Feeling like a failure: a painful emotion

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Louise Hay


Feeling like a failure: a painful emotion

Who has never experienced the feeling of failure? Everyone has felt like a failure at some point in their life. 

Last update: July 20, 2019

Who hasn't failed at least once in their life? Who has never experienced this feeling? It has certainly happened to everyone to feel like a failure at some point in their life. 

The feeling of not having made it is usually intense, vital, painful and, at times, beneficial for personal development. With failure we suffer, but we can learn many things from it if it is faced with determination, courage and willpower.

Feeling like a failure is a bitter experience

What is bankruptcy? We are talking about a feeling associated with not being able to achieve the desired goals in the long or short term. It comes with a bitter, unpleasant, and frustrating experience. We all went through a similar experience. Is it part of life, is it the flip side, the other face of success?

In this sense, it is good to distinguish between the feeling of failure in the face of an error or an actual setback and that feeling that occurs for no reason. In the first case, the feeling derives from the experience of having failed, where it is important to point out some aspects: the intensity, the consistency with the fact that triggered it and the way in which one reacts.

On the other hand, in most cases it happens that the person, once the first moments have passed, begins to think about the reasons for his failure. Once this is done, he will be able to overcome it and prevent the situation from happening again. Abnormal is, however, a reaction that is too intense, which lasts too long or leads to nothing. 

Our personality affects the way we handle bankruptcy

When it comes to reacting to failure, personality is one of the main factors to consider. In this sense, strong and mature personalities set in motion all the defense mechanisms and to overcome the setback in a positive way. Weakest and most insecure personalities tend to break down in the face of relatively small obstacles. They need a lot of external support to overcome them.

On the other hand, it happens to feel like a failure for no reason, to experience imaginary failures. Things can go relatively well for us, but it can still happen to feel hit and sunk, unable to resolve the slightest setback.

Sometimes we have the feeling of failing and failing, in general, or about something specific. In that case we speak of imaginary failure. This feeling of failure ignites inferiority complexes and diminishes or accompanies episodes of depression.

And then, in a phase of depression, a collapse occurs which can be accompanied by this sensation and which falls within the range of action of the pathology. There are no arguments that hold: the starting point of this feeling is neither real nor logical.

The failure syndrome

Failure syndrome is that constant feeling of having failed, of not having succeeded in anything. Those who feel like a failure believe they no longer have a chance. This syndrome involves the past, the present and persists into the future.

It can be as much the result of real reasons as of imaginary ones, but the result will always be that the person feels dissatisfied with himself and his life. An almost predictable reaction is to sink into frustration, renunciation and abandonment.

It is one of the most daunting experiences to live and the subject becomes a passive being. He sinks into sadness and the inability to overcome himself.

Those who feel a failure lose initiative, fighting skills, their resistance to the unexpected; he sinks into depressive phases and may wish to die. Not infrequently, alcoholism and drugs become the only way out.

Overcoming failure is possible

Faced with failure, there are those who feel they are sinking and those who feel lost; those who recover their strength from weakness and do not take long to get back on the road. Feeling like a failure is not the end of the worldnor the conclusion of what we have failed in. This is a starting point for overcoming the moment.

We need to analyze the failure and find out the causes. Such causes can be oversized goals, not having done everything, poor preparation, excessive demands, and so on. The best thing is to know your mistakes, correct and overcome them, planning new action and behavioral strategies.

Feeling like a failure: you have to react

Remember: Failures can be overcome. Feeling like a failure is a passing sensation and it is up to us to prevent it from becoming chronic. Furthermore, in certain situations we can only learn how to behave after making a mistake.

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