Falling in love after 50: high altitude adventure

Who I am
Robert Maurer


Falling in love after 50: high altitude adventure

Is it possible to fall in love after 50? Obviously yes. Especially nowadays where a lot of age prejudices have been shot down. Feeling alive, feeling emotions: love never ceases to be a real and exciting possibility.

Last update: February 16, 2022

Falling in love after 50. Until half a century ago, it was still a difficult situation to imagine. At this age it was assumed that everything in life was resolved and, far from starting something new, it was better to conclude what was left unfinished. It was an age to dedicate to grandchildren, certainly not to boyfriends.

Things have changed, and a lot. Falling in love at a mature age is not the rule, but it has certainly become an accepted and common situation. It wasn't in other times, when mental and social barriers were a major obstacle.

Our life is less subject to rules than we think. We could go to college at 80, find we're good singers at 60, or start a career at 12. Although we have to deal with the predominant models, almost no experience is forbidden to us from our age. Falling in love after 50 is therefore not only possible, but healthy.

When grace is combined with wrinkles, it turns out lovely. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age.

-Victor Hugo-

The ages of life

The question of age and the characteristics of the stages of life is relative. There are no clear-cut divisions such as to create an absolute and radical difference between an adolescent and an elderly person, a child and a young person. We do not have a structured body to move linearly through life. Many 'I's of different ages coexist within us.

In our heart still lives the child who opened his eyes wide in front of a firefly. There is also a place for the wise and measured elder who occasionally spoke to us when we were 20 years old and who stands out more at 60. As well as the adolescent and the young man. Age is a convention and biological determinism is relativized in the mental and emotional world.

There are those who think that love after 50 is very different from adolescence. Mistaken. Even the fifth decade can reserve unpredictable and intense heartbeats. You are not free from blushing at 54 and having sweaty hands at 60.

Falling in love after 50

Statistics tell us that divorces at the age of 50 and over are quite common. Many people at this age still feel young and decide to end a relationship that makes them unhappy. The same that, perhaps, they had to endure until they saw their older children.

Other times, however, when you reach this age, an alarm bell goes off. The finitude of life is a reality of which one acquires awareness. That is why it is not uncommon to see people who, left alone at 50, want to fall in love again.

There is no reason why one cannot fall in love at a mature age. It's not that easy either, though. We will hardly have a queue of admirers at the door and the magical coincidences that lead us to love are rare. In many cases it is necessary to do a mental opening exercise. New love often comes if we indulge in new experiences.  

Limits and opportunities

The beauty of late loves is that, although they live in an intense way the phase of falling in love, have a better chance of landing on reality with a more realistic feeling, without the typical delusions of the 20s. This "landing" phase is not experienced with nostalgia or surprise. There is a greater capacity to accept the other as they are, without idealizing them.

However, we find some drawbacks when it comes to combining lifestyles. Over time, it is not easy to change some ingrained habits; in this sense one becomes, perhaps, more understanding, but less flexible.

It is also necessary to accept that at a certain age love is expressed more in gestures and deeds than in words. Falling in love, on the other hand, becomes a dish to be simmered. We understand better the importance of some changes, we are more aware of our actions and how the choice of a partner can fall on loved ones. In any case, the serenity of a mature love does not make it a less exciting experience, but an exciting bet.

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