Feeling lonely and sad: what to do

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Robert Maurer


Feeling lonely and sad: what to do

There is a type of loneliness that arises from the feeling of disconnection from what surrounds us. Not feeling approved or not finding meaning in what you do generates sadness and sometimes even anguish. What can we do in these cases?

Last update: May 02, 2022

What to do when you feel lonely and sad? It is often said that romantic artists such as Caspar David Friedrich, Heinrich Füssli or Goya have made solitude and melancholy an exercise in contemplation and inspiration.

They were called cosmic twilight painters because they saw in those hours before nightfall an ideal scenario for creation.

It is true that solitary beings sometimes find magical havens in which to find themselves and grow emotionally, artistically and spiritually. However, the current times are different and at this time the loneliness represents a silent epidemic that causes serious mental health problems.

Many people feel disconnected from their environment. And that break from the social element, from what gives meaning and purpose to the human being, generates suffering. Because in this hectic world many individuals remain on the platform of confusion, in that point of stagnation from which to see everything tinged with perplexity and misunderstanding.

Isolation is not the only cause of loneliness; this feeling also arises when we feel disconnected from those around us. And this generates sadness, frustration and even fear. How to act?

 Loneliness is very beautiful… when you have someone close to you to tell.

-Gustavo Adolfo Becquer-

Feeling lonely and sad: what can we do

Loneliness is now a silent epidemic. Research work done at King George Medical University in India gives us a picture of the situation. Loneliness in itself is not a disease, but it can be the trigger for the appearance of associated ailments.

And we insist, the problem of loneliness is not so much that a person is physically isolated. In fact, this feeling defines a state of mind which in turn generates a complex emotional reality.

Sometimes, the simple fact of feeling misunderstood, of not having a purpose and of not finding meaning in what surrounds us causes the feeling of isolation.

Let's see below some strategies that can help you get better when it happens to feel alone and sad.

1. Name emotions

To deal with sadness and loneliness, the solution is not to find company. The answer and the relief for our emptiness is not outside, but within us and that requires first of all giving a name to what we feel.

Why is it necessary to "label" or "name" what we feel? Because what we give a name acquires presence.

The study done at the University of California reminds us of the importance of emotional tagging. Expressing what we feel in words allows us to make the problem visible so you can treat it. This is always the first step.

You have to talk and name what hurts so that it hurts less.

Analyze current relationships

We may have a partner, many friends, and a family that we see often. Even so, we should ask ourselves how the relationships that mark our existence make us feel.

Do they make us happy? Do they make us feel supported? Do they give meaning to our everyday life or do they hinder our dreams and judge our way of being?

We need an affection that enriches, motivates and leaves us free. Feeling lonely and sad invites us to review socio-emotional ties. I respect who we really deserve to be with?

Feeling lonely and sad: asking questions to find out what you need

Talking to yourself isn't crazy, it's a mental health strategy. There are times when we operate on autopilot, letting things come by themselves, never taking control.

When anguish comes, formless sadness and fear without clear cause, it's time to talk to us and ask ourselves some questions.

Am I where I want to? How do i feel? What could I do to feel better? Where am I in my life and where do I want to go?

Slow down, reduce stimuli. Life on a slow fire makes you feel better

Sometimes life goes by so fast that it confuses us. We let ourselves go like someone who climbs an escalator without knowing which floor to go to.

Maybe it's time to get off and adopt a different pace. Slowing down and experiencing calmer days will allow us to clarify priorities.

Feeling lonely and sad: making small changes

Sometimes small changes bring big revolutions. No extreme variations are necessary. New stages in life sometimes begin with a simple change in routine.

It may be time to resume the studies that we left halfway one day. Today could be the day to make that call to a friend that we haven't seen in a while.

Taking a trip, reading a new book, or even taking the long way back from work can suddenly allow us to appreciate new realities that we hadn't perceived.

Loneliness and negative emotions can vanish if we introduce new habits into our lives. Sometimes, we reinforce behaviors that only cause suffering and that it is time to deactivate.

Clarify goals to move forward

It happens to many people to feel lonely, sad and apathetic. It doesn't matter that we are more connected than ever, if the connections are not authentic, dissatisfaction will be like a deep crack.

We need to remember what gives us meaning, what motivates us and gives us reasons to move forward. The purposes must be clarified from time to time, because we change with the passage of time and it is necessary to update goals and objectives.

We explore our inner way. Let's dive as divers into the depths of our desires and find what excites us. It is the secret to escaping loneliness and looking to the horizon with hope.

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