Fail, fail and fail… to achieve success!

    Fail, fail and fail… to achieve success!

    On a site that I no longer remember what it once was
    I read a sentence that struck me very much: “A lot
    often the problem is not that we have not been successful enough
    but rather that we never are losers
    a sufficient number of times ". Obviously, this idea collides with the
    social paradigm indicating that the failure is attributed to that person
    who has not been able to reach a goal (very often imposed on him by the
    company itself).



    Today, in the Western world, parents
    they try by all means at their disposal to get their children
    they should never experience failure, making it easier for them to walk
    up to a really insane limit. At the same time, in each of us we go
    configuring a strong defense mechanism that prevents us from recognizing the
    our own mistakes and limitations. The problem is, to recognize that you have gods
    limits and making mistakes, is dangerously identified with
    the idea of ​​failure. None of us want to be a failure! They educated us
    to be afraid of this word since we have been taught that it corresponds
    to an index of our worth as a person. But is not so. However, if we look at the history of the great geniuses of
    past we will see that, before we come to discover their theories theirs
    path was steeped in failures. In fact, scientifically speaking, the
    failure is viewed more as a mistake than a defeat, it is a
    an inevitable step on the path that leads to development. The reasons
    of bankruptcy
    The main cause of the failure comes from the
    set goals that do not correspond with our real abilities for
    realize them. Currently the media insist on an image
    of success that can only be achieved by a few. Thus, we will be tempted to
    take these models as personal goals and as points of reference
    without realizing that this lifestyle is not within our reach. To be
    ambitious is positive and planning new goals increasingly difficult to
    reaching is a way to grow, but we should be careful not to
    stray too far from common sense. The curious fact is that very often the majority
    of the people who feel they are going to to fail
    in reality they are not that far from achieving their goal,
    they are just a few steps away from success without realizing it
    bill. Thus, the fact of obtaining a salary just less than what is there
    we wait increases the feeling of failure. So much so, that it is
    proved that the Olympic athletes who get to win the medal of
    bronze are happier than those who win the silver one. This happens because
    silver means having narrowly missed the first place and this is it
    disappointing and frustrating. The other big cause of failure is the tendency to
    to bet all on one horse. That is, many people focus
    only on a single objective and do not contemplate alternative plans. At the same
    way, some professionals focus solely on their careers as well
    they feel failed in the life of a couple or in relationships
    interpersonal and it is natural since, investing all their energy in
    professional sphere, they neglect the other spheres of life that they could give
    their greater happiness. Of course, there are other factors as well
    they lead to failure and some of them may even escape ours
    control, as in the case of some unpredictable changes in the context
    general who presumably had to support our project but which to the
    eventually turned into an insurmountable barrier. Models of
    failure
    If I had to make a painting to describe people
    who feel like failures I would say that I would focus on two models: the loser
    born and the eternal perfectionist. And it is that if we really delve into what it is
    failure we will see that it corresponds more to a feeling of defeat than to
    an objective situation. Finally, what a person can consider
    bankruptcy may not be the same for another since we don't all have it
    the same goals. The born loser is that person who always feels
    sad because of a perennial feeling of failure, as he believes everything
    what he did he did wrong because he didn't achieve the goals he did
    it was fixed. These are people who have a very poor image of themselves
    themselves and nothing they do seems important to them so that almost everything does
    turns into a failure. Faced with the slightest problem they are attacked by
    feeling of failure and so they abandon the path. On the other side we meet the eternal perfectionist.
    For these people, who are extremely scrupulous and meticulous, things
    they must be done in a perfect and irreproachable way. That way, it doesn't
    never wanting in any way to face the fact that human beings commit
    errors, their life appears to him as an infinite series of unfinished works e
    imperfections. Obviously, these people never experience the pleasure of
    success (even when they get it) as they are eternally looking for
    something more. When the
    failure leads to success
    There are people who get discouraged in the face of
    failure while others use this feeling as a lesson for
    continue on the journey by improving. The latter are those who
    they understand failure as a useful step in the right direction, not as
    the end of the story. Recently psychologists Jonah Berger and Devin Pope,
    they analyzed a total of 18.000 NBA basketball players and
    have come to a paradoxical result: losing is highly motivating.
    Indeed, the teams that ended the first half with a slight disadvantage
    they had a much better chance of winning at the end of the game. The researchers wondered whether the resulting motivation
    from bankruptcy it could also apply to normal people. So they asked
    to 171 volunteers who pressed two buttons in one as fast as possible
    time frame of 30 seconds. The goal was to overtake the opponent.
    After the 30 seconds had passed, it was decided to take a break during the
    which each person was informed about his performance and that of the opponent.
    The trick was that one group was told it was little more
    slow of the opponent while the other was told that they were very distant
    while that the third group was told that it was much faster than the adversary. Long last,
    a fifth control group was told nothing. Following the volunteers
    they had to repeat the performance for another 30 seconds. What happened? The people who were told to
    being a little slower than the opponent increased theirs considerably
    effort obtaining better results, greater than the rest of the others
    groups. This means if we consider bankruptcy
    as a step forward on our path and we know we have some
    chance to reach our goal, we will be able to learn from mistakes
    facts and correct our plans in order to achieve the goal.
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