Hearts of steel that hide feelings

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Robert Maurer
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Hearts of steel that hide feelings

Some people may appear cold and numb, which is why the epithet hearts of steel. But what they feel inside is very different.

Last update: 09 November 2020

Hearts of steel are cold, obnoxious, and can even seem indolent. These people seem to have such hard hearts that they are only scratched by a few emotions.

They have eyes that don't cry, lips that don't smile, hands that don't touch. They never abandon the role of spectators, they give the feeling that nothing that happens interests them or cares about them. Yet, they are actually extremely fragile.



Sometimes we wear a breastplate, believing that this way we will not feel pain, but we do not realize that by isolating ourselves we only hurt ourselves.

Who are the hearts of steel?

When we speak of "hearts of steel", we are referring to those who have a hard time expressing what they feel. Some typical characteristics of these people are:

  • Presumption. They may come to believe that others know how they feel, so they stop showing it.
  • Perfectionism. They are people who have difficulty admitting that they can make mistakes. And showing weakness is a mistake for them.
  • Low self-esteem. It makes them unable to show their feelings, because they feel so useless that they think it's not worth expressing themselves.
  • Fear. They may be afraid to face conflicts and show their emotions.
  • Catastrophic thinking. They may think that all is lost. So why make an effort?
  • Poor communication. They may be unable to communicate.
  • Shyness. There are people who, while feeling the desire to share what happens to them, are held back by the anxiety produced by the idea of ​​starting to walk on unknown ground.
  • Defense mechanism. People with hearts of steel may hide what they feel to protect themselves. They do this as a defense mechanism against the possibility of being vulnerable.
  • Feeling of trouble. They hardly listen to each other, so it's hard for them to understand how they feel.

Hearts of steel can have one or more of these characteristics

Although they don't express their emotions, they enjoy an emotional universe like ours. The problem is that they don't know or don't want to communicate it. The mechanisms by which this happens can be more or less conscious.



But how do hearts of steel work? These people may show themselves to others as harsh or distant. Which is why they give the impression of being numb.

People who are cold as ice, to the point of not having compassion or empathy towards others, exist, but they suffer from a form of psychosis. Fortunately, not all hearts of steel are like that. As we anticipated, some show themselves this way out of shyness, fear, fear of making a mistake, etc.

How to learn to manage emotions

It is important to learn how to manage your emotions. Because? This is how it is more assertive with themselves and with others. Here are some guidelines to do this:

  • Accept your feelings. Recognizing emotions and accepting them helps us grow and get to know ourselves better.
  • Improve self-esteem. When we recognize our worth, we realize how important we are. This will help us know that our emotions are too. In this way we will be able to focus our attention on them when necessary, to grow and improve our relationships.
  • Liberation. When shyness takes over, we close in on ourselves and throw away the key because of the anxiety provoked by the encounter with the other.
  • Facing fears. We may be afraid, but in addition to recognizing her, we need to understand why she is showing up and let her out. So it will be easier to express what we feel. In addition to this, if we ignore what others will say or our assumptions about how they will react or how they should do it, we will live authentic moments and express ourselves without pressure.
  • Try to express your emotions. When we spend a good part of our life without showing how we feel, it becomes more and more difficult to do so. Getting help from the people closest to us will make the task easier.
  • Self-knowledge. Getting to know each other will allow us to identify our emotions and express them assertively.

Managing emotions is not easy, but neither is it impossible. The essential thing is to recognize them, live them, know how to express them and recognize the right moments to do so.



We are not all the same, so everyone expresses them differently. Although at first glance it may seem of little importance, this accumulation of feelings can overwhelm us in the long run.


Drive away the hearts of steel

By this we are not referring to people, but to those rigid and cold hearts that we sometimes carry inside. This will offer us great benefits. Let's see which ones:


  • Calm the anxiety.
  • Increase empathy.
  • Decrease stress.
  • Encourage you to get to know each other more.
  • Increase self-knowledge.
  • Strengthen relationships with others and with yourself.
  • Improve self-esteem.
  • Promote assertive communication.

To enjoy these benefits, it is advisable to know specific techniques that make us more aware of our emotions. This is suggested by many psychotherapists, who stress the importance of emotional education for both teachers and students.

Although there are hearts of steel, that doesn't mean they can't be softened little by little. Through proper emotional management, they will be more assertive and, little by little, they will take off that strong armor that makes them appear numb.

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