Excessive modesty: what lies behind this attitude?

have you never met an excessively modest person? Let's talk about those cases
extremes in which one wonders if la
it's real or acted out, as it somehow gets to annoy us.
Obviously, modesty is not a crime, much less a psychopathology, but they exist
limits that, if exceeded, could create obstacles even for ourselves.

Grant, a psychologist who spent her time studying modesty below
all aspects, states that this is a typical characteristic of women
brilliant, much more than men, and that sometimes the excess of modesty
it is harmful to the person himself as the person develops a series of
misconceptions about his real abilities that will prevent him from
grow. As a result, these people tend to lose self-confidence
same. Curiously,
modesty could begin as a defense mechanism. In fact, very often
these people have felt overly flattered in the past for successes
achieved in childhood. In this way, every time they always felt
more pressed to overcome their limits to demonstrate their abilities. In
at a given moment, this tension turned into modesty, a way of saying
to the world and to themselves to reduce expectations. Obviously, this is just an idea,
but it might make sense. In
normal conditions, modesty is a tactic for managing judgments and judgments
expectations of others towards us. In this way we limit the
social risk of others feeling inferior. Modesty itself does not
it implies a lack of confidence or self-esteem and, indeed, in Asian cultures
it is regarded as a virtue. To
anyway, in Western culture in which individualism emphasizes importance
to present themselves to themselves as unique and independent people, modesty does not
is well seen. So much so that among strangers there is a tendency to exaggerate by highlighting
some of our positive qualities (just think of job resumes). Obviously,
on other occasions modesty reflects low self-esteem and in these cases it is
particularly harmful, since it can even damage the personality. Yes
it's about people who don't attribute any success or skills to themselves, like that
that their own characteristics are slowly fading, so much for them
than for others.

regardless of its origin, modesty always comes with a high cost
social. The problem is that it is sometimes perceived as behavior
sensitive and tasteful, but at other times it is perceived as a waste of
competence. Finally, if we wish to assert ourselves in Western culture, it is appropriate
knowing when to show our modesty and when to show ours
skills and achievements. After all, the right balance is always there
best solution.

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