On a site that I no longer remember what it once was
I read a sentence that struck me very much: “A lot
often the problem is not that we have not been successful enough
but rather that we never are losers
a sufficient number of times ". Obviously, this idea collides with the
social paradigm indicating that the failure is attributed to that person
who has not been able to reach a goal (very often imposed on him by the
company itself).
Today, in the Western world, parents
they try by all means at their disposal to get their children
they should never experience failure, making it easier for them to walk
up to a really insane limit. At the same time, in each of us we go
configuring a strong defense mechanism that prevents us from recognizing the
our own mistakes and limitations. The problem is, to recognize that you have gods
limits and making mistakes, is dangerously identified with
the idea of failure. None of us want to be a failure! They educated us
to be afraid of this word since we have been taught that it corresponds
to an index of our worth as a person. But is not so. However, if we look at the history of the great geniuses of
past we will see that, before we come to discover their theories theirs
path was steeped in failures. In fact, scientifically speaking, the
failure is viewed more as a mistake than a defeat, it is a
an inevitable step on the path that leads to development. The reasons
of bankruptcy The main cause of the failure comes from the
set goals that do not correspond with our real abilities for
realize them. Currently the media insist on an image
of success that can only be achieved by a few. Thus, we will be tempted to
take these models as personal goals and as points of reference
without realizing that this lifestyle is not within our reach. To be
ambitious is positive and planning new goals increasingly difficult to
reaching is a way to grow, but we should be careful not to
stray too far from common sense. The curious fact is that very often the majority
of the people who feel they are going to to fail
in reality they are not that far from achieving their goal,
they are just a few steps away from success without realizing it
bill. Thus, the fact of obtaining a salary just less than what is there
we wait increases the feeling of failure. So much so, that it is
proved that the Olympic athletes who get to win the medal of
bronze are happier than those who win the silver one. This happens because
silver means having narrowly missed the first place and this is it
disappointing and frustrating. The other big cause of failure is the tendency to
to bet all on one horse. That is, many people focus
only on a single objective and do not contemplate alternative plans. At the same
way, some professionals focus solely on their careers as well
they feel failed in the life of a couple or in relationships
interpersonal and it is natural since, investing all their energy in
professional sphere, they neglect the other spheres of life that they could give
their greater happiness. Of course, there are other factors as well
they lead to failure and some of them may even escape ours
control, as in the case of some unpredictable changes in the context
general who presumably had to support our project but which to the
eventually turned into an insurmountable barrier. Models of
failure If I had to make a painting to describe people
who feel like failures I would say that I would focus on two models: the loser
born and the eternal perfectionist. And it is that if we really delve into what it is
failure we will see that it corresponds more to a feeling of defeat than to
an objective situation. Finally, what a person can consider
bankruptcy may not be the same for another since we don't all have it
the same goals. The born loser is that person who always feels
sad because of a perennial feeling of failure, as he believes everything
what he did he did wrong because he didn't achieve the goals he did
it was fixed. These are people who have a very poor image of themselves
themselves and nothing they do seems important to them so that almost everything does
turns into a failure. Faced with the slightest problem they are attacked by
feeling of failure and so they abandon the path. On the other side we meet the eternal perfectionist.
For these people, who are extremely scrupulous and meticulous, things
they must be done in a perfect and irreproachable way. That way, it doesn't
never wanting in any way to face the fact that human beings commit
errors, their life appears to him as an infinite series of unfinished works e
imperfections. Obviously, these people never experience the pleasure of
success (even when they get it) as they are eternally looking for
something more. When the
failure leads to success There are people who get discouraged in the face of
failure while others use this feeling as a lesson for
continue on the journey by improving. The latter are those who
they understand failure as a useful step in the right direction, not as
the end of the story. Recently psychologists Jonah Berger and Devin Pope,
they analyzed a total of 18.000 NBA basketball players and
have come to a paradoxical result: losing is highly motivating.
Indeed, the teams that ended the first half with a slight disadvantage
they had a much better chance of winning at the end of the game. The researchers wondered whether the resulting motivation
from bankruptcy it could also apply to normal people. So they asked
to 171 volunteers who pressed two buttons in one as fast as possible
time frame of 30 seconds. The goal was to overtake the opponent.
After the 30 seconds had passed, it was decided to take a break during the
which each person was informed about his performance and that of the opponent.
The trick was that one group was told it was little more
slow of the opponent while the other was told that they were very distant
while that the third group was told that it was much faster than the adversary. Long last,
a fifth control group was told nothing. Following the volunteers
they had to repeat the performance for another 30 seconds. What happened? The people who were told to
being a little slower than the opponent increased theirs considerably
effort obtaining better results, greater than the rest of the others
groups. This means if we consider bankruptcy
as a step forward on our path and we know we have some
chance to reach our goal, we will be able to learn from mistakes
facts and correct our plans in order to achieve the goal.
