Last update: 13 September, 2020
If on any occasion they have hurt you or you have faced a very difficult situation, surely you have wondered what it is for forgive and move on. In addition, you will have experienced on your skin that it is not an easy thing at all. Most likely you will also have confused forgiving with forgetting.
Forgetting is a mnemonic process (amnesic process) that almost exclusively depends on the time and context in which you find yourself. Forgetting is therefore the result of letting the information we have stored in our brain flow. Forgiving, on the other hand, implies remembering and, despite this, not remaining anchored to the emotion generated by the memory. If someone hurts us, forgiving and moving on is not easy at all.
What does it mean to forgive and move on?
There are many tricks to forget, as it is the result of the passage of time. It will be easier to forget what we have no contact with. For example, if we move away from a place, avoid seeing a certain person or experiencing a certain situation, it will be easier to forget. That is why in order to forget we have to walk away and wait.
Forgiving is a different process. It means that despite the memory of what happened, despite the memory of the pain suffered, we can turn the page and move on ”. To do so means to stop thinking about revenge, how unfair the situation was and make an effort to leave those emotions in the past, avoiding that they continue to influence our present and future.
Have you thought about this difference between forgiving and forgetting? Being aware that these two words are not synonymous is essential to be able to forgive and move on. Do you know why? Because you will never forget who has hurt you. You will never forget that pain. However, you can learn to live with it if you know how to put it aside.
Why must we learn to forgive and move on?
Forgiving and moving on is to break the bond with pain. Put the pain aside and let the flames of anger, anger and revenge gradually die out.
In this way, we will be free to start a new stage. Succeeding will allow us to begin a new phase of our life, because pain and anguish are now part of the past and not present.
In addition, forgiving will make you 100% in control of your time and energy. When a person has unresolved conflicts, even if they don't realize it, their mind spends a lot of time and energy trying to put an end to them. As a result, intense emotional exhaustion is generated.
Resolving conflicts also helps you feel more secure and at peace with yourself. In fact, it helps us move forward into the future without negative emotional loads that absorb our energies and motivations. Those who can forgive and move on, empty their emotional backpack and find motivation in the challenges of the future. These people carry within themselves a feeling of inner peace that is irreplaceable and necessary to live fully.
Forgive and move on: take over the reins of happiness
At this point it is very interesting to reflect on an aspect of forgiveness that few people take into consideration. When we forgive, we are for ourselves, not for those who have hurt us. Forgiveness is not a gift we give to those who have hurt us, but to ourselves. If we forgive, we do good to ourselves first, we give ourselves the opportunity to accept the pain and hurt we have suffered and leave it in the past.
On the other hand, forgiving is essential to be your own guide. Sometimes, however, you have to learn to forgive yourself. To be the commander of your life, you have to forgive your mistakes, weaknesses, wounds inflicted on ourselves. In short, we could go on with a long list of circumstances for which we must first forgive ourselves.
The only way to access personal self-realization is through forgiveness and reconciliation with oneself. Once this is done, we will be able to focus our energies on creating a better version of ourselves and our life plan. When we forgive, we learn to manage forgiveness better, we feel free to decide what affects us and what doesn't. What prevents us from moving forward and what not, in this way everything flows and we can focus on ourselves.
Forgiving and moving on is not an easy task, but neither is it impossible. There are several psychotherapy exercises that can help forgive. The first step is to focus on the present and the future, taking responsibility for your here and now, being the masters of your emotions.