Some women decide not to become mothers because they think they are not ready. But who ever really is? One of the certainties of life is that we are never sufficiently prepared for what happens to us.
Last update: July 08, 2020
The conception of motherhood has profoundly transformed over time, giving way to a large amount of beliefs that make it a distressing process in the eyes of some women. The fear of motherhood affects those women who, despite wanting a child, feel overwhelmed by the idea of the difficulties that come with it.
The upside is that nowadays it's easier to decide if and when to become a mother. This is a great achievement, if you think that until not so long ago there was a strong social pressure on the subject.
The problem is that some women are currently at the opposite extreme. The fear of motherhood makes the idea of a child something complex, to be avoided. But is not so. The only really important thing is that every woman feels in harmony with her choices.
“Deciding to have a child is a radical choice. It is deciding to have your heart forever walking around the world, outside your body. "
Fear of motherhood
Being a little afraid of motherhood is perfectly normal. It is a situation that involves major changes both in the body and in one's life. It is also an experience that requires accepting physical and psychological pain.
However, sometimes this fear also has other origins. You may have heard stories that frightened you, especially from older women. Indeed, until a few decades ago, births took place under very difficult conditions. Mothers were either unprepared for childbirth or did not receive adequate assistance and care from medical staff.
Some women decide not to become mothers because they think they are not ready. But who ever really is? One of the certainties of life is that we are never sufficiently prepared for what happens to us. Neither to grow up nor to separate us from loved ones nor to grow old, etc.
Likewise, some women abandon the idea of becoming mothers because they think life is too difficult or fear that their child may inherit their anxieties, depressions, etc. Perhaps they have a too rigid and absolutist view of it. There is no way to eliminate the pain, deprivation and mistakes from life. However, it also has some wonderful ways to go.
Don't give up on becoming a mother just out of fear
Whatever the origin of the fear of motherhood, the most important thing is not to go against one's most sincere wishes. If you really want to have a child, the way forward is that of healthy introspection, in this way you will be able to analyze the situation and find possible resistances, be they material, social or personal.
Where does your fear arise? Is it reasonable or not? Do you really want to become a mother or does the fear arise precisely from the fact that you do not want it, but you feel pressured by the demands of your social and family context? Introspection is one of the many actions you can take. You can also inquire about the psychological and social pregnancy support services available in your area.
It is also important to know in which healthcare facility you would like to be followed and by which professionals. An economic assessment will therefore have to be made if the costs are not included in the national health coverage.
Recognize and clarify your desires
It is advisable to add to all this an assessment of one's personal situation. Do you have partner support? Or that of the family? These are factors that must be considered before making a decision. Becoming a mother to please someone will certainly not make you happy, much less giving up becoming a mother because someone else doesn't like the idea.
As already mentioned, it is also important to evaluate one's socio-economic conditions. You don't have to be a millionaire to have a baby, but you still need to be able to give him some stability. In addition, it is clear, to have the necessary time to devote to him.
Once you have analyzed these points, you will probably begin to feel more confident about your desires. Whether you want a child or not often has repercussions in the future as well. That desire is what will mark the deepest part of his being. If you want to become a mother, strive to do it in the best possible way. Everything else will come by itself.