Last update: April 09, 2020
To improve communication with others, it is very important to learn to speak from the heart. It sounds easy, but it's not. This is because it is not just about saying things and in the right way, but also about doing it at the right time. There is only one way to do this: to express emotions.
You don't have to express your emotions only when everything is fine. In fact, it's much more important to do it when things go wrong. When we feel clouded, upset or confused, the way out is not silence. Don't let these emotions stay inside you and hurt you.
Express what you think and feel under any circumstances. And make sure you do it on time. It is not always easy to identify the right moment, but gradually you will learn to speak at the right moment.
Express emotions and remember that ...
There is no exact formula for determining what defines correct emotional communication or not. However, there is a guiding principle, that of expressing emotions when the desire to do so is very strong, when you have the feeling that your immediate well-being is at stake.
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Certainly in moments of irritation or anger there is a strong desire to say the first thing that comes to mind. Most of the time we regret having succumbed to this impulse, because in the end it does not serve to express what we want to say. On the contrary, we risk doing damage and blocking communication.
Another principle behind good emotional communication is not to talk in moments of extreme agitation. Neither speak nor act. The only thing that should be done is to breathe to calm down and bring the mind back to its normal and correct functioning.
Positive and negative emotions
Talking from the heart is always easier when there are positive emotions at stake. We should never be silent when we are experiencing something beautiful and positive. It is a good way to start connecting emotions and words, without the intermediation of thought. In other words, it helps fuel spontaneity.
With negative emotions you need to be more careful. It is no coincidence that as children they teach us to repress them, in fact they are considered unpleasant and uncomfortable. A source of conflict. We grow up with the idea that we must silence them or disguise them, but in the long run this attitude ends up being harmful.
We use the term "negative emotions" for educational purposes. This does not mean that they are unhealthy, quite the contrary. They have their own reason. Very often it is sadness, anger, indignation and whatever else we consider "negative", but which pushes us to evolve, grow, solve latent problems.
Negative emotions: they begin as an upset and end with an explosion
When something bothers us, makes us feel bad or triggers rejection, then we feel a feeling of displeasure. We want to get away from discomfort and for this reason we often decide to ignore what our emotions reveal. And it is a mistake. If we deny or repress what we feel, we confine it to a part of us where a time bomb is hiding.
This concerns the negative emotions that arise as a result of situations that we consider important. Silence is not an option. If we keep quiet, sooner or later that latent conflict will explode, almost always in the worst way. Sometimes with great displays of anger, at others with behaviors that hurt others. Negative emotions always find a way to manifest themselves.
Consequently, when you feel a certain upset, do not underestimate it. Try to understand what is happening. Identify the emotion or feeling that triggers this upset in you. When you understand this, express your emotions. With serenity, with tact, but also with the intention of making you understand and not of freeing and venting your tensions on others.
A person who knows how to express emotions at the right time, clearly and without hurting others, is certainly ready to take his interpersonal relationships to a higher level.. This avoids a multitude of problems and worries. Learn to communicate from the heart, it's worth it.