Last update: April 14, 2020
The traits that distinguish emotionally strong people have nothing to do with toughness of character or inflexibility or a tendency to impose themselves on others. On the contrary, emotional strength is not expressed through gestures of force, but mainly through resistance and self-control.
The characteristics common to emotionally strong people are therefore associated with the concept of moderation and balance. We come into the world without one and the other, but we can potentially develop both. It is up to each of us to feed them.
Self-control is therefore the key word. This has nothing to do with repression of feelings, but with the ability to filter what we feel, so that it does not “explode” leading us to act in ways that harm ourselves and others. Emotionally strong personality traits speak to us of self-control. Here are 7.
Traits of emotionally strong people
1. They don't try to get attention
One of the characteristics of emotionally strong people is that they value themselves. This means that they do not depend on the opinion of others to think or feel that what they are saying has value and makes sense. They let themselves be guided by themselves.
In reverse, one of the characteristics of emotional fragility is excessive dependence on the opinions of others. This means that they don't value themselves enough and that they give others control of their lives.
This feature is strongly related to the previous one. One of the typical traits of emotional strength is the ability to cope with rejection and manage it without it hurting, leaving scars or affecting one's actions.
Clearly, it hurts any of us to be rejected. However, when being rejected triggers excessive fear, we end up saying "yes" when we want to say "no" just out of fear that others will exclude us or question us. We are endowed with emotional strength when we face this fear and learn to manage it in the right way.
3. They do what they want
Doing what you want does not mean acting arbitrarily and capriciously, as a child does. The typical "will" of childhood is different from that of an adult. In the first case it is the result of an impulse, in the second it is the result of a deep knowledge of oneself and self-control.
An emotionally strong person is able to decide what he wants after a process of reflection. He also has enough willpower to pursue what he wants and not let go.
4. They don't try to harm others
The desire to harm others arises only when there is something indefinite or unresolved within us. In all circumstances, human beings need each other; this is because we are interdependent beings.
An emotionally healthy person knows this and for this reason he sees others as his equals. He respects them and gives them a certain value, just as she expects to be respected and valued in turn. He knows that cooperation and understanding are the ways to achieve a life full of satisfaction.
5. They choose their friendships
One of the traits of emotionally strong people is that they are selective with who they let into their life. They know they cannot open the doors of their heart completely to anyone.
They also understand that part of their well-being depends on the quality of the relationships they have with others. For this reason they reject suffocating, conflicting, or wearing ties. Conversely, they seek healthy relationships.
6. They are not afraid of change
Not being afraid of change is an unmistakable sign of emotional strength. If we are, or feel, fragile, the normal thing is to try to follow our routine religiously so that we feel safe. In this way, we feel protected, even though it deprives us of a full life.
When we perceive ourselves as emotionally strong people, the desire to explore, to change arises in us. This is why we are looking for new experiences. Everything new usually produces a kind of fear, but at some moments in our life it is also the only way to move forward.
7. They are not influenced
An emotionally strong person questions the information they receive. Before accepting them as true, he analyzes and evaluates them. He is not attentive to fashion trends, or to the physical or mental ones of the moment.
Obviously this requires enough self-confidence. But most importantly, it requires each of us to know what is best for ourselves. For this reason, everything that is chosen and followed by the majority becomes the subject of examination.
Those listed are just a few traits that are typical of emotionally strong people. We have chosen a list to simplify a really complex reality. The important thing is not to understand if you fall into the category, but to take this information as a reference point for constructive self-criticism.
Images courtesy of Hulay Ozdemir