Fear of making a decision: are you a realist or a dreamer?

Who I am
Louise Hay


Have you ever faced a situation where you were afraid to make a decision, to change or to take a risk? Have you ever faced a situation where you were afraid to make a decision, to change or to take a risk?

Did you ultimately take that risk or did you make that decision? Or, did you stand still and leave things as they were? If you did, are you happy with how things went?

Fear is a precious thing. It keeps people safe and encourages caution when caution is due. But the fear of making a decision can also be a limiting factor, because not everything that you are afraid of really needs to be feared.

It is in our nature to feel safe: to feel comfortable and away from danger. This has always been the case since the beginning of time, when the first human beings only knew how to prioritize survival. Even today, many choose to play it safe and avoid taking risks or jumping when it comes to their life choices.

The realist and the dreamer

There are two types of people: realists and dreamers. Realists are the kind of logical and cautious individuals who always think and weigh the pros and cons before making any decisions, especially the big, life-changing ones. 

Whether it's deciding what to specialize in at university, what career path to take, whether or not to buy that house or that car, go on vacation, or show off that new watch, the realists they think long and hard before making a decision, if they decide. 

Realists stick to the “what's next?” Plan. They look to the future and cannot abstractly consider different possibilities for where life may lead. This is usually due to the trust they have already devoted to an accepted plan.

Realists also have dreams, but these are more rooted in ambition, drive and determination. These are goals that have long been enumerated. Realists understand that progress requires more than ambition and drive, but also connections. 

They feel that life is never without worries because of survival, responsibility and… paying a rent or a mortgage. As a result, they tend to make safe choices and stick to their comfort of knowing what's best for themselves.

Now let's look at the dreamers. Dreamers are fine. They have great ambitions, they take risks, sometimes too impulsive, but often they always challenge the norms of society and dare to think outside the box. This is not to say that they have no plans or a path to follow. But they are more likely to change the course of their journey through time, experience, and following their heart.

Dreamers draw their inspiration from within. No one else's perspectives weigh enough to displace a dreamer's thrust. Dreamers do not allow themselves to be consumed by their fears. They may fail from time to time, but they never give up on life or love.

Embrace fear

So which one do you think you are? And is one better than the other? In life, balance is always the key. I'm sure you would have heard: "everything in moderation". Likewise, being a realist is no better than being a dreamer. They both come with their own challenges. But what I do know is that no matter where you are in life, the fear of making a decision must always be seen as a way to push you to become a better yourself.

Getting out of your comfort zone is a type of fear that should be embraced. If you see yourself as a dreamer, then dream big! 

Getting out of your comfort zone is likely not new to you. Whether it's deciding to drop out of college to start your own business, moving to a new country on your own, taking that step to ask someone out with you despite thinking it's out of your league, or deciding to quit your 10 year high paying job to become a DJ. 

You chose to do this because you knew you would most likely regret the “what if…” more of the mistakes (if any) of those decisions.

But if you've always been a more cautious individual (about to become realistic), then I hope you'll think more about embracing the act of coming out more! Of course, this doesn't mean you need to start making hasty or bold decisions like the ones mentioned. It just means opening your mind to the acceptance that getting out of your comfort zone isn't a bad thing, it's not something to hesitate or fear.

In times of stress or discomfort, remember that some of the best things happen when you are afraid or in an uncomfortable situation. These experiences can both challenge you and help you grow. 

Make a commitment to challenge the situation as hard as possible and keep expectations low to reduce the additional pressure. Living outside your comfort zone is by definition uncomfortable. Therefore, the best habit you can cultivate within yourself is the practice of familiarizing yourself with the discomfort.

You may find yourself at a crossroads in life and feel indecisive about something, or you may feel like you are not satisfied with where you are right now. It could be a job you're not happy with, a relationship you're not happy with, or even just knowing that you feel too comfortable with the situation you are in, that you don't feel challenged. 

All this uncertainty can be traced back to your intentions. 

What is it you want? What is it you are looking for? So what is it that you are looking for?

We have different goals, dreams and aspirations, but they all lead to the same result: to become better than we were before. Be it in terms of happiness, wealth, love, etc.

So why do some of us have a hard time moving forward?

To free ourselves from our limitations, we need to step back and gain a new perspective on what limits really represent. On the surface, limitations are things that keep you from doing something, but if you dig deeper, you'll find that limitations are the things that keep you bound within a loop.

Limits keep you stuck facing the same problems, having the same choices, and taking the same actions over and over again. Limitations define your current situation, which also means they define the quality of your life. 

If you want to improve the quality of your life, then you need to be able to break free from the limitations that keep you in the same loop every day, month and year. Live your life free from the fear of making a decision.

Your reality comes from your perception.

It is not the reality that is important, but how you see it. Being able to control the way you look at things is the key to breaking free and creating the success you want. Shaping your perception is so powerful that a small shift in perspective can completely change everything, including your motivation, your perspective, and your self-esteem!

So all limitations really start from your mind. 

This is good news because it means you can learn to take control of your limits and push out of your current situation to get back on track with improving yourself, keeping the fear of making a decision away.

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