid and natural reason to text her, then instead of commenting on her photos or surprising her with a direct message, you can simply reply to her stories. Girls expect feedback when they post stories and usually respond in a friendly way to those who do.

For example, if the girl uploaded a photo of a restaurant you also visited, you could comment something like “Are you at [restaurant name]? In my opinion, they eat very well, their pizza is fantastic."

Your first message to that girl doesn't have to be anything other than: keep it simple and natural.

Don't get mad if you get rejected

In some cases, girls don't agree with the concept of direct messages and they may reject you out of hand or just don't bother to respond. And there could be many reasons why he doesn't like DMs.

If you ever meet a girl like that and get rejected, don't be mad.

Don't even dream of making negative comments, criticizing her, mistreating her or anything like that.

You'll look like an idiot and get a bad reputation.

There are so many girls on social media. She just finds another one and starts over.

Don't start with a compliment

This is what slimy guys do. They think that complimenting a girl on her photo or DM her will impress her. And if you have nothing more to say and you don't know what you want to convey to the girl, you will be tempted to start with a compliment.

But many guys before you have tried to approach that girl with a compliment, you run the risk of completely lacking originality. Nor will it be a sincere or genuine compliment. The girl will only see you as another person who is trying to hit on her.

Sending text messages like "You look beautiful" or "Wow, you're so hot" is a sure way to get ignored or blocked forever.

NB: Girls like to receive compliments, but only if they are genuine and very specific, like about clothes, makeup, or personality. Avoid physical compliments. And only give compliments after you've broken the ice, never as a first approach.

Know more...

Sooner or later you will have to find out who you have in front of you: if that girl is single, engaged or homosexual; if you have interests and passions in common; if they are compatible in character.

If you want to ask more original questions than the other guys who have approached her on Instagram, check out our other guide.

be patient

If you've sent her a DM, it's been a while and you still haven't gotten any response from her, don't start messing with her. Don't even try to confront her on her public timeline or on her wall, telling her that she doesn't respond to your messages.

Also, don't put her down or talk negatively about her just because she didn't respond to your approach attempt. Be a gentleman and accept her response maturely.

On the other hand, she may be busy with many things or even travel to a place without internet. She waits a bit before coming to the conclusion that she is not interested in you.

If she was really into reading your first text, but then reads your other texts where you trash her, you've completely destroyed your chances of success with her.

You'll also come across as a desperate person if he's just bombarding his inbox with creepy messages.

Only write them if you have something to say.

No matter how much in love you are with her, don't constantly direct message her every time she uploads a picture or posts an update. You will show yourself as a desperate or needy person.

There are no hard and fast rules about how often you owe a girl Instagram. Be natural and only write them down if she has something to talk about.

be clear what you want

Are you looking for a girl just for an adventure or to build a real relationship? Are you too far away to really know her? Are you looking to turn your fantasies into reality?

The girl you are approaching should be clear about your intentions so that you can decide if she is interested in you or not. If not, how is she going to know what you are proposing to her if you don't highlight it in your conversation?

Obviously you don't have to do this in your first message, it would give a bad impression. Take enough time to get to know each other and make sure you both reflect on each other's interests. If you're just looking for a friendship with benefits, then don't be too romantic.

You would break the heart of an innocent girl and she would never be the same again. Be honest with her and don't make promises you don't intend to keep.

Be natural

Keep the conversation natural as if you were talking to anyone. You have to approach her as you normally would with any other girl in public: with respect, genuine interest, and poise.

Once you get past the initial phase, you can start texting a little more flirty. But before that, you need to make sure the girl is comfortable taking the conversation to the next level.

Try to keep a certain balance in your conversation and don't push too hard on the gas. Girls don't like to rush things, be it in casual conversations or in bed.

Have you met her somewhere before?

If you've met the girl somewhere before, you'll have a much more valid reason to approach her on Instagram.

Even a simple DM like: “Hi Okay, your dance was really good. Did you win the race? I couldn't stay till the end." is all you need to let her know you know each other and it will be a good place to start.

From here, you can start contacting her normally like you would in any text conversation.

be a classy boy

Once you're both comfortable, it's okay to flirt a little or maybe even make subtle advances. But it is necessary to keep the class and not act like slimy.

What you shouldn't do is start sexting just because the girl responded to your DM. Avoid it completely if you don't want to come across as perverted.

Before you start flirting, you'll also want to find out if he really likes you or not.

Don't pass for a stalker

If you say things about what you know about her, you will scare her. Don't talk like a stalker when you DM him. If you speak as if you know everything about her, you will be blocked faster than the speed of light.

No matter what you know about her, pretend you don't. Don't give her the impression that you're "spying" on her.

don't be desperate

Your girlfriend will only see you as another desperate guy if you harass her with impersonal, deceitful, and unnatural messages. She can clearly understand that you are just copying and pasting the same message to 20 other girls.

Also, just remember that there are plenty of other guys trying to impress her just like you. If you want to stand out from the rest and get noticed, then you must be unique compared to others. Play it cool and keep your thirst to a minimum.

She gives off cool and positive vibes that will make it hard for her to ignore you. And don't worry if you're not super kinky or "arrogant", keep your conversations casual.

Do not send or ask naked

Another obvious tip, but there are guys out there still doing it now. This can be one of the worst ways to approach a girl, unless the girl expects the same.

Just because you want to see the girl naked doesn't mean the girl wants the same thing too. Don't even think about asking her to send you nudes or even send her pictures of your genitals. You will never hear it again.

Do not use jokes to flirt.

"You are a thief? Because you stole my heart” is no longer nice to say. Pickup lines have been beaten to death and are no longer engaging or fun. Your girlfriend can yawn and freeze you forever. Time to grow.

Remember that you are not alone

As I said earlier, you are not the only person who will try to impress a girl. A girl's inbox is usually quite full. And if the girl is very attractive and has thousands of followers, she may not even have enough time to respond to all the messages.

If you want to stand out from the crowd, then you need to write messages that are unique and steer clear of common clichés. This might seem like obvious advice, but you need to have a decent conversation with the girl if you want to have any chance of her replying to your message.

Don't start by wishing her a good day, complimenting her, or asking her the usual intrusive questions.

Try to approach a girl on Instagram by taking advantage of something you have in common, your interest or passion.

Give her a reason to reply

Your DM should be written in such a way that you are likely to reply. If you send him something that isn't a question or doesn't give him a reason to respond, then your DM is already in a bind because he won't know how to respond.

Also make sure the DM you send has something you're interested in. You can do this by checking out their profile; he will give you enough ideas for your first outreach message.

Don't talk about sensitive topics.

Keep your messages free from politics, religion, and other sensitive topics. You should keep your conversations healthy and not talk about anything that might offend her or you as well.

don't always be serious

You might scare the girl if you're always serious. Try to keep your conversations fun and witty. She finds light topics to talk about. She uses your sense of humor and make her smile.

If you come off as friendly and fun, then you're giving her every reason to respond.

Put a date

Chatting online is the first step to building a real relationship, but for the chemistry to work, you need to meet the girl in real life. It is true that a feeling can develop when chatting online, but true chemistry only develops when meeting face to face.

If all you're doing is direct messaging him and that's not helping you plan a real date, then all your hard work is going to go to waste. Remember that true romance happens offline. Social media will only help you with your presentation.

Only you can turn it into a real date. Don't limit yourself to social media. Once you both feel comfortable with each other, find the right opportunity and schedule a meeting with her.


In this guide we have tried to explain how to approach a girl on Instagram.

Becoming an expert in direct messaging (DM) is getting harder and harder. But if you do things calmly and using your head, you will realize that it is not so difficult or complicated.

The Internet gives you all the tools you need to make it easier for you to connect with the girl you like, unlike several years ago when such conveniences weren't available.

Today you can talk to any girl you want and start a relationship without having to have a personal connection with her. Being honest and avoiding being creepy is the right way to approach a girl on Instagram and any other platform (and in real life too).

If you want me to be serious, then be the best version of yourself. The first thing a girl analyzes when she receives your DM is your intentions. Make the best first impression and close the deal. Get it right and the rest will be easy. Good luck.

PS: Knowing how to approach a girl on Instagram is just the beginning, check out the other posts on seduction ↓↓↓

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