Hold on to the love that protects your independence

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Joe Dispenza
@joedispenza
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wikipedia.org

Hold on to the love that protects your independence

Last update: February 18, 2022

Loving a person is more than exposing your body: it is exposing your soul. However, in order to be defined as complete, that love must be reciprocated, there must be a balance.

Phrases like "my life has no meaning without her", "I live for him", "she is everything to me", "he is the most important thing in my life", "without her I don't know what I would do" are expressions that must be banned from our way of thinking and from our vocabulary if our goal is to achieve a relationship that can be defined as healthy.



The intense sensation that one feels during falling in love has been studied in many fields: philosophical, literary, scientific, psychological ... It is a state of mind in which the person feels flooded with happiness, joy, sensuality and many other sensations positive.

“This is what it is about, coinciding with people who show you things you don't see. That teaches you to look with different eyes. "
-Mario Benedetti-

Falling in love is a kind of temporary obsession for a person, which produces different reactions such as the idealization of the loved one, the loss of concentration, the head in the clouds, the loss of appetite, insomnia ... However, all these effects are temporary, in a short time reality arrives, and with it the need to face it.

Love study

There are several scientific studies and researches that have shown that when we fall in love, our brain produces a combination of hormones similar to that generated during a chemical reaction. Levels of dopamine and norepinephrine increase and because of this we feel excited and full of energy, while the level of seratonin decreases, leading us to have obsessive thoughts towards the other person.




the consequences from the emotional point of view are so strong that they lead, in some cases, to depression and obsessive behaviors.

Another study conducted in the United Kingdom regarding the psychology of love, for which 4000 people were involved, allows us to state that small gestures are those that matter most as they are most appreciated. Bringing coffee to your partner when he wakes up in the morning, letting him know every day how good it is, are small gestures that are more valuable than spending money on expensive gifts.

"I fell in love with life, it's the only one who won't leave me without me doing it first."
-Pablo Neruda-

One aspect that is destabilizing couple relationships nowadays are social networks. According to a survey conducted by the United States Academy of Marriage Lawyers in 2011, there has been an increase in divorces due to the use of social networks which generate detachment, distrust and, consequently, couple problems.

Love or addiction

One of the main problems that affects many people is the inability to know how to distinguish between love and addiction. A person who has an emotional addiction is usually distinguished by their low self-esteem, a submissive character and above all by the inability to live their life without constantly having someone around.

They are people who feel the irrepressible need to always have someone by their side, idealizing this person and living almost exclusively for her. Now let's see in detail some characteristics that can denote emotional dependence.


  • The dependent person does not know how to live in solitude. They are people who always need a partner and who cannot enjoy moments of solitude. Generally, they always engage in new relationships to avoid being alone because they are unable even to think about a life without a partner.
  • They often have low self-esteem. An emotional addict is often someone with low self-esteem, who does not love himself and is therefore always looking for the approval and affection of other people to feel safe.

Lack of character and total self-denial

Addicted people can't say "no". They are complacent people who, for fear of their partner's reaction or of breaking up, cannot say no, do not express their opinions when something bothers them or does not put them at ease and devote their lives to pleasing only the other person so as not to risk losing her.



They also usually put their relationship ahead of everything else. An addicted person puts his relationship in front of his loved ones, his friends and his family, because it is the most important thing there is and it does not allow anyone to ruin his relationship. What's more, the addicted person puts their relationship even above themselves.


On the other side, the partner of an "emotional addict" is often a self-confident, self-centered, dominating and not very affectionate person. For this reason, he finds his perfect half in an "emotional addict".

"Stay with a love that gives you answers and not problems, security and not fear, trust and never doubts."
-Paulo Coelho-

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