How to choose a lifelong mate

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Louise Hay

How to choose a lifelong mate

Last update: April 15, 2015

Sometimes love stories come and go: coexistence is never easy, sooner or later differences come to the surface and affection fades, a sense of mistrust emerges and loneliness ends up occupying too large a space between two people who, despite sharing the same bed, have an ocean of distance between them. Why does this happen? Is it really so difficult to find someone who fits perfectly into our life? Someone to accompany us over the years, through difficult times and happy ones? True, it is not always easy, but it is possible.

Sometimes we let ourselves be carried away by passion without being able to objectively observe the person in front of us: it is as if we had a veil over our eyes that prevent us from objectively analyzing other essential aspects and dimensions, which would bring us closer to the perfect person for us. Would you like to know what is the secret to succeeding?

1. When you have to choose, close your eyes.

It is normal that, in many situations, a person's physical appearance is one of the main elements we consider: it is an excellent business card and the one that awakens the initial attraction. However, we must be cautious: everyday life and coexistence will need to be based on other fundamental pillars that will allow us to enjoy every moment with our partner. Understanding, care, affection, kindness, sense of humor, listening skills, empathy… Don't let yourself be carried away by appearances alone.

2. Mature people, able to learn and listen

Maintaining a relationship with an insecure person makes the relationship much more difficult. In fact, insecurity is very often projected onto the other: those who do not value themselves, those who have not developed their skills in order to get by on their own, to feel capable, confident and with aadequate self-esteem, will not trust even in the partner. He will be afraid of being left and will become more insecure and jealous. These are aspects that we must take into consideration. When we consider a partner who can accompany us day after day, during all the years we have left to live, in happy moments as in sad ones, it is always better to find a person who is confident, courageous and with good self-esteem.

If, moreover, he is happy to learn new things every day, the personal enrichment in the couple will be even greater. In fact, learning allows us to survive and opens new doors for us. Creative people not only make our life easier, but also more stimulating.

3. Must be able to express, feel, communicate… and laugh

We all know the importance of having a good sense of humor, knowing how to laugh and relativize situations by considering them from a more positive and full of goodwill point of view. Undoubtedly, life will be full of difficult moments, situations in which we will need to have the support of a partner and in which the mutual ability to communicate and feel heard will be decisive.. Having the help and support of a person with whom we can naturally open up is essential for our balance and for the development of the couple. People who are capable of feeling and expressing feelings, of saying what hurts them, what makes them happy or what worries them, are certainly men or women who are always nice to have as companions.

4. Choose a person with a rich inner life and who shares your passions

When we speak of "inner life", we are referring to essential ability to feed one's passions, have interests in life and something we believe in. A small world only ours in which we find our space, a personal corner that must be respected within the couple and that allows us to grow on a personal level. This in no way means that we cannot share passions and interests with our partner or partner: indeed, being life companions means first of all being friends, forming a team, having fun and growing together, having common values ​​that strengthen the relationship. Of course, always respecting personal space.

5. Tolerance

Finding a partner for life means first of all finding a person who allows us to grow next to her / him in a harmonious and happy way. Someone who makes our life bigger, not smaller. Tolerance, therefore, is essential: he must be able to accept our defects, our mistakes and errors, he must be a person with whom dialogue is always possible, without fear or mistrust being born. Tolerance must be mutual: you must to be friends and lovers, feel brave enough to build a life together and nurture the roots of the tree you build together. In this way, no storm will be able to bring it down, even as the years go by.

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