If you could live an eternal love, if your relationship could be happy, forever, would you say no? You may not believe it, but I assure you it is possible. And I'll also explain why and how:
- But who said it only works in fairy tales?
- Measure your ability to love (take the test!).
- Why love ends: the biggest mistakes of your life.
- Infinite love: how to live happily ever after (instructions for use).
- Your life will be the most beautiful fairy tale ever told!
Forget the fairy tales, here we talk of real life and you are about to find out how to make it beautiful. How to create a infinite love.
Great, because let's get started right away!
Eternal love: start living a fairytale life!
When we hear about eternal love we have three possible reactions (seen with my own eyes!):
- We get a stomach ache because they are nonsense from fairy tales, while in life things are very different.
- We sigh enraptured, because perhaps we do not hope, but after all we would love it live it!
- Let's shrug: that never happens, even if it would be nice.
Today I have good news for you: eternal love exists!
I know, you thought there was also Santa Claus and then ... wait ... Santa exists!
But let's not digress 😉
Eternal love exists, but few see it, this is the real problem.
If I asked you how many couples you know who have loved each other for a lifetime (not that they have gotten used to it by now!), Probably few would come to mind.
And I assure you I know a lot of people who told me they don't know any. On the contrary.
If we look around it, it seems impossible to hope that if we love each other today, we will love each other tomorrow and 20 years from now.
The lack of positive examples is a problem, because it really makes us believe that terno love is a utopia, especially if we read the statistics.
Marriages end after 15 or 18 years.
From the idea of eternal love, of forever, we are far away.
Between numbers and acquaintances who separate or couples that last a few months, each of us finds increasingly unlikely that one's relationship will last a lifetime.
If nothing else, though, we all still hope!
To get to eternal love, because I repeat to you that it is possible and I assure you that it exists, you need to understand a couple of things.
- Love is one thing, relationship is another.
- We don't know much about love, we don't really understand it.
- Relationships, let's say almost all, are born and live for the wrong reasons.
Love is the greatest force that exists, it is energy, emotion.
Love is wanting the happiness of others, giving the best of ourselves. Love is the very meaning of our life.
The couple relationship is the commitment to be close to us, to be close to us, to share in a special way our life.
As you see they are two different things and it is not said that a couple relationship is always based on love.
Obviously when it happens, love is eternal.
I told you that we know little about love, so you have to read two resources on the site, otherwise going forward becomes difficult.
I wrote what it means to love, a page where I reveal to you what I have learned about love. After reading it, also read something about unconditional love.
Stop and read them immediately, then let's continue.
The third point is that often we base a report on the wrong assumptions. Opening a parenthesis I recommend that you read my practical guide to find the right person, so you avoid this mistake.
What are these wrong assumptions? I suggest some of them, the most common and widespread:
- Happiness. You are with a person because you think (or hope) that they will make you happy.
- Wellness. You expect your partner to make you feel good.
- Satisfaction. Is your life how you want it to be? You probably expect your relationship to make her perfect, if only better.
- Safety. You look for it in the person you love, you want someone next to you who gives you certainties you can count on every day.
- Piacere. You want the person around you to please you and make your life fun.
- Need. You expect your significant other to meet your needs, help you solve your problems and complete you.
Maybe you don't find anything wrong with these things, so you may be wondering what's wrong with them, because I've presented them as bad assumptions for a relationship.
Now I'll explain it to you by showing you the two mistakes capable of destroying a couple and ruining your life.
Before we begin, however, I'll ask you a question: are you really capable of loving?
Because otherwise it is useless to talk about eternal love. Let's measure it!
Like what? Your ability to love.
It will allow you to understand if in this moment of your life you have the ability to truly love (especially who you say you love).Start quiz Continue Complete the form below to see the results Leave your name and email to subscribe to my newsletter and receive the test results. Your name: Your email: I consent to the processing of my data in compliance with the privacy regulations. Show results
On this page you will find all my tests on love.
Then, continuing to read this page, you will see what to do to get to eternal love 😉
Why love ends: the biggest mistakes of your life
All the assumptions I just showed you stem from two huge errors.
They are the reason why eternal love seems so unreal to us.
Sit comfortably first, because I'm about to tell you something that no one admits and that could also leave you upset, or upset 😉
Mistake # 1 - The need to be loved
I know you're making a weird, puzzled expression, but needing your partner to love you is the first big mistake.
Still that face there?
Well, let me explain better.
What happens when you are in a hurry and you are at the post office, in line? (Don't worry it has to do with it!)
You are probably impatient.
Not only that, if the person in front of you wastes time, lingers, seems to want to make you wait more on purpose, then you start to be nervous, or nervous, impatient, and you certainly lose patience.
If someone asked you to pass because they are in a hurry, you would almost certainly say no, even roughly, because tu you are in a hurry and need to hurry as fast as possible.
You know la tension, frustration, nervousness or even anger and annoyance What do you feel when you need something?
Are they emotions that convey love?
Obviously not, but if you need to receive love from your partner, you will experience just these feelings.
When you need something, you demand it.
You want him to behave in a certain way, to listen to you, to talk to you by saying certain words, to have a certain attitude, to be available, to be present.
What if you don't get these things what happens?
You get angry, nervousness occurs, you are sad, you feel frustration or disappointment. The same things you experience when you are in the mail queue and in a hurry.
Any need that we want to see satisfied by others will always be the origin of a claim.
It's something you want, at all costs, and so on you stiffen and hurt if you don't get it.
Do you think you can give love to the person next to you while feeling nervous, anxious, angry or disappointed?
The trouble is that claims are like an open wound always ready to become infected.
People don't live to meet our expectations.
Each of us has his problems, his difficulties, his own tiredness, and not always your partner, as much as he cares about you, it will do exactly what you want, however you like.
The more you expect to receive love, the more you open up to negative emotions that will prevent you from doing the only thing that matters in a relationship: I will love.
Needing to be loved is a monumental mistake, it will ruin your relationship because it wears it down with negative emotions and feelings, and it will make you miserable.
But why do you need to receive love?
For the second mistake.
Are you a selfish person?
Answer the 7 questions in my selfishness test.It will allow you to understand if (and to what extent) you are a selfish person.
Start quiz Continue Complete the form below to see the results Leave your name and email to subscribe to my newsletter and receive the test result. Your name: Your email: I consent to the processing of my data in compliance with the privacy regulations. Show results
Mistake Number Two - The need for others to make us happy
Another perplexed look? Imagine this scene.
Your partner returns home with a surprise for your anniversary: dinner out, background music, dedication, a romantic walk and a night of passion.
Fantastic isn't it?
How could you not feel loved, or loved, and happy for what you are experiencing?
How could it possibly be wrong to expect that this special someone can't make you happy?
Just think that before going home that night, your partner spent two hours with his lover.
Already, you know nothing of all this and you are happy, you feel you are a lucky person covered in love.
Why are you happy?
Betrayal has a very strange effect on you!
Or is it being made fun of in this romantic way?
Now I'll explain something that will change your life and your relationship: no one can make you happy.
In the example above, would you be happy to be betrayed?
No, of course, yet it is certainly not love that makes you happy, unless you consider a betrayal as original proof of your partner's feelings.
Do you know what makes you happy? What you think.
You think you are lucky, or lucky, that you are loved, or loved, that you are a special person to someone, the most important.
As said it is not true, you have misconceptions about reality, but it doesn't matter: you are happy anyway.
So what makes us happy?
Also read the in-depth study in which I explain what happiness is. It will be useful.
You are the only person who can make you happy.
In a couple relationship you don't have to expect love or happiness, but bring them to you.
You must love, you must carry and share your happiness, the one that is already part of your life, every day.
Imagine two thirsty people walking in the desert.
Neither has water and they are literally dying of thirst. Do you think that meeting and traveling together they will quench their thirst?
And with what?
Yet this is what happens to us every day.
I am alone and I hope you will make me happy. What's the beauty? That you also hope that I will make you happy.
It will happen?
No, because two unhappy, when they get together, they simply become an unhappy couple.
Yet when I start a relationship I am fine!
Excellent observation. Do you know why?
Why you begin to love, to think that you are special and that you are a lucky person, loved and understood.
Think back to the example of betrayal: it doesn't matter if it's true, if you think these things, you will be happy.
You create your happiness this way, thinking your life is magnificent, living it with enthusiasm and joy.
If you suspect that your loved one is cheating on you, you begin to act with detachment, distrust, coldness.
His gestures lose their meaning, for you they could just be a way to hide the betrayal.
But these unpleasant sensations, which perhaps lead you often to quarrel, are they the result of betrayal?
In fact, if you were wrong, if your partner was really loyal to you, you wouldn't feel love from him anyway, because you think he is lying.
He really loves you and you don't feel his love. He betrays you and you think you are the luckiest person on this earth!
How many times do we get angry at others for things we think they said or did, and then find we were wrong?
Here's why expecting happiness from your partner is a huge mistake: because no one can make you happy.
But if you don't understand this and demand this happiness, you will end up feeling bad every time you don't get what you want.
I recommend that you take a break and read what emotional independence is, one of the foundations for eternal love.
As said before, no one was born to make you happy. Nobody was born to make us happy and do what we want!
The need for love or happiness are two big scams, two huge mistakes that will always ruin a relationship and anyone's life.
This is why love ends.
Because instead of loving, which is the only sensible thing to do always, let alone in a couple, we aim to get something, the list I showed you before, but also much more.
Does it make sense to continue your relationship as a couple?
Answer my test questions to find out.
It will allow you to understand if your relationship has the characteristics to last or not.
Infinite love: how to live happily ever after (instructions for use)
Have you read what it means to love? And what have I found out about unconditional love?
If you haven't, stop and read them.
So far I have explained to you what ruins relationships as a couple, why eternal love is so hard to see.
But now I will explain how to get there and what I will say, if you have not read those pages, may seem absurd or difficult to understand.
I told you, I don't want to hear excuses 😉
Love is a choice
I could explain to you how I came to this conclusion and why I am sure that love is a choice, but I wrote it explaining what it means to love, so I will not dwell on it.
Almost all, on the contrary, we think that love happens, is the result of chance and is independent of our will.
I say no, but let's pretend it's true and that love is random, independent of your will.
Just as you love me today, tomorrow you may not love me anymore. You haven't made up your mind, so it could be over at any moment.
Tomorrow you will get up and whoever sleeps next to you may not love you anymore. What is his fault, he loves you by chance!
Eternal love? Impossible.
How can you promise someone you'll love them forever (don't pretend, I know you've done it at least once!) If it's not up to you?
If love is involuntary and you don't decide it, then telling me that you will love me forever is as if I promise you that it won't rain for six months.
It's absurd, I don't control the rain, I can't promise you anything if it's not up to me.
But what about the promises we make? And the commitment to face difficulties for love, what happens to them?
Don't tell me anymore I do it because I love you, rather tell me I do it by chance, you were lucky!
Does it seem possible that the greatest gift you can ever give, your love, is it the result of chance?
That you can't decide to love, why does it happen to you?
Eternal love exists, I assure you, but if it exists it means that loving does not happen.
The choice to love forever: promise and keep
Since love is a choice, then we can make this when we want and, above all, it depends only on us how long it will last.
I think the concept of promise is misunderstood.
Promises usually become constraints, obligations that we are forced to respect.
Nice to hear you say: I love you, I'm forced because I promised you!
Not the best is it?
Well, the promise for me is something else.
Today I can promise you that I will come to see you tomorrow. But I can't decide today what I'll do tomorrow, I can only schedule it.
It will be tomorrow that I will have to come and see you and I will make this decision only in that moment.
The promise is not a constraint we give ourselves, but a free choice.
Promising you eternal love does not mean that tomorrow I will have to love you because today I promised you.
It means tomorrow I will choose to love you, and I will make this choice every day of my life.
Eternal love is not an obligation, but freedom.
I choose today, freely, that every morning I will get up and choose, freely, to love you.
Nobody forces me to do it, I choose it, and today I commit myself to choose it forever, forever.
Wonderful isn't it? Yup.
This is Love.
Choosing to love and freely renew this choice forever.
If love happens to you, tomorrow it could pass.
Who you take it with, it happens!
If you choose love, you can renew this decision for life and nothing or no one will ever have the power to stop you.
Not only is this infinite love, but this is it happiness, freedom, strength.
Two ingredients are therefore needed for eternal love: choose to love and renew this decision every day.
Simple, as you can see.
I know, it sounds beautiful but it seems impossible, imaginary, fairytale.
And who said you can't make it your life more beautiful and fantastic than a fairytale?
Now I'll explain what you must do, first of all, and what you must do together so that you can live happily ever after.
Your life will be the most beautiful fairy tale ever told!
Now I'll explain how to write the best story ever, and don't worry, the ending doesn't change and it sounds more or less like this:
and they lived happily ever after.
Here is the secret of princes and princesses.
1. Don't seek satisfaction in your partner
Okay, so it looks like the eleventh commandment!
Seriously, as seen before, thinking that the one you love has to meet your needs is wrong.
You're sick? Do you feel anger? Do you feel insecure or insecure?
It's your problem.
How to fix it?
Simple, by learning how to manage your negative emotions and turn them into positive ones.
I wrote this guide because if you eliminate negative emotions, you eliminate almost all your problems.
Read it carefully, it is essential for your life as a couple (and not only!).
2. Learn to be happy anytime and anywhere
What is missing at the end of the fairy tale is a really important note: despite everything.
Eternal love is possible, as well as always be happy.
Wait, I'm not done.
What is impossible is not to have problems or difficulties.
This would be absurd.
But you can be happy even if you have it, that's normal, that's how life works.
Don't worry, I have something for that too.
How to be happy and live the best life possible, a practical guide that will change it.
This too is critical to our path to eternal love, so read it now.
Remember the example of the two thirsty: if you want there to be love in your couple, don't wait for it, you carry it.
3. You have to learn the abc of the trade: to love
Do you think it is possible to live a loving relationship without knowing how to love?
Do you know what a common mistake is?
We think that when we find the right person everything will be natural.
In short, you don't think about learning to fly a plane because you find one you like. And if you don't know how to swim, the right sea will certainly not teach you.
But in love we believe that it works just like that!
I learned that loving is the hardest thing in the world.
Mind you, love is simple, but loving requires commitment, strength, passion, perseverance, will.
It's one of the most important things you'll ever learn in your life, but nobody teaches it and everyone thinks they know how to do it by accident.
I suggest you a guide: learn to love. I have condensed what I have learned in recent years and offer you many concrete ideas to start from.
Discover the 5 Steps to Living INTENSIVELY a life Full of Emotions and Find You Well and in Balance in Every Situation (without Feeling Bad anymore) Training Your "Emotional Independence”, Even If You Don't Believe That Things Enough May they Be Different ...
... If You Don't Trust Yours Capacity or Yours Character It Doesn't Help You!
4. Make love a daily choice
The secret of eternal love is probably all there.
The three tips I have given you will help you become capable of making this decision.
But learning to swim doesn't mean we'll be able to cross the ocean.
There is only one way to learn how to do this: to start.
You eliminate all claims if you manage your emotions, and if you learn to live happily, you don't need to demand anything from anyone.
In this state of freedom and serenity you can act with love, learning how to do it every day.
If you eliminate all negative emotions, if you are happy regardless of everything and you know how to give love, then nothing and no one can make you stop loving.
The beauty of life is just that: it's all up to you.
- The secret is to love without pretensions, that is give everything without asking for anything.
- Cultivate loving thoughts and actions, every day, constantly.
- Make this choice every morning, as soon as you wake up, forever.
As you can see, these are very simple things, which you could do today.
Often the problem is that we get up and don't love because we don't see love in those around us.
I want to clarify that this choice must be made by you, without expecting it to be shared.
The biggest secret is perhaps here: give everything without asking for it to be reciprocal.
I know, you are a couple, you are two.
Can you expect love to be given to you?
What love would that be ?!
You cannot decide for anyone but yourself.
If you want your love to be eternal you can only do one thing: choose to love, without asking for anything.
Don't wait for someone to do this for you - your life is your responsibility.
To be a couple, of course, you both have to make this choice.
But you can only take it for yourself.
Infinite love begins when you choose to love without conditions, without excuses, without end and without expecting anything, not even to be reciprocated, or reciprocated.
Not only will you give your best to those you have chosen to accompany you throughout your life, but you will also offer the perfect example, strength and help to make this choice possible.
You start, this is the biggest decision that will change your life and your relationship.
You can't force others to follow you, but showing the path you take yourself is worth a lot.
To conclude, I also want to offer you a resource that will be very useful for your story: a guide to explain how to overcome any couple crisis.
Eternal love is like wood: it grows strong where there is more wind and a crisis can truly be a precious opportunity.
Now you have a lot of material to work on.
I said it: love is simple, but learning to love and having the strength, requires a certain commitment.
It is a path that more or less coincides with our whole life.
Start today, you start.
And to help you do it in the best way, I thought you might be interested in understanding to what extent does a couple relationship make sense.