How to be happy regardless of everything and everyone

Who I am
Robert Maurer
@robertmaurer
SOURCES CONSULTED:

wikipedia.org

Author and references
One day a teacher asked a boy of just seven for that
he wanted to grow up. The boy replied, "I want to be happy." The teacher looked stunned and said, "You didn't understand the question."

To which the boy calmly replied: "And she didn't understand life."

That child was John Lennon.

We don't know if the story is true or if it is an urban legend,
but the truth is that if we all had as our primary goal that of
being happy in life the world would be a little better.



3 misconceptions about happiness that embitter our life

Happiness has always been a goal of mankind, but at the same time,
also one of the most elusive dreams. In large part, this is due to ours
misconceptions about the concept of happiness. And, after all, ourselves
we are the main obstacle that prevents us from being happy.

1. There are those who think that happiness does not even exist and, therefore, do not seek it. In
reality, the belief that happiness does not exist is as strong as some
people have everything they need to be happy but they don't make it
bill.

2. There are those who think that there are only happy moments. These people tend
to be passive, they expect happiness to knock on their door and when
arrives if they enjoy it, but with apprehension, convinced that it will last very little.
Therefore, they do nothing to preserve it.

3. There are those who think that happiness can be achieved and lasts for a lifetime.
These people believe that happiness is a material good, a goal that
you can reach it once and for all. Obviously, when they realize that
not so they usually go to the other extreme and fall into a deep
depression or lose the meaning of life.



But then: what is happiness?

Happiness is a state of fulfillment and inner peace that can be more or less
less stable over time, but which requires a good deal of continuous effort. There
happiness is not a goal, it is a path that we must be willing to
to follow. Happiness is a personal decision.

Is there a secret to achieving happiness?

Happiness is a journey and, as such, it is personal. However, in recent years
research in the field of positive psychology has allowed us to discover that not
we are so different from each other. The things that make us truly happy are
very similar, regardless of culture or social status. Like this
we know, for example, that money can generate temporary euphoria and gives
economic tranquility, but not true happiness. Instead, relationships
interpersonal are our greatest source of satisfaction.

How can you be happy?

1. Leave all excuses behind. There are a thousand and one excuses to be
unhappy, but only a good reason to be happy. It is true that there are disasters
natural, millions of dangerous viruses that the economic crisis has put to the test
prove your resilience and sometimes everything seems to be plotting against us.
However, there will never be ideal conditions, it is essential to learn how to
to be happy despite everything and everyone. Life is much shorter than it is
we can imagine and the years go by in the blink of an eye, so if not
do you ever have time to do the things you want, when you want to do them maybe not
you will have more time. Don't postpone your happiness because it will be the worst mistake
that you can commit.


2. Deciding to be happy, how it will come next. There are people who do
they persist in thinking about the "how" and they miss the "why". I am
those who always ask themselves the "how" of things, and if they do not find an answer
that satisfies them abandon the project even before starting. However, i
greatest successes in life are achieved by making an informed decision
and by committing to it, the "how" will come later, a natural consequence. When we are
motivated and we have a good reason that motivates us, the tools there
we will meet along the way.


3. Be optimistic, see the world in color. It is not about adopting a
naive optimism, to become faithful followers of the Law of Attraction e
believe that we will get everything we want with vehemence. However, between the
black and white there are a myriad of colors. To be happy is essential
knowing how to learn to appreciate the nuances because in these you will discover things
more positive, even in the case of events that at first seemed to be
awful. Learning to see the glass always half full will give you confidence and
it will encourage you to keep going. Remember that failure just means that
you are a little closer to your goal.

4. Never tire of being grateful. Numerous studies have shown that the
gratitude is one of the keys to achieving happiness. The secret lies in the
fact that, in order to feel gratitude, we must first be able to
recognize the good things in life. Only then can we be thankful for
these. Gratitude implies a greater awareness of ourselves and of
our environment means learning to focus on what we have instead of
complaining about what we don't have. A great exercise for developing
gratitude is to write three things of
which we should feel grateful for, on a sheet of paper, every night before bed.


5. Appreciate the little things. As we grow up, our universe shrinks. Let's stop
to look around us and focus more and more on ourselves, on
our problems. We fail to appreciate the world and its beauty because
we are too "busy". However, learning to appreciate the again
details has multiple implications for our well-being. First of all, there
helps to forget about problems and facilitates relaxation, stimulates the
creativity and ultimately helps us to be fully present, allows us to
be happier. There is a technique called "combing" that you
it will help to appreciate the small details. You simply point your finger at
an object, as children do, and its name is mentioned, as if it were there
first time you see it. During the first attempts you will not notice anything new,
but gradually you will begin to notice the details that you had overlooked and
you will rediscover the beauty and uniqueness of the world around you.


6. Be fully present. Life eludes us as we worry about the
future and regret the past. We don't realize everything we own
really, all that belongs to us is the present. The guilt and the recriminations
that come from the past, along with uncertainty and worries about the
future, they prevent us from living the "here and now". Think about the holidays
while we are at work and think about the work we left at
shoulders while on vacation is the best way to ruin any moment
of our life. Over the years we have learned to live suspended in a
time does not exist, but little by little we can change this habit,
learning to focus on the "here and now", forcing ourselves to be
fully present and enjoying the moment, making the most of what we are
doing.

7. Do what we like and learn to love what we do. In psychology
there is a little known concept that is one of the keys to happiness: the
ability to flow. The state of "flow" indicates to a person that he loves
what he does and immerses himself so deeply in the activity that he forgets himself
herself and her worries, it's as if everything around her fades away. In this
moment we are fully present, we enjoy what we do, without stress or
voltage. Happiness comes from these states in which we flow, make ourselves
carry on from what we are doing and learn to enjoy it. So if there is
you are asking how to be happy, one key is to take those back
activities that generate a state of "flow" in you.

8. Change as often as necessary. When we are young we have many
dreams and so many projects, but afterwards, most of us get trapped in
a life that does not satisfy them, they allow themselves to be overwhelmed by obstacles and respect
social conventions. As a result, the complaint becomes a companion
permanent travel. These people have built their own prison and they think
that the bars are real, they remain tied to a place or situation that is not there
they like it because they think there is no other solution. However, it always is
possible to change. It is not mandatory to be satisfied with a life that does not exist
satisfies, you can always do something to improve and be happier. At the
likewise, it is important to accept change, everything is continuous
evolution and clinging to the past, to a comfort zone, only serves to make us
of evil.

9. Get rid of everything we don't need, get rid of the ballast. One of the
major problems of modern society is that it has generated confusion between
the "need" and the "desire", thus encouraging the
unbridled consumerism that forces us to work tirelessly to get some
things we absolutely don't need. We are constantly running,
constantly stressed and unable to enjoy life. However, it is
smartphone, the luxury car or the biggest house are not part of you and not you
they give more value as a person, they are just a mirage that helps you build yourself
a social image. In the same way we cling to material goods like
if they were part of our "I", we hold back negative emotions
like resentment and anger, until, accumulating, they end in
hurt us. So if you really want to be happy you have to be
willing to get rid of all the ballast, both material and that
emotional.

10. Cultivate relationships like a garden. Relationships
interpersonal are our main source of satisfaction, but, al
at the same time, they are also the main causes of conflict. This because
we face relationships inadequately, developing an insecure attachment,
creating unrealistic expectations or assuming social masks. Every
way, to be happy you should start thinking about relationships
interpersonal as to a garden where there are plants that deserve to
be watered and cared for every day, while others, the weeds, are to come
removed. In the social sphere it is important to take care of the relationships that really are
they deserve, but it is equally essential to identify the "emotional vampires" e
establish limits, or remove them permanently. You have to decide
which plants to let grow in your garden.

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